910. Chapter 910

After At Close Range

Episode 7.18

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: If nominated, I will not run. If elected I will not serve, unless I can own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: This is for Big Kahuna.

Tall Heat

By

Richard Castle

Ruggedly handsome, two time Pulitzer Prize winning investigative reporter, Jameson Rook, put his arm around the love of his life, his wife, Captain Nikki Heat, NYPD, to keep from getting separated in the crush of people.

Nikki shook her head. "Who would have thought that an eccentric billionaire could generate this kind of a crowd as a third party candidate for the Governor of New York?"

Rook smiled derisively. "Look at what's attracting people. You have a free bar on one side of the arena and a free barbecue on the other side. Sure, Pierre Gustav Toutant Demming can draw a crowd, but his poll numbers are still in the single digits."

"Agreed." Said Nikki. "But as close as the governor's race is, those few percentage points could cost your friend Mayor Whedon the race."

"Excuse me, sir. Can we get through?" Said a very feminine voice from behind them.

Rook turned around and found himself looking into the upper half of two enormous boobs. They looked to him like two pink bowling balls held up by a tiny bikini top. At 6' 2" Rook was not used to looking up at boobs, at least not when standing up. "Certainly. "He said, quickly moving out of the way. Then he noticed the young lady was not alone. There were five other ladies, all very tall, very busty and redheaded, behind her. "Who are you?"

"We're from the Ladies Professional Volley Ball League of Florida, the Red Raiders. We're here to play a game against some New York team of blonde bimbos."

"The New York Blonde Bimbos are owned by PGT Demming, you know. Their captain, Gina the Giant won an Olympic medal in 2000." Nikki said.

The redhead shrugged. "Ancient history. What have they done lately?" And with that they walked past Rook and Nikki.

"You seemed impressed by those women." Nikki said softly.

Rook thought quickly. "I'm always impressed by the physical attributes of professional athletes: Huge, sweaty NFL linemen, bulked up weight lifters, skinny, flat chested female long distance runners, and quarter horses. Can't forget them. What would a rodeo be without them? And brahma bulls."

"Nice save." Nikki said, teasing Rook.

Rook looked down at Nikki's vast cleavage. "Would you save those for me for later tonight?"

Nikki smiled, but before she could say anything, there was a piercing scream. Nikki sprang into action at once, heading for the sound of the scream. Pushing her way through a crowd, she found Gina the Giant flat on the floor with Detective Tom Schlemming bending over her. "What happened, Schlemming?" She demanded.

"I have no idea." Schlemming said.

Nikki couldn't help but notice that Schlemning had both of his hands under Gina's bikini top and was vigorously massaging her boobs. "Then what are your hand doing on her boobs?"

Schlemming looked down. "Um, I'm feeling for a heartbeat. She's alive."

"Durn tootin' I'm alive, you pervert." Gina snarled. The Blonde Bimbo tried to get up, but she fell back.

Nikki knelt beside her. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Gina closed her eyes and thought. "I was standing here, looking at those redheaded bozos when someone came up behind me and grabbed my boobs and squeezed them so hard that it cut of the supply of blood to my brain and I passed out."

"Squeezing your boobs caused you to black out?" Rook asked, wondering exactly how that worked and if he could talk Nikki into it.

"Very few people know this, but I've had breast implants." That brought a roar of laughter from the crowd. "One of the side effects is that pressure on my boobs causes a blockage of the blood from the heart and I pass out."

"Captain Heat? A word, please." Nikki was surprised to see it was Mayor Whedon.

"Certainly, sir."

Whedon led both Nikki and Rook to an unoccupied room. "Captain, although PGT Demming is my rival politically, it would look bad if something were to happen at one of his events that I was at. I was just here checking the police presence, but I'm here none the less. I need you to find out what happened here tonight. And find out fast."

"I'll have Raley, the King of All Media, start scrubbing the security video immediately."

"No you won't." They turned around to see an angry PGT Demming. "Obviously, one of my political enemies staged this to make me look bad by making it look like my head of security and nephew, Detective Schlemming was….Ungentlemanly towards Gina the Giant. I want my own investigator with you. I borrowed an agent from the FBI. I think you are acquainted, Rook. It's Special Agent Williametta Sorenson."

Sorenson, a burly woman with a five o'clock shadow and legs like tree trunks smiled at Rook. "This investigation would best be handled from my room, Rook. I have it all set up with the trampoline, the uneven bars and I even got the seven Emperor penguins. I've named them Grumpy, Sneezy, Bashful…."

"Dopey." Snarled Nikki. "This is my husband. He stays with me. Come on, Rook."

Detective Raley had anticipated Nikki's needs and had set up a computer station to scrub the video footage from not just the security cameras, but news cameras and videos taken by publicity people working for the campaign. "I've got something, Captain, but it's not much."

Raley ran some video footage slowly. You could see Gina the Giant and then a pair of hands reached around her and grabbed her boobs and squeezed. Gina's eyes rolled back in her head and she started wobbling. By the time she fell, her assailant was gone into the crowd.

"Run that slower." Nikki said. She smiled as she saw something. "You can just see the attacker had red hair. But, she's much shorter than the ladies on the other volleyball team. It can't have been one of them." Then she saw something else in the video. "Raley, can you blow up the area in the top left of the screen?"

Raley did so.

"Ochoa! What were you doing there?" She demanded.

"Recreating the crime, Captain. Normal police procedure. And I can assure you that none of the other ladies have had boob jobs. All natural. However, I can go back and recheck if you'd like."

"That will not be necessary." Nikki said coldly. "Raley, go through the videos and see if we can find a shorter redheaded woman anywhere."

"I'm sure we should look for the redheaded woman in the mayor's entourage." Agent Sorenson said.

"Good idea." Nikki snapped. "Why don't you go look."

Sorenson smiled and grabbed Rook's hand. "You're with me." She began to pull him away, but Nikki had an iron grip on his other hand. "He's with me. Until death do us part. Or someone else's death, capisce?"

Sorenson dropped Rook's hand and walked sadly away, looking back over her shoulder at Rook until he was out of her sight.

Suddenly, Rook saw something on the screen. "It can't be." He exclaimed.

"What is it?" Nikki asked.

"The redhead there. I think it's….My ex wife, Meredith."

"You have an ex-wife?" Nikki asked, her eyes narrowing.

"It was a long time ago. During the First Gulf War. I was embedded with…" Rook began to cry.

"The First Cav?" Guessed Ochoa.

"The Green Berets?" Said Raley.

"The Kurdish Peshmerga?" Asked Nikki.

Rook shook his head. "The Grateful Dead. I was doing a piece in Las Vegas on how they made tie dye Dead tee shirts when the ink made me woozy. The next thing I knew, this redhead had me in a cab and we were getting married by an Elvis impersonator. I had it annulled at once, of course."

"And I thought I was your one and done." Nikki said sadly.

"I'll make it up to you." Cried Rook.

"Look." Cried Raley. "That's live feed. There's the redhead, talking to PGT Demming. They're not far from here. We need to grab her."

Nikki and her team descended on their suspect, who, being interrogated by Nikki, confessed at once.

"I got a contract to make tee shirts from the Demming campaign. Then I found out that those tall redheaded tramps would be here. I tried out for them for years, but they kept saying I was too short."

"And out of shape, and uncoordinated, and clumsy, and unwashed, and nearly blind." Added the captain of the Florida ladies team.

Meredith glared at her. "I thought if it looked like a redhead had tried to fix the contest here by knocking out Gina, they'd be disgraced and I'd have my revenge."

"Nice try." Said the redhead. "We trounced the Blonde Bimbos. They didn't score a single point."

Much later, after the hoopla of election night was over, Nikki and Rook came back from Governor-Elect Whedon's victory party and enjoyed a bottle of Sancerre.

"Did you ever think about going into politics?" Rook asked.

Nikki laughed. "No. But have you ever thought about going into me?"

"Always."