Abhor

This book has a special place in my tiny bit cold heart that has already melted with every tears that I shed in my life.This story is dedicated to all people with fucked up life as I am.

********************************************

"Come on,you dickhead motherfucker!"

I yelled as my feet were swift moving down the stairs like a fucking pig get chased by hulk.I stumbled on my run,making me fell flat on my face.Fucking stairs.I looked up and still not even the shadow of my brother appeared neither with darkness nor light.I swear to mama Carey if this bitch didn't show up in 5 minutes I would make him walk to school like an animal walking all four at the desert as if a meteor was about to hit it.I rushed down the hallway of my house to the dining room.Yes,I lived in Beyonce's big ass house that it took me five seconds to arrive.There was no one.This is not a fucking Disney show where the mother will be waiting at the table with dishes from all over the globe beautifully arranged,the father was there with full office attire,reading a newspaper and the main character will only be taking a banana because they were late to school.I went to the kitchen and took out a slice of bread and spread some butter on it because,we all need some flavour in our life,plus I won't be eating only white bread like a pigeon.

"We ran out of milk."

My brother who looked like he was about to go to prison held a bottle of empty milk in his hand stand next to the wide-opened fridge.His eyes were focused on me,expecting an answer.Do I look a cow to you?My eyes shifted from the milk to his outfit.

"Why the fuck you look like you smoke cocaine twice in every three hours?"

I asked with my brows all furrowed.He was dressed in a loose blank grey shirt with a pair of grey sweatpants and his hair was messy as it looked like a bird was ready to lay eggs on it.

"Why not?"

He answered with innocence painted all over his dumb face as he put the bottle on the shelf,his hand was rapid grabbing a box of cereal.Very thoughtful.

"We're going to school."

"Why not?"

Oh my lord,if killing is legal I would shove him back into my mum's vagina and hoping he dissolved.I rolled my eyes,and facing back to my bread and spread the butter using a small knife that I found on the counter like a stipper at the gay club.

"Did you guys hear about your Uncle Carl got into prison last week?"

My mum came out of nowhere walking towards us and resting her right hand on a counter near the entrance.I put the small knife into the sink,and bite my bread slowly.My steps were slow facing my mum.

"Drugs?"

My brother asked while shoving dry cereal into his mouth like it was his last meal.That animal.I always wondered why I had to be related to that creature.

"No.I heard he tries to attack one of his friends with an axe and threaten to kill him because of a phone?I don't know.Then,his friend called the police and there he is now,in jail.I've never liked him,that bastard.I only talk to him because he is your father's brother."

My mother confessed as she opened the fridge.Not surprised at all.But yeah,I wonder how he's doing since it was his first time in prison.That dick.I had a long history with him that I did not want to remember not even a second of it.

"So,was he conscious?"

I was chewing the last piece of the bread as I asked that question.The bitter taste of bread I had to swallowed felt like ashes was running down my throat.I wasn't sure the cause of the bitterness.The question,or the bread itself.

"The doctor said he was."

My mum closed the fridge with an apple in her hand.You might wonder what is episodes.Well,Carl was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in his early 20s.It started at the end of his teenage when he did a riot at school and the teacher had to call my dad to get him.When he was in his manic episode,he will be attacking people and causing trouble here and there,crushing properties and even broke into people's houses.He would be crying and doing some other shit later on.Yeah,I did not know much about this mental illness but I spoke in self experience.

"We ran out of milk."

My brother interrupted,making my deep thought bubble popped and dragging me back to reality.

"I will ask your dad to buy it later."

Heh,the milk and dad joke.I looked out of the window searching for his car.Yup.He already went to work.

Hey,I may have a fucked up family but I still have my father.He did not stepped out of my life when everything was out of his hands.There were times where he abandoned me,my mum and my brother at the early stage of their marriage but,he did pretty good job later on.I would say,he was not the dad that I wanted but the dad that I needed.I looked over at the clock hanging on the wall when the arms pointing to approximately 7:13 a.m.I still have time.

"Hey,Shane will not go to school today.He has been sick since yesterday.I don't know what he did at the preschool but he really has a high fever.Maybe I'll bring him to the clinic today."

My mum called as I was taking the key from the key thing,you know where you hang the key yeah,that thing.I looked at her and nodded.Shane was my other younger brother who was 13 years younger than I am.My parents lost their shit so he was obviously an accident.And wonder what my prisoner-to-be brother's name was?Shaun.Bitch,I swear to Lord,my mum was the least creative person in the world.And my name,it was my grandma's idea because I was named after a street next to her favourite church that she passed by every time she walked home from work.And I asked my mum,what was her idea on my name.She said she wasn't planning on anything like I wasn't there chilling in her womb for 9 months for her to think about it.Shaun was named after my dad's favourite uncle.And Shane was named after Shaun.I was named after a fucking street,bitch next to a fucking church!I can actually say my real name is my street name when I decided to dump school and focused on selling weeds.

I walked to the front door and straight to the garage.Voella!My Lamborghini.I looked around and realised Shaun was nowhere to be found.That cunt was literally a pain in my ass.

"Shaun,you bitch we're going to be late!"

I shouted from the top of my lung,releasing all of my grudge I had for him at once.Few seconds later he showed up.

"What did you do?"

I asked and slightly hit his head.

"I combed my hair."

He said while putting his water bottle inside his bag.

"You looked like Donald Trump on heroin.Or just Donald Trump.Both are ugly."

I chuckled.I took off the bag on my shoulder and put it inside my motorcycle.Yes,my Tesla was just a small motorcycle.Why motorcycle?Cause I'm a badass bitch with a badass attitude that only use badass vehicle so I could feel the fresh breeze every morning like a badass.

A few minutes later,there we were.Riding the motorcycle around the town together straight to hell.

As soon as I arrived,I parked my Ferrari at the motorcycle parking lot.Shaun has already left me by my own and ran to the school building.I took my bag and secured my Volvo before taking my phone out of my pocket and slowly strolled to the school.

"Alice!"

My name was called.I stopped my steps and turned around.

"Wanna have some fun?"