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After I Suicide My Life Restarted With The Life Restarted I Longed For

Have you ever felt like life is just too much to handle? Like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you can't go on anymore? That's how I felt before I decided to end it all. But then something strange happened, I woke up in a different reality, one where my life was everything I had ever wanted it to be. The question is, what will I do? Accept and happily cherish it or vainly repeat the wounds of history? What is this life I had longed for? *DISCLAIMER!* Please be advised that this book contains sensitive and potentially triggering content, including but not limited to self-harm, physical and sexual abuse, and other traumatic events. These events are depicted in a fictional manner and should not be taken as a guide for real-life actions. The novel does not promote or normalize suicide in any way. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a professional.

Haruki_Vanz · 現実
レビュー数が足りません
33 Chs

Chapter 23 Genuine

Chapter 23 Genuine 

June 6, 2012 (New Present)

The beautiful girl and I strolled together to school as the sun rose high in the sky, enjoying the warm June breeze that brushed against our skin. The start of summer brought a new sense of vitality and optimism into my life, filling me with the energy and enthusiasm to face each day with a smile.

Gone were the days of dreary mornings filled with the sounds of noisy cars and polluted air. The world seemed to be awakening around me, with lush green trees, blooming flowers lining the roadside, and a gentle river flowing alongside us.

The simple pleasure of walking and talking with her, surrounded by such serene beauty, made me feel alive in a way I had never experienced before. I savoured each moment, basking in the warmth of the sun and the lightness of my heart.

Every day, as we walked to school, I couldn't help but think how lucky I was to have this new life filled with simple pleasures.

While the beautiful girl and I strolled to school, I asked her a question out of curiosity. I overheard earlier that her parents were on a business trip, and also I saw them at my birthday party. Which means her father is alive.

"Uhm… hey, May I know what you feel about your family? I mean, how's your family? What do you think of them? Sorry if my question is out of nowhere." I asked nervously.

She smiled and looked up at the clear blue sky. "Oh, my family is just amazing! They are my everything. Every day with them is a day full of laughter and love. My parents are my best friends, they always have my back, and I feel so grateful for them. They are the ones who bring out the best in me, and I wouldn't be the person I am today without them."

I couldn't help but feel a warm feeling in my chest as she spoke. It was like I could see her family through her eyes; they sounded like the perfect family anyone could ask for.

"You know what, Justin? Sometimes I still can't believe they are real. They feel too good to be true, you know? But every time I see them, I feel their love for me, and I know they are genuine. They make my life so much better, and I can't imagine life without them." she said, looking at me with a dreamy expression.

"My family is… genuine."

I smiled back at her, feeling like I was a part of this magical moment. "I totally get what you mean, it's like they are straight out of a fairy tale. My family is like that too. They are the ones who make my life worth living. They are… my home."

I could see the relief and happiness on her face as I spoke. It was like we were connecting on a whole new level, and I felt I understood her more than ever.

"And you know what's the best part?" she asked, her eyes sparkling excitedly. "We get to make new memories with them every day. We get to grow and learn with them. We get to be there for each other no matter what."

I nodded in agreement, feeling like I had found a kindred spirit. "Exactly, we have to cherish every moment we have with them. And who knows, maybe someday we'll have our own families to share this love with."

We both laughed at that, feeling like anything was possible. At that moment, we were just two people enjoying the sunshine and the company of each other, talking about the things that matter most in life.

"You know, I just found out that I've been in a coma for over a month," I said, still in disbelief. "And do you know what? While my mom was telling me what happened, I could see how much she blamed herself for the accident. But it wasn't her fault. It was mine." I shook my head, a rueful half-smile on my face. "I wasn't careful enough."

My crush looked at me with sympathy, but she didn't seem surprised. "That must have been really hard for you to hear. But, I'm glad you were fine now. "

I nodded but then added, "But you know what's crazy? Even though I felt like my life was worthless before, now I can see that my family truly cares for me. They love me more than I ever realized."

My crush's face lit up with understanding. "I get what you mean. Sometimes it takes a tough situation to make you appreciate what you have."

"Exactly!" I said, feeling relieved that someone understood. "And you know what else? My parents make me feel so special. It's like they're living in a different reality than me. I'm just glad that they're my parents."

She smiled again. "Our feelings about our family are kinda similar, aren't they?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Then, when we are with our family, we should be happy and cherish every moment of our life," I said, grateful for this newfound perspective.

"Mhm, let's also make them happy like how they made us," she agreed.

And we both laughed softly, feeling more connected than ever.

We arrived at school.

"Good Morning, everyone!" Both of us said

Our energetic airheaded classmate approached us and said. "Oh! Good Morning to the both of you!" Then she spoke to my crush while I was going to my seat.

On the right of my seat is my studious classmate, the son of one of the best lawyers in our country. He also changed. Unlike before, all he always did was read and read educational books like encyclopedias or other reference books. But now the book he's reading is a manga, and instead of a calculator on his table, it's a handheld gaming console.

Well, it must be unsurprising because everything is different now.

My classmate on the left of my seat always wore earphones and didn't like to communicate with other classmates. She was always quiet back then, but now I can see that she's talking with our other classmates.

Behind my seat was the one who constantly bullied me. And you probably know what the changes are to him. He doesn't bully me anymore. Unlike before, I have yet to be able to enter the classroom. He has already hurt me. Now he is just writing in his notebook.

Lastly, my seat is where the beautiful girl is seated in front of me.

Our teacher entered our classroom. "OKAY, EVERYONE! Go to your assigned seats, and we will start our class.

As the bell rang to signal the end of our class, I couldn't help but sigh of relief. It had been a long day, but surprisingly, I didn't feel drained like usual. Instead, I felt lighter, almost weightless, as if a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders.

You see, I had been carrying many negative emotions for a long time. The constant bullying, the hurtful words, and the feeling of being ostracized by my classmates had taken its toll on me. But today was different. Today, I felt accepted and valued by my peers, and it was a feeling like no other.

I couldn't help but smile at how much things had changed. The bullies were no longer tormenting me, my once-studious classmate was now indulging in a little bit of fun, and my previously silent classmate was now chatting away with our other classmates. It was like a breath of fresh air had swept through our classroom and was a welcome change.

I realized that time did fly by when I was happy. It was like the world around me was moving faster, but I enjoyed every moment. It made me appreciate the moments of happiness even more, knowing that they were fleeting and could be gone instantly.

But it wasn't just about savoring the good times. It was also about persevering through the tough times, knowing the storm wouldn't last forever. I had learned that even in the darkest times, there was always a glimmer of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. And if I could hold onto that hope, I could weather any storm that came my way.

As I finished packing up my things, I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that the day had gone so well. I turned to our beautiful neighbor girl and invited her to come home with me. "Hey, do you want to come to my place for a bit?"

She smiled and nodded. "Sure, I'd love to."

Just as we were about to leave, we were interrupted by our energetic airheaded classmate. 

"Hey, sooo, both of you are heading home now?" she asked.

My crush nodded. "Yeah, we were just about to leave."

"I was actually wondering," the airheaded classmate continued, "if you guys are available tomorrow? It's my birthday and I was hoping you could come. It's just a simple celebration, though, nothing too extravagant like Justin's birthday. I hope you guys can make it."

I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. I knew that her family was struggling financially, and I didn't want her to feel like she had to put on a show for us. "Hey, are you sure it's okay? We don't want to impose."

She waved her hand dismissively. "No, it's fine, really! My parents just want me to invite my friends, and you guys are my friends, right?"

My crush and I exchanged a look, and then he spoke up. "Well, I can't practice for the play tomorrow, so I can come."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I don't have any plans either."

"Awesome!" the airheaded classmate exclaimed. "Thanks, guys, I really appreciate it!"

"Okay!! See you tomorrow, two of you!" The airheaded classmate said.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

I think I should stop calling her airhead because it seems that she's not an airhead anymore. In fact, she's one of the top 5 in our class. I remembered that she was incredibly stupid, but now, I can say she is now intelligent. I guess she studied harder this time. It's an impressive change for her, though.

We walked to our house and said goodbye to each other.

"See you tomorrow, Justin!" she said, 

I waved back at her, trying to play it cool, but inside, I was excitedly screaming. I couldn't believe I had just spent time with her and was already looking forward to tomorrow.

As I walked away, I couldn't help but think about how mature she was for her age. She had a way of carrying herself that made her seem wise beyond her years. I couldn't explain it, but something about her made me feel like I was talking to a grown woman, not a little girl.

But then, as I started to daydream about spending more time with her, I scolded myself for my thoughts. What was I thinking? She was just a child, and I was an adult. I couldn't let myself get carried away like this.

But just as I tried to push those thoughts aside, she called out my name.

"Wait, Justin!"

I turned to face her, my heart racing with anticipation.

"Uhm, are you free today?" she asked, and I felt a surge of hope in my chest.

"If you're free today, can you come with me? You know that one of our classmates invited us to her birthday, right? So I think maybe I should buy her a gift."

My mind was racing as I tried to process what was happening. She was asking me to spend more time with her? I couldn't believe my luck.

"If you want, Justin, can you help? I mean, I don't know what gift I can give to her. I can get an opinion from you or any suggestions.

I couldn't contain my excitement and blurted out, "Yes!! I'm free today! I'll just let my mom know."

As we said our goodbyes, she gave me the brightest smile, and I knew I would do anything to protect that smile.

But as I entered our house, I was hit with a wave of guilt. I had forgotten that I was supposed to help my mom with the cleaning, and I didn't want to disappoint her. But at the same time, I couldn't bear the thought of missing out on spending time with my crush.

"What should I do?" I muttered to myself, feeling torn.

Just then, my mom appeared, handing me a wad of cash.

"You and Mrs. Suazo's daughter will go to the birthday celebration of one of your classmates, right? Then you should buy a gift for your classmate," she said matter-of-factly.

I was stunned. How did she know? Had she been eavesdropping on us?

"B-but how did you know that, mom? And also, this money is too much!" I protested.

"Ah! I overheard you and Mrs. Suazo's daughter earlier. She invited you to buy a gift with her, right? So change your clothes and buy some gifts with her."

"But... Mom." I can't let my mom clean this house alone again.

My mother reassured me with a gentle face. "Justin, don't worry about me cleaning this house. I already told you that I'm strong. I can handle this all alone, so don't worry about me. You should go now, and don't let a girl be alone, okay?"

"Thanks a lot, mom. But tomorrow, I promise that I'm going to help you."

I changed my clothes. I wore clothes that didn't seem so childish. I know I'm eight years old, but I am not used to wearing clothes with silly designs.

I heard the doorbell.

Ding-dong~

Ding-dong~

It must be her. Okay! I'm ready. After all, it's not a date, so there's nothing to worry about.

I repeat we're just going to buy some gifts for our classmates, that's all. No date

CHAPTER 23 -END-

To be continued.