Bring Out Your Dead

The phone on Allie's desk rang.

"Kingston."

"Hey, there's Allie Cat," said Makayla.

"Don't call me that," she told her for what felt like the millionth time.

"I give nicknames. It's what I do. You would think you'd be used to yours by now. I mean, we have been friends for over a year. Plus, people are starting to think that your nickname is Allie Cat Don't Call Me That!"

Allie rubbed her temple. "This is why I never had a best friend," she said.

Wow, just wow. That hurt Caretaker, and I no longer have the ability to feel.

"You're the greatest friend I ever had. Not the best, the greatest."

Awe. If I were capable of crying, I would.

He wiped an imaginary tear from his cheek.

"Well, you're stuck with me," she said. "The body has been positively identified. It is Melody Crawford. Big shock. Her father just left."

"What took so long?" she asked.

"Something about being in the Middle East and having an issue with his Visa, passport, or library card. I don't know. The farthest I've been out of Cleveland is Canada when I was 12, so I am not privy to border crossings."

"If it's any consolation, you aren't missing much; half of the world fucking sucks anyway," Allie said.

"Then I wouldn't mind going to the other half that doesn't suck at some point in my life. I need to find myself a wealthy girlfriend or a sugar mama. I am dad the point where I may even switch teams for a couple of bats. But then again I--"

"Can we bring the train back to the station, please?"

"You and Bruss can come down now. I'm ready to share my findings," she said. "And bring Hercules if you can, or I can call him."

She looked over at the breakroom. Bruss and Dean were laughing and drinking coffee. Bruss must have been telling him a story. His arm was up in the air, waving around.

"No, he's here. He and Bruss are besties now. We will be right down," she said. "They call each other Bill and Ted."

"Really? Who's Bill, and who's Ted?"

"Who do think who is who?"

"Dean is so Ted."

"Yes, Dean is so Ted."

She hung up the phone.

"Let's go, Bruss. Makayla is ready to give us her findings," she called to him.

She rose to her feet, taking her coat from the back of her chair

"Can I bring my friend mom?" he asked. "Pleeeeeease."

Yeah, mind if he comes with you, Caretaker?

"I would mind if you came with me Malibu."

You never used to mind if I came with you.

"Oh, for the love of God! You're not exactly giving me a choice?" she asked, pulling her coat on.

"You always have a choice," Dean said.

Malibu put his hand over his mouth and mumbled.

Yeah, like Grade A choice.

"Wow, you are so funny."

"You're lucky Makayla has requested your presence... Hercules."

"What! He got a Makayla nickname already! That burns," Bruss said.

"Getting a Makayla nickname is a special honor?" Dean asked.

"Not unless yours is Allie Cat," she said, rolling her eyes.

If you needed to find the Cuyahoga County coroner's office, you would pass right by it thinking it was an abandoned gas station. The structure had seen better days. Those days were about two decades ago. The bricks were faded or green. It could use a good pressure wash. The bushes needed trimming, the flowerbeds were growing nothing but trash, and the parking lot was filled with potholes. Bruss pulled around the building to the back entrance.

Allie and Bruss walked into the building with Dean trailing behind them. Allie opened the door and gestured for the guys to go in. The door closed before Malibu went through.

He walked straight through. Umm. Rude Caretaker.

"I didn't think you were coming. Don't these places bring up PTS?"

I don't know, never saw the place; I was dead. Plus, I would walk through to hell to see hot coroner.

"Her name is... Ya know what? Nevermind."

The interior of the building was no better. The halls looked like a rundown hospital or an abandoned asylum. Beige-painted cinder blocks and linoleum floor tiles that were chipping and cracked lined the hallways. At least it was clean. Now, the smell, on the other hand, was soaked into the walls; that's never going away, no matter how much bleach or disinfectant they scrubbed them with. Makayla gets undressed in her garage and doesn't bring the smell in. Her clothes go right in the washer, and Makayla goes right in the shower.

You could hear the halogen lights buzzing overhead. Posters reminding people to wash their hands and cover their cough plastered the doors. Arrows pointed to the head office, storage, bathrooms, and the morgue.

We saw nicer buildings in Baghdad.

The four of them walked down the corridors in silence. Slowly, the smell started to creep up on them.

Dean put his nose in the crook of his arm. "Oh, dear God, what is that smell?"

"You're in a morgue," Allie, Bruss, and Malibu said in unison.

"I've never been around a body after it leaves the scene. Let me rephrase that: I've never been around a body in full-blown decomp. It's always out in the open air or, dare I say, fresh," Dean said. His stomach wretched. "Holy crap, it smells like rotting meat and nail polish. How does this not bother you?"

I haven't been able to smell in six years, so I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Dean's face turned pale and green.

Can you imagine a pretty boy deep in the shit, pulling people who are missing the bottom half of their body or has an eye hanging out of the socket?

"Yeah, or shot in the throat while they were standing right next to you."

"If you're going to work in this city, I suggest you get used to it," she said.

She opened the door to the main autopsy area. "Shit rolls downhill, Cowboy, and people like to use Cleveland as the toilet."

Makayla looked up from the paperwork she had spread over her small, disorganized desk.

I love you, hot coroner. Malibu had a dreamy look on his face.

"I love you, but dude, you're barking up the wrong skirt."

She took one look at Dean. "Hey, there, Hercules. You're looking a little off-kilter there. If you must vomit, do it in the sink to the right," she said, pointing to the corner of the room.

The Autopsy room was your basic room with only the basics: two tables, metal shelves polished so clean you could see your reflection, boxes of nitrate gloves, autopsy saw blades, bone saws, and sternal saws. The place smelled of bleach, formaldehyde, and decomp.

Dean looked around; there were so many other instruments in plastic drawers, the clincher was the specimen jars with preserved internal organs.

Makayla stood up and walked out from behind her desk. She was a cute little thing. She was 5′4 and had a mop of dark curly hair with bright neon-colored streaks. She had once said she looked like a cabbage patch kid, complete with a button nose, full cheeks, and almond-shaped brown eyes. She looked like Mila Kunis if she was made into a Cabbage Patch Kid.

"Makayla, why don't I have a cool nickname?" asked Bruss.

"I'm still deciding if I like you." She gave him a smug smile.

"You've known me for well over a year, and you've known Carron for about eight seconds!"

"Jealousy is a bad color on you, Bruss," Dean said.

"I see you brought a date, Allie Cat," Makayla said. She winked at Dean.

"Don't call me that, and you told me to bring him."

"What about me?" Bruss said.

"I didn't ask her to bring you. You just showed up," she said, smiling at him.

"Are you guys always like this?" Dean asked.

Makayla let out a laugh.

"Like what?" she asked.

"You should see them when they get a couple of drinks in them," Bruss said.

Been there, saw that, did a body shot, and licked the salt off her breast, Dean thought to himself.

"You dance on one bar, and suddenly you've got a reputation!" Makayla exclaimed.

She threw another wink at Dean.

"You danced on four bars, Makayla. Four, and your bra is hanging from the ceiling of one of them," Bruss said.

"Can we please talk about what you found so far, with the body, the entire reason I am here?" Allie asked in a snippy tone.

I thought you were here to spread positivity and sunshine to the masses.

"Do you see that door? I want you on the other side of it."

"Okay, okay. You know Allie Cat, you are a total buzz kill."

"Don't call me that."

"Buzz kill?" Makala asked.

"No. Not buzz kill."

"See, Buzz kill. Carrying on, I have confirmed that it was the same weapon in both murders. It's a dagger."

"A dagger? How do you know it's a dagger, not just a knife?" Dean asked.

"The entry point of the wound is a puncture, not a slash. It's an interesting choice. You don't see many daggers." She put her hands on her hips. Furthermore, to answer your question, Hercules, I have a degree in forensic pathology. That's how I know."

You are so intelligent, hot coroner.

"YOU WALL NOW!"

Good God, you are so bitchy.

"I found surgical scars; she recently had a tummy tuck. I have no idea why. She didn't need one if you ask me. Now, the hard part of this job." She took a deep breath. "She had bruises on her thighs and damage within the vaginal walls. The pelvic confirmed she was raped repeatedly and over a period of time. She had bruises on her wrists and ankles, bound with handcuffs and rope, and I found a sticky residue from duct tape. The X-rays show her coccyx is broken."

"Coccyx?" asked Bruss.

"More commonly known as a tailbone," Makala said.

"Then why didn't you just call it that?" he said.

"Because Brussel Sprout, I still have fifty-four thousand dollars in student loans I'm paying off, so I'm going to use all the big and confusing words I paid to learn," Makayla said.

"Brussel Sprout? I finally get a nickname and it's Brussel Sprout?"

"You don't want it? Okay, I take it back."

"NO! NO! I love Brussel Sprout. I will cherish the name," he said.

"That is a good one," Allie said.

"I know. It's been staring me in the face the entire time."

Dean was starting to get the feeling in his throat that happens when you feel the nausea building.

"Do you have a definitive cause of death?" Dean asked.

"Exsanguination."

Exsanguination. How can she make that word sound exquisite? Malibu sighed.

"She bled to death, slowly. Her Achilles tendons were severed. She wouldn't have been able to stand, let alone walk or run. She was severely dehydrated and malnourished. Same as the first victim. In my professional opinion, they were being held somewhere for a while. These girls suffered."

"How are you doing with the ID of the first victim?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I wish that I had news. We have an MO. Why would anyone do this to another person," Makayla said, her face very somber.

"There are three reasons someone commits murder. Love, money, or to cover up a crime," Allie said. "Thanks, Makayla. The next time I see you, let's do it over tequila shots."

"That sounds good to me," Makala said.

Dean looked at Allie. That sounds good to me, too. I would love to do more body shots of you. I would love to be with you again, too. Jesus H. Dean, how can you be thinking like this? Don't think smut like this. You are a Southern gentleman. And I would be a very gentle man with you. Dear God, Dean SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN ALREADY! What would your mother say? Then again, what mom doesn't know won't hurt her! Oh my God, you are going to confession after this.

Allie watched as she covered the body with a sheet.

"The sooner, the better," Allie said.

I'm game. Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots!

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MALIBU! GO AWAY!"

After about an hour, they were ready to leave. Dean couldn't get out of the building fast enough.

Makayla waved Allie over while the guys headed into the hallway.

"What? Did you forget something?"

"I was just wondering if you were going to hit that. If not, I am going to give it a try."

"Makayla, you're a lesbian," she said.

"I would go Bi for that guy. So, are you?"

"Hell ya! But at the moment we do have to work together. How awkward would it be if we hooked up and then had to look at each other for the remainder of the case? But yes. I am absolutely going to hit that when the time is right. Till then, it's just Detective Kingston and FBI Special Agent amazing ass."

Nobody can objectify a person quite like you, Caretaker.

They discreetly bumped the sides of their fists together.

"Let me know when it happens because I want details, including measurements. Do you know what the top of a baseball bat looks like? Let me know if I'm right."

"You are something else."

"You wouldn't want me any other way. Bye, Allie Cat," she threw her a kiss.

Allie "caught it" and slapped her ass

You have no idea how much I love being dead so that I can witness things like this.

Bruss popped his head back into the room.

"Ah, we need to go. The big man out here is as green as his eyes."

Dean used his long legs to widen his stride to get out faster. He threw the door open and let the fresh air fill his nostrils.

"I'm glad that's over," he said.

"The smell is going to be stuck up your nose for a while," Bruss said.

"OR, feel free to drive separately next time or don't come at all. That's always an option," Allie said.

She pulled open the car door and got in.

Jesus Christ, I can't win with her, Dean thought. I refuse to believe this is the same girl I met. This girl is kind of a bitch. I will have to be reassigned, and I can't do this. But what am I going to say to Kent? Hey, guess what? I can't work on the Crawford case because of my one-night stand with the personal trainer a few months ago. And here's the kicker! She's, in fact, NOT a personal trainer; It turns out she's a detective out of the 6th.

"So, Detective, you like tequila? That's a pretty strong drink," Dean said.

"She loves tequila. I've seen her drink an entire bottle by herself. She doesn't remember doing it, but I do. Have you ever heard that country song by Joe Nichols, Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off? That's Allie."

You have no flipping idea how true that statement is. "I have heard of it. You sound like a lot of fun to be around Kingston," he said.

"Yeah, I can be quite the amusement park when I want to be."

She glanced at him in the side mirror.

Yeah, especially that one ride that drops the floor out from under you.

"Is there a good spot to go for a drink around here? I am from the east side, so I am unfamiliar with what's on this side of town."

"We all go to a place called Jake's. It's a cop bar. If you go, leave anything that says FBI in your car. You don't need to draw unnecessary attention to yourself," she said. "You draw enough just by being yourself."

"Any place that is NOT a cop bar where I can draw attention to myself?" he asked.

"Muldoon's Pub is alright. Just a bar with a semi-normal crowd."

"Semi-normal?"

"Well, Kingston likes to go there, so... yeah."

"We go over to the east side on a rare occasion," Bruss said.

"Is there one specific place you make the trip for?"

"Yeah, we are friends with the owner of Ava's," he said.

"Her and Bruss used to date. The sexual attraction is still there, but neither will ever admit it," she said.

From what I heard, they didn't have break-up sex for closure.

"Break-up sex is essential," she said out loud.

"Okay, that was extremely random," Dean said. "True, but random."

"You agree with her, Carron? Allie told us last time we were there that we needed to have break-up sex. We broke up two years ago."

"Does that make a difference?"

"When you got a beautiful woman at home, it does," he said.

"More like a cute toddler," she said.

"You know what, ALLIE CAT? You'd be in great shape if you ran as much as your mouth."

"I've been in good shape for the last decade and a half."

"See, you have proved my point."

Dean let out a snort from the back seat.

"Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth?"

"Drop dead. Then you can have a valid reason to wear your dress blues again since you don't get invited to anything," Bruss said.

"If I wanted to die, I would jump off your ego and land on your IQ."

"Is this a regular thing among you two? Just so I know," Dean asked.

"Yes, always. We enjoy getting to one-up each other. Plus, it helps us gain more insults for future use," he said. "I always run out before she does."

I taught her half of those. We had some real dipshits in our squad.

"Do you do this with anyone else? Just so I know ahead of time?"

"Her and Makala will go at it from time to time. They are undeniably sadistic with each other. Girls are cannibals. They will eat you alive."

"Okay, I want to play along. Lay one on me," Dean said.

Why, in God's name, would you want to have her tear into you voluntarily?

"The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. You look like you came out of a slow cooker. When I see your face, I wouldn't change a thing except the direction I'm going in. Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seem bright until you speak. Don't worry; everybody makes mistakes, like your parents. You know a glow stick has a brighter future than you. Lasts longer in bed under the covers, too."

Oh, fuck, dude! That is the most savage one if she does remember you! Malibu whispered into his ear.

"Okay, That's good. I get the rules of the game now."

"Are you SURE? I have so many more."

"No. Nope. I am good," Dean said.

Bruss looked in the rearview mirror. Dean's eyes were wide, and his lips were pursed.

"Did you say Dress Blues? As in the Marine Corps?"

Allie threw her arm over and hit Bruss in the chest. "Loudmouth motherfucker! When God made you, he had his eyes closed!"

"Fuck, I think you broke a rib," he whined. "Your skin is glowing from all the radiation coming from your toxic personality."

"Well, it's because of people like you that God no longer talks to us," she said.

Dean chuckled from the back seat.

Allie turned around. "And you! If I throw a stick, will you leave?"

Yeah, this is NOT the girl I met at the bar. That girl must have jumped off Bruss's ego already.

It's a coping mechanism. The bright side is she told hot coroner she wants to "hit that." But she has already beat the self-esteem out of you.

I hope you are enjoying the story. Comment, like, and review! Thank you😊