Not quite masculine enough

When I think about transmigration, rebirth, isekai, or any other word for being transported to an another – preferably fictional or fantastical – world, I always dreamt of becoming a masculine action-hero with boundless magical or divine powers, that could use his overpowered abilities to directly deal with any obstacle. Maybe I would have some secret tool, special skill, system, or overpowered race or body that would make me far more formidable than any opposition. Maybe I would be a Kryptonian, an Eternal or a Celestial. That would have made me very happy. The difference between dream and reality became clear when I turned into a skinny twig of a nine year old girl with pale skin, grey eyes, and blue hair. I went through the new memories suddenly completely clear in my head. Yes. I am indeed Powder. Not only am I a twig of a girl, but I'm also an orphan living in a shitty neighborhood, with criminals all around me. I don't feel safe. Not at all. My new body's reaction to the stress and anxiety was to cry and wail, but I took control and forced myself to breathe. "Whooh, breathe Powder, breathe. Internalize the struggle, become one with Powder, become one. Breathe…brea…"

 "Powder! What are you doing? We're going. The others are waiting." A sharp voice pierced my bubble of peace and I was brought back to reality. Oops there goes gravity. I rolled off the bed, but quickly got up on my feet while acting nonchalantly in the way a child might. This body's instincts are really powerful, but I have to control myself.

 I looked up at my new sister, VI, a powerfully built girl of 15 with pink short-cropped hair. The comparison to my skin-and-bones state was stark. "Before we go, VI, I need a knife. You have your fists, but I'm too skinny to take anyone in a fight if a fight happens. You think I could borrow one from you or the others?"

 She looked at me thoughtfully before coming over and embracing me. "Hmm, we're not going to get into a fight Powder. Just a silent in and out. No one will be the wiser. Also, you don't have any practice with blades. Come now." She ruffled my hair and just walked off without even considering my request. I hated being in a juvenile body, especially with an overprotective older sister. I knew I could stop the hex crystal from going off in Jace's apartment by being careful and gently stuffing them into my pouch, but if Decker and his boys found us this time as well, I would need something to at least threaten them with. It would make me seem like a worse target than my larger allies. I grabbed a few of the pouches Powder had already prepared, but was dragged off by VI before I could take inventory.

 As I was practically dragged up the stairs and to a back-alley where we would move to the topside, I went through the specific process of making my bombs in my head and noticed something peculiar. When I looked at the product in my head, not only did I automatically create a blueprint simply by seeing everything, but I instinctively know the exact diameters and measurements, how different mechanisms work, and how to improve my products. It's as if my IQ was expanded from the already beyond genius level intellect of Powder who managed to make hextech without any formal education. I don't know if this was a delayed reaction from earlier, because my mind couldn't handle the extra memories and expanded capabilities at the same time, but I suddenly felt like I could solve any problem and work through any issue. Additionally, my memory is absolutely perfect. I can recall both this life and my past life frame by frame, with all of the sights, sounds, smells and feelings I had in those moments.

 When I considered mechanical principles, such as how I would make an electrical battery and solar panel in Runeterra, the information I had in my brain quickly filled in how I should best go about it from the knowledge and technology I already possessed. I thought about computers and how I could possibly make one, while taking into consideration the possibility of making them with hextech, and I got a positive feeling. I couldn't make any real designs or plans yet because I didn't have the hex-crystal, but I knew I could do the mechanical part and coding necessary to make real computers. Not only computers, but supercomputers using magic to calculate far faster than computers on earth can. If I could make that, in addition to some small drones or production facility, then I could not only transform the undercity, but the world.

 I got pulled out of my deep thoughts, which had only lasted a couple of seconds despite the massive amount of information I had processed, when VI patted me on the back. "Alright, let's go!"

 Mylo couldn't help but complain, "Aw, VI, do we really have to bring her? She's a jinx who will only ruin the job. I'm telling you, she's bad luck."

 VI punched his arm, hard enough to sting. "We are bringing Powder, and that's final. She needs to learn just like you learned. And she's not a jinx. Now let's get moving." While we walked, Claggor walked silently by my side while VI and Mylo were trying to discreetly talk about me and my role on the team. Personally, I didn't care much about what Mylo said, but my new memories from Powder told me that she would have reacted poorly. Her insecurities would have festered and grown, but I wouldn't take offense at Mylo's words. I'd show them all that I was the best person to have on the team.

 Walking through the lanes was a challenge. I was used to them through Powder's memories, but my lacking prowess in a fight, in addition to all of the sensory input from the lights, smells, colors, and people, made me stick closer to Claggor than earlier. The big guy had defended Powder before, so he felt like a safe guy to stick close to. My brain kept analyzing absolutely everything. Powder had already been very analytic, and she managed to find out a lot of technical details from first principles or simply by observations, but now my brain was on absolute overdrive to the point that I suddenly understood how the chemtech running the lanes functioned. No one really understood chemtech any longer. We had the means to produce chemtech, but the recipes and technological knowhow to innovate and create was gone. All that was left were anachronisms that somehow still worked. The production facilities had been taken over by Chembarons who were merely gangsters without any knowledgeable about chemtech. The one person I could imagine knew something about chemtech was Singed, but everyone else simply took chemtech for granted as a part of the undercity.

 The resources for the production of chems came from the very polluted bay. Most people didn't even consider where the raw materials came from, because all they knew was that the materials came automatically through pipes that led to the production facilities. Powder had been to a few, either to spy or to visit along with Vander and VI, but the critical thing I understood was that chemtech was practically a mix between nuclear fusion and normal chemical energy that can be harnessed through various fuels. It wasn't exactly nuclear, however, but instead exotic energy that shared some similarities with nuclear energy while being more inert. I knew of the exact principles to make Chemtech, but not all of the specifics.

 The way to make Chemtech was to take water and sand from the bottom of the bay outside of Piltower, remove most of the water, mix the chemical waste of the water together with the sand, and add either processed body-parts, blood, or other liquids from some of the mutated creatures in the bay. I couldn't tell exactly how the blood or other liquids were extracted, but I could find out if I tried. The chemical waste and the particles from the sand and liquid reacted in a way that would have been impossible in my old world, but here it worked like real science. The reaction created more energy than was in the individual parts, which I couldn't help but assume was mana or magic. Or perhaps some other exotic energy that I don't yet know of. This was so fascinating that I didn't even notice when we got in the elevator.

 VI immediately went into explaining mode. "Alright guys, here's the plan. We know the exact building and room, but we can't walk the streets. The enforcers would stop us from getting into the upper district, or we would at least have all their eyes on us. Instead, what we're going to do is climb the roofs and go from roof to roof. I'll show you the spot Littleman used. Finally we go across a small gap, and straight onto his balcony. After that, the job will be easy. Any questions?"

 Mylo raised his hand and spoke without getting a nod from VI. "Yeah, why are we bringing a jinx again?"

 I had to say something to blend in with Powders previous personality, "Shut up, Mylo. I'm not a jinx! I'll show you how useful I can be. I've spent a lot of time in the junkyard and at Benzos. I know what's valuable and what's not. Unlike some people I know who can't recognize the difference between their mouth and their ass."

 Mylo gaped for a moment before laughing, and Claggor smacked me way too hard on the back, "That's the spirit, Powder. You tell him."

 VI smiled and continued. "After we finish the job, we go the same route back. Make sure not to be noticed." I couldn't help but shake my head internally. No one of us had anything covering our faces or hair, so our identities would likely be revealed if we were ever spotted. I had no clue why VI hadn't thought about bringing masks, but maybe she felt like we had to blend in? We could easily have brought them in a backpack and only put them on when we got close to our mark. I remained quiet. Powder usually wasn't one to make tactical plans, and no one would listen to me anyway. The general attitude was that I was being brought along to get experience, but that they were carrying me hard. I don't know how I feel about that, since I'm not the original Powder, but I doubt I'll be as useless as they think.

 "We're almost there!" VI spoke down to us, while Mylo quipped back with a classic "Aw, man…"

 I struggled behind VI as we scaled the building. My tiny arms were quaking, but I used my humongous brain to find out the most effective way to move my body, how to hold, where to find leverage and to improve my technique. I started off rough, but based on my own experience, and the memories of Powder, I managed to refine it further and soon I was climbing like a little blue monkey.

 When we all scaled the roof, a whoosh could be heard overhead. We ducked down, but the airship flying overhead would have missed us anyway. I remembered the classic Powder line and blurted it out without thinking. "One day, I'll ride in one of those things."

 "And one day, I'm gonna shoot one of them down." VI smacked away Mylo's hand that was pointed at the airship like a gun, and soon we were moving across the rooftops towards our target.

 The height was a bit nerve wrecking, but the jump across that Powder struggled with in the show was easier than I expected. It was scary, but I knew I could do it. That confidence, in addition to my more efficient movement and ability to calculate distances, angles and weights, allowed me to push myself forward in the leap and lean forward while landing steadily. The counterweight of my upper body made sure that I didn't immediately fall backwards, but could instead use the momentum from the jump to walk partway up the roof.

 A few minutes later, VI kicked in Jayce's balcony door and we were in. "Animals!" Mylo rubbed the back of his head after Claggor smacked it gently. I couldn't help but be drawn to the formulas on the wall. They displayed some of Jayce's experiments with the hex crystals, and I immediately absorbed them. Yes! Finally I had some basis for hextech research. I wanted to read every book in the lab, but I didn't have the time.

 "You know Claggor, for once you're right. We're definitely not supposed to be here." Mylo started filling up our bag with junk, but I went straight for the desktop with the blueprints and the hex-crystal that Jayce was actively using to test his theories on. I flipped through the blueprints and remembered each of them perfectly before pressing the ejection mechanism and pocketing the hex-crystal. I took the stand over to the bag and put it in, but it took a lot of space. It would help me greatly in my own experiments, so I didn't budge when Mylo gave me the stink eye over it. I added a few other things that would help me with my experiments and tech before walking over to the next room.

 I quickly entered the drawing room where the other hex crystals were and opened the box. Then I very carefully placed the hex crystals into my satchel. No accidents were happening here today. There were a few more blueprints here that I also looked over, and soon I felt like I had a better picture of how to use the hex crystals effectively. I desperately wanted to bring every single book and note I found with me, but there were far too many books and they were far too heavy for me to bring. Despite not being able to bring all of the books, I could still read some. One glance at each page was enough for me to remember it, so I just had to flip through them fast enough. A few of Jayce's journals were laying on his desk, and that's where I started.

 Pages zoomed past as I kept flipping. I passively noted the notes on experiments, the runes he tried using to recreate magic, the interaction hex crystals had with other materials, how volatile it was, and what effect he was trying to produce. I quickly realized that Jayce was actively trying to reproduce the exact phenomenon that had saved him and his mother. The instant teleportation. He had nearly done it, but he was being too cautious. Because he was scared of the potential explosiveness of the hex crystals, Jayce had focused on safety before anything else. He was so cautious that he didn't even try testing anything with a high frequency and he shut down his experiments when they seemed to be too dangerous. If he had been a bit more daring, he would have figured this out ages ago, but the lack of official funding and a proper lab likely made it impossible for him. This wouldn't be an issue for me in the undercity as long as my new overprotective sister didn't barge into my business, but one could only dream. Jayce had a total of five notebooks filled not only with notes about the uses of hex crystals, but also design he had already worked on that considered how to implement the hextech in real inventions. The idea behind the teleportation gate, the gauntlet and mining laser were already things he had considered, but his idealism hadn't seen how he would be making weapons far worse than ever seen before.

 I was torn. I knew that killing Jayce might help the lanes in the long-run, but it would also hinder the potential of Piltower. Because of my foreknowledge and super-computer brain, I knew I would be far faster in innovating with hextech, so I wasn't sure whether or not stopping Jayce was the right move. Him changing Piltower might bring more resources and power to Piltower, but that also trickled down to the undercity. In that situation, I could take advantage of their technological advances for myself when I took over the city. That had to be my plan. To take Piltower. Their abuse of power was what caused the undercity to become a hive of scum and villainy. Any attempt by the undercity to better themselves or fight for their rights were met with the fascist boot of Piltower and the council. I wouldn't stand for that, especially when it was mine, VI's, and Vander's faces that would be stomped into the dirt by their iron-clad hextech boots.

 Reality is always darker than fiction. The true face of Piltower and the horror of the undercity is painted with an idealized brush in the show. Sure, the characters and setting were generally the same, but there are certain things you don't show when making a show that is supposed to be fun to watch. Just from Powder's perspective and what I can infer, it's not unusual for girls to be kidnapped in the undercity and sold into sex-slavery in Piltower. People die every day from various drugs and more bodies litter the street now than ever before. And this is all because Piltower is using the undercity to make a point. They're choking out trade, making it more difficult for zaunites to make an honest living, beating those from the undercity in the street if they dare show their faces in Piltower, and using the undercity as target practice. In the show, you mostly see the Piltower from the perspective of the privileged, as well as a few of the top-brass among the enforcers. The bottom was scum, but the top-brass still covered for them. Even the view of the Zaun was from the top 1% of the top 1% within the Undercity.

 All enforcers took bribes in one form or another, but mostly from topside. What they took from the Zaun were 'protection fees,' Sometimes the bribe was in the form of a little time at one of their brothels. They allowed criminal enterprises in the topside because they looked more clean than the ones in the Zaun, and they took advantage of the undercity to do it. Vander tried his best to control Zaun, but he couldn't really do anything when sanctioned gangs from topside came down and kidnapped girls or boys to put them in brothels. Vander had killed quite a few of them when they came down, but that was soon followed by teams of enforcers coming down and killing people like dogs in the streets. The undercity had no real way to fight back against their equipment, armor and weapons, so only a few tried to disrupt them. It wasn't very successful, except for a few ambushes made by more organized groups.

 Reality is dirty, while fantasy might be beautiful. One could think that Jinx or Silco were villains in the show, but as far as I'm concerned they were simply righteous rebels who fought against fascism, corruption, and oppression through extreme means. They might have gone too far with their careless violence, but now I understand their reasons. The worst part about Piltower and the council is that they consider themselves morally upright while ignoring the suffering beneath their blood-stained boots. Vander tries his best, but his unwillingness to go to war gives Piltower license to take advantage of us without consequence.

 While I pondered my moral dilemma, I kept flipping through books. I had already finished all of Jayce's notes and was now working on a few books about mechanical engineering at the same time. I was using both my hands to flip pages as fast as possible, but it still wasn't fast enough. Because I hadn't wasted time, I was ahead of schedule, but I could already hear voices and someone walking up the stairs. I flipped the books more furiously. Various mechanisms, how to generate and store electricity, the theory behind tension, torsion, how various gears can make a difference, and the classic steampunk inventions displayed throughout Piltower were exemplified. The most interesting book was about how the airships worked. The rigging, tension, how large various parts had to be, what sort of gas was in the various airships, how the moving wings had to function, how the hull of the ship was lightweight enough to fly while being stable, how the machinery driving the propellers worked, and much more. As the building blocks compiled, I felt like I could make my own flying machine. Whether that be an airplane, airship, or something completely different. I hoped to build a power-armor. That was my number one goal. It was definitely possible, and I would use a combination of hextech and chemtech to do it. Either hextech or chemtech could make a power-armor, but the combination of the two would transform it into something truly powerful. Before I made the power-armor, however, I wanted a magic-based supercomputer that could handle a lot of design, planning and iterations of various tools. I knew I could do anything mentally without much strain, but a second opinion would be able to point out weaknesses or applications I couldn't think of myself.

 When I was grabbing another set of books about math, Jayce was at the door. I could hear them scramble in the other room, so I was already on my way. "Hello! Is someone in there?" He kept banging on the door, but we ignored him. I had been very careful with the hex crystals, so there was no crystal that would explode as we ran. I took a final longing glance at the other books. If I had read everything here, I was sure I could create a new era of technology. Still, it wouldn't be too late to steal information from Jayce or the academy later. I already had more than enough information to work on for a few years already, and it wasn't as if I couldn't get books on the market in the undercity if I wanted them. They would, however, come at a premium. "Powder, we gotta go!" VI hissed way too loudly, but I was already walking past her. She dragged my arm and went into a run. "It'll be fine, just get back on the roof." Jayce kept pounding the door and shouting, but we were already boosting each-other onto the roof again.

 I was boosted first and then gave Mylo a hand. VI came next, and together Mylo, me and VI dragged Claggor up. It was hard, but he was stronger than one might think. One thing to remember about the world of Runeterra is that humans are naturally stronger than humans on earth, so people can do some things that might seem impossible for a normal human. That's how champions are made, after all. Most physical champions rely on getting passively infused with magic that turns them stronger while they train. If you have enough willpower in Runeterra, you can literally become superhuman through sheer determination and hard work. The addition of technology, magic, or other gear also helps. This is how VI becomes a champion. Her hard work improves her body beyond human limits. Together with her hextech gauntlets, she becomes a fierce warrior. Jinx on the other hand uses a combination of her marksmanship, hextech and chemtech. I might do the same, but I've always been a fan of using my brain for the most part. I might use something different than straight up guns and explosives. Drones, for example, as well as the aforementioned power-armor. Maybe I could make an army of robots or drones controlled by my super-computer AI? The possibilities were endless, and for the most part I wouldn't be required to go in guns blazing. It might sound fun, but the risk outweighs the benefit. No one in Piltower would be used to my sort of tactics either, because they would always expect to have a tangible enemy to fight against, while I would be far more elusive than that.

 I was zoned out in my own mind while we jumped across rooftops, but we still got into a chase with the enforcers. This time, however, we were far ahead and there were far fewer enforcers. Just before we left Jayce's room, we heard enforcers come into the building, and they likely got a glimpse of one of us on a rooftop. Still, there was no massive alarm like in canon because we didn't destroy a building. "Get them! C'mon now!" A few enforcers chased after us, but they only tried to use clubs or throwing bolas to catch us. They didn't dare to start firing guns in the streets or on the rooftops of Piltower. We were far more willing to take risks, jumps, and we were also far better climbers than the enforcers. Soon the chase tapered off and we were left alone. No massive manhunt was called either. To me it seemed like the enforcers were just chasing because they had to, but they hated putting in effort so they quickly stopped.

 The lack of a manhunt made us far faster, because we didn't have to be too careful when going back to the undercity. The bridge wasn't shut down, and neither were Decker and his gang where I expected they might be. Good. Mylo still couldn't help his blabbering, "At least this time the little jinx didn't mess up our score." "Shut your mouth, Mylo." VI was too protective, but I got a warm feeling in my chest when she stood up for me. My past life's family had been… less than ideal, so VI's genuine love was something I craved. It didn't help that Powder and my physical body reacted to the same words even more. Claggor also butted in, "Mylo, she did great. Lay off." The skinny boy raised his hands in a mock surrender, "Fine, fine, I'll lay off the little twerp. Just because you didn't mess up, again. You still have time to throw our score out of the elevator if you want to live up to your name, but I won't recommend it." I just glared at him and leaned into VI. I was tired after all that excitement. My movements were efficient, but Powder lacked stamina despite her active lifestyle. It didn't help that my brain had been working furiously either. It felt unnatural that my brain could work so far above any human limitation, but it might be that magic is infusing itself into my brain and helping it grow. Perhaps it's an effect of my transmigration when my head had to make space for a new personality and another set of memories, or perhaps I'm mutated somehow. Otherwise it might be similar to how a warrior's body is strengthened through training, only accelerated and for my brain. I can't tell for sure. It might even be a gift from some God or the supposedly omnipotent being that sent me here. It felt like the energy my brain was using was much less than it would actually require, but that was more of a feature than anything.

 The sight of the chemtech lights, together with the sounds and noise of people was both chaotic and beautiful. The aesthetic of the lanes is amazing on the surface, but it hides a lot of pain. I played "The Playground" in my head as we walked the street. A variety of species were all present in this little slice of the undercity. Massive, cloaked figures with odd head contraptions, small animal-people who had various booths, beggars, people with strange creatures in cages, brothels, performers who played with fire or had various scams going on along the street, weapons exchanged hands, and finally The Last Drop came into view at the end of the street. The elevator we took was a little-used elevator pretty close to The Last Drop. The reason it was little used was that the tourists all came through different elevators that actually had guards. This elevator was hidden away on the surface and in the lanes themselves, so you had to know where it was to find it. VI and the others might not have noticed, but I realized that a few people were watching the elevator and noting down who came through. Most of them answered to Vander, but I assumed a few of them sold the info to the highest bidder. Silco, perhaps. I couldn't help but sigh because it was likely that this would make us the number one suspects despite not blowing up a building. At least the response from the enforcers wouldn't be as bad, but Silco would still in all likelihood use this opportunity to take over the undercity.

 We walked into The Last Drop with our heads held high, but Vander still caught our eyes and nodded toward the basement. When we were all gathered down there he immediately went into a tirade. "I can't believe you. You went against my word about not going to the other side of the river." In comparison to the district of Piltower closest to the undercity, the other side of the river was where the elites of Piltower were. "Not only did you go against my word, but I heard about a chase you were involved with. No one has come with your descriptions just yet, but it's only a matter of time before the enforcers will be crawling through the lanes. Now, where's your catch?"

 VI pointed to the backpack Claggor was wearing, "It's in there."

 "Fine, we'll go over to Benzo and get rid of it later."

 I, however, couldn't let him sell all of it. "Vander," he looked at me with that stern dad look and I nearly clammed up. Powder didn't want to go against him, but I had to force this through to get my plans started "I need some of the parts we got. There's some tech I can make with them that might revolutionize our technology and even weaponry. It could bring a new age to the lanes if I got some support."

 Vander looked doubtful, but before he could reject me I used the most effective trick in the book: puppy eyes. "Vander, please. Give me a chance. I know I can do this. It will actually make my inventions work. Please, please, please…"

 He raised his hand and sighed in defeat. "Fine, keep a few things. But it's coming out of your own share and you need to have someone with you if you are going to experiment with anything dangerous, alright sweetie?"

 I only nodded and smiled. I knew I had to be looking cute and goofy, but I couldn't help some childish impulses. "Yes! I promise you won't regret this." I rushed up and hugged his waist. His massive right arm fell naturally over my shoulders and he gently stroked my hair for a few seconds while trying to quietly gesture with VI and the others behind my back.

 "C'mon Powder," Claggor spoke up, "let's leave VI and Vander to talk about the details while we get your gear set up." I broke the hug with Vander and looked through the bag to find the things I needed. I found a few tools I would need, in addition to some materials and the plate that Jayce was using to try to stabilize the hex crystal. I already knew how I could use it to stabilize the crystals, so I had already taken the most important step.