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After I Suicide My Life Restarted With The Life Restarted I Longed For

Have you ever felt like life is just too much to handle? Like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you can't go on anymore? That's how I felt before I decided to end it all. But then something strange happened, I woke up in a different reality, one where my life was everything I had ever wanted it to be. The question is, what will I do? Accept and happily cherish it or vainly repeat the wounds of history? What is this life I had longed for? *DISCLAIMER!* Please be advised that this book contains sensitive and potentially triggering content, including but not limited to self-harm, physical and sexual abuse, and other traumatic events. These events are depicted in a fictional manner and should not be taken as a guide for real-life actions. The novel does not promote or normalize suicide in any way. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a professional.

Haruki_Vanz · 現実
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33 Chs

Chapter 9 The Lunch Break

Chapter 9 The Lunch Break

June 4, 2012 (New Present)

Lunch break time.

  I let out a deep breath as we finally finished that activity. "Somehow, we get through that activity, huh?" I murmured to myself, still trying to catch my breath. But it was true, somehow we managed to complete the task, although it was only at the last minute of the allotted time. We had been struggling with interconnecting our different professions, all assuming we would inherit the jobs of our parents.

  I couldn't help but think of my parents' professions. My dad was the city mayor, while my mom worked as a maid. The lawyer's son was obviously going to be a lawyer, and my crush's parents were an entrepreneur and an actress, respectively. The quiet girl's father was our family driver, and I wasn't sure what her mother did. The delinquent guy's dad was a journalist, and his mother was probably a housewife. Lastly, the energetic air-headed girl's parents were farmers.

  I sighed, feeling guilty for calling her an airhead. She had proven me wrong by coming up with a simple yet reliable suggestion for the activity. Her idea of working in a fast-food chain saved us at the last minute. It was a funny thought, but we had no choice. The lawyer's son became our manager, my crush was the cashier, the quiet girl cooked, the energetic girl was a waitress, the delinquent boy delivered, and I became the store janitor.

Our output was the least impressive in the class, and everyone had a good laugh at it, including our teacher. It was embarrassing to think about how we compared to the other students. We used to have the smartest student in our class, and the beautiful girl was in the top three. As for me, I was always bullied, but at least I made it to the top four.

Despite everything, I gotta say that I had a blast at that activity. Yeah, it was tough, but that's what made it so fun, you know? We were all rushing around, tossing out ideas left and right, and the clock was ticking down on us. But I loved it because I could actually participate without anyone giving me a hard time. It was like finally being able to take a deep breath.

  But, let me tell you, it was also mentally exhausting not having any idea what my future holds. I'm just so glad it's over. I stretched my back out like a boss when we finished and looked up to see that it was already lunch break time. I couldn't believe it!

  Back in the day, lunch breaks felt like they lasted forever. Every minute felt like an hour. But now, my classmates started forming their little lunchtime circle again, and I was happy to see that no one was bothering me. You already know I've been bullied before, so this was a huge relief.

Usually, I'd take off to the bathroom or find somewhere to hide because I didn't always have lunch. The old man doesn't give me any cash, and my mom... 

  I just couldn't stand being in the classroom because it felt even more suffocating than regular class time. Can you imagine? Everyone else chowing down happily while I'm just sitting there with my face buried in my desk, trying to avoid getting picked on. Lunch breaks were supposed to be happy, but not for me.

  But now, everything has changed, man. I mean, not everything - my classmates are still the same old crew - but this time I actually have a lunch box. Let's see what my mom packed for me.

My lunchbox looked like it was made for a little kid, with its bright blue color and animal designs plastered all over it. But I didn't care - it was the first lunch my mom had packed for me, and I was excited to see what she had in store. I opened the box and saw four golden brown balls sitting inside. At first, I couldn't tell what they were, but then I remembered - they had to be croquettes!

As I picked up one of the croquettes with my finger, I could feel how crispy and crunchy it was on the outside. When I took a bite, I heard the sound of the fried bread crumbs crunching in my mouth, and I saw the gooey cheese and tender ham inside the food. It was like heaven in my mouth! I couldn't help but eat the rest of them in quick succession.

  The flavor was incredible. It was just a simple ham and cheese filling, but the taste was so complex and delicious. I had never tasted anything like it before. I ate the last one much slower, trying to savor every bite. It was like my mom had put a little bit of love into each croquette.

  After I finished my lunch, I rubbed my belly and let out a small burp. I was so satisfied and full. I wished I could eat this kind of lunch every day. It was the most delicious food I had ever tasted, and I couldn't wait to see what my mom would pack for me next.

I scanned the room, my eyes lingering on my classmates as they laughed and chatted, oblivious to my presence. But then, my gaze fell upon her. The most beautiful girl in our class. My first crush. She was talking animatedly with my other classmates, her eyes sparkling and her smile lighting up the room. I couldn't help but be mesmerized by her radiant beauty. She was even more stunning now than when we were young.

  Memories flooded back to me of when we were adults. I had seen her often, whether on TV or in person, but my feelings for her never waned. I couldn't explain it. Was it simply her beauty that drew me to her, or was it something deeper? She had even despised me as a child, and as we grew older, she had forgotten about me altogether. She had no idea that I now worked at the condominium where she lived.

I didn't notice again that I was staring at her, and guess what? I do believe now that she feels that I'm staring at her, so she returned a glance again. "PANIC!" Not only that, after she noticed that I was eyeing her, she was now walking toward me. "ULTRA PANIC!" 

I couldn't help but feel my heart racing as my crush walked towards me. It was as if time stood still and my mind went blank. The only thing I could think of was how to apologize for my actions.

  As she came closer, I felt my palms getting clammy and my knees weak. "W-what– she might now think that I'm gross and make me stop doing that again! God damn it! Anyways, I need to brace for impact," I thought to myself.

Suddenly, she was right in front of me, and I had to make a decision whether to run or face the music. Before she even spoke a word, I quickly lowered my head and apologized, my words tumbling out in a rush. "I'm really sorry for that! I don't mean to be a creep or anything. You're just so beautiful, and I couldn't take my eyes off you! I'm sorry!"

  I waited with bated breath for her response, expecting her to lash out at me or to tell me how weird I was. But instead, she looked at me with a puzzled expression and said, "What are you saying, Justin?"

  "Huh?" I slowly raised my head, my confusion evident on my face.

  "I don't know what you are talking about, but thanks for saying I'm cute," she said, smiling at me with a warmth that melted my heart. I wanted to protect that smile and keep it safe forever.

But how could she not have noticed me staring at her? It had happened so many times today, and yet she seemed oblivious. My mind was racing with questions, but all I could do was stand there, staring at her in disbelief.

CHAPTER 9 -END-