599. Chapter 599

After Always Buy Retail

Episode 1.06

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: No amount of Twinkies will ever make me say I own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Detective Inspector Kate Beckett, of the London Metropolitan Police, better known as Scotland Yard, stood on the train platform of the little village of Tweedledum-upon-Tweedledee, looking for her fiancé, Sir Richard Castle. She had come down from London on the train to spend the weekend with her fiancé. She smiled as she thought of the word again. Fiancé. I have a fiancé. And not just any fiancé, but a handsome, rich, caring, loving fiancé who has been able to help me with my cases. Not that I care that he's rich, of course. Kate was one of the few people who knew that Sir Richard did not inherit the Castle millions as everyone thought. His father, Sir Jackson Castle had lost most of the family money purchasing valueless paintings of a decidedly risqué nature by some extremely short French painter. However, Sir Richard had become rich by writing thrillers under the pen name, Richard Rodgers.

Suddenly, Kate saw a brand new 1925 Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost pull up at the station. She saw Sir Richard roll down the window and wave to her. "Over here, Kate." He called to her.

She waved back. "Just let me get my things."

Before she could grab her suitcases, Sir Richard dashed onto the platform and grabbed them, then leaned over to kiss her. She pulled away. "Please, Richard. Not in public." Seeing the hurt expression on his face, she added, "But once we're in private, that'll be different."

He put her things in the boot of the car and opened the door for her. "What do you think of my new car?"

"It's gorgeous, but are you sure you can afford it?"

"Thanks to you, I can. Knowing you has given me all sorts of ideas for books. I've actually had to add a new pen name to my stable for one of my new series."

Kate nodded. "I know. "Hedgehog" Hammond, a gentleman adventurer, always getting himself involved in a murder, or something. You use the pseudonym, "Sniper?" Why?"

"Well, I was a jolly good shot in the Great War, you know. I thought it was appropriate. But I need to tell you about my latest book, Cold Wave, featuring a beautiful and brainy Detective Inspector from Scotland Yard, Nicole Cold. She's based on you, of course."

Kate blushed furiously. "Based on me? Are you sure that's wise. A female detective won't be that popular, you know."

"My publishers, Red Queen, love her. I bought this car with part of the advance I got for the Nicole Cold books."

"I hope you don't think I'm cold?" Kate said softly, running her hand along his thigh.

"Never."

Once at Sir Richard's country house, Kate put her things away and then went downstairs to find Sir Richard. Instead, she ran into a flashily dressed blonde in the billiards room.

"Oh, hello. I'm Kate Beckett, and who are you, if I may ask."

The blonde glared at Kate. "I'm Lady Gina Castle, if you must know."

Kate stood there speechless. Lady Gina Castle? Castle had no sisters, so this must be….his wife?

"You're not a lady since the divorce, Gina. And you weren't one before the divorce, either. He thought to himself. "May I ask why you've come to see me?"

"There's some paperwork that needs to be signed." She said angrily.

"Why did you bring it here? You know I'll have to have my solicitor look it over before I sign anything."

"I thought we might get together. For old time's sake." Gina said angrily.

"You should have rung me up. I have company this weekend. My fiancé, Kate Beckett."

Gina's jaw dropped. "You're actually going to marry this person?"

Sir Richard smiled. "I do believe that's the idea."

Gina turned on her heel and walked out of the billiard room and out of the house. They could hear the grinding of the gears of Gina's ancient Peugot Phaeton as she drove away.

"In addition to being my ex-wife, Gina is my publisher." He explained.

Kate just nodded.

That night, Kate sat in her room, just buttoning up the silk pajamas she'd bought especially for the trip. Her best friend had tried to talk her into buying some French underclothes, but Kate was too conservative for that.

She heard a knock at her door. "Richard? Please come in."

Sir Richard came in. "I did tell you I had been married before, didn't I?"

She smiled. "Of course. I was just upset when she referred to herself as Lady Castle."

"She's my past, Kate. You're my future. I thought Gina and I would be together forever, but then I caught her in bed with an American gangster named Slaughter. In addition to their liaison, she was selling Scotch to him so he could smuggle it into the US. Liquor is forbidden there, you know. Prohibition, they call it. You'll be the last Lady Castle, believe me."

"I know. I was just momentarily upset." Kate smiled at him. "Would you like to stay with me tonight? In my bed."

"I'd love to."

The next morning, the couple was awoken by a pounding on the front door. When Jacinda, their obese maid, answered it, she found it was Constable Kevin Ryan with bad news.

"Dead?" Said Sir Richard, when he and Kate met with Constable Ryan in the library.

"Yes, sor. An'd ma'm. Gina Castle, er, that is, Gina Cowan, was found dead behind the Oink and Sizzle public house. It were gruesome, sor. Sure an' it were."

"I'm sure a dead body would be quite upsetting." Kate said.

"Ow, oi've seen 'em before in the war, ma'am. But this were different. It were like some kind of ritual, like you see in the cinema. She was seated on an old stump, wi' a freshly butchered sheep between 'er legs an' a dead pigeon on 'er head. Gruesome, it were."

"Was she with anyone last night?" Sir Richard asked.

Ryan nodded. "She was drinking wi' three fellows. Not all at once, you'll see, but one after the other."

"And they were?" Kate enquired.

"A Doctor Joshua von Mannschaft. Coom fra' Berlin, he is. Some sort of 'ead doctor." Ryan pulled out a notebook. "Then there's a Welsh feller. A Mr. Eric Tudor. Wealthy git, made his packet in America, or so he says. Lastly is Tom Roberts. Local drunk he is. Why the lady would be drinking wi' him is beyond me." Ryan looked at both Sir Richard and Detective Inspector Beckett. "Can you help me?"

"Of course we can." Said Kate. Then she turned to Rick. "I know who the killer is." They said in unison.

Later that day after a few confirming phone calls to the Yard, Sir Richard and Kate met with the three suspects at the Oink and Sizzle.

"Dr. von Mannschaft, you're not a medical doctor, are you?" Kate began.

Dr. von Mannschaft leapt to his feet and clicked his heels. "Nein, Fraulein Beckett. I graduated mit a doctorate in philosophy from Heidelberg. I study dreams and interpret them."

"Yes, and when you put your subjects to sleep, you then steal from them. Your real name is Joshua Davidson and the only school you've ever attended is the Edward VIII School for Very Wayward Boys Who Need a Spanking, which you escaped from years ago. I assume Gina was trying to get you drunk so she could recover money you stole from her. Is that why you killed her?"

"Wot!" Cried Davidson. "I never did." Reverting to the English he had learned so long ago. "I'm innocent."

"Yes, we know." Sir Richard said. "At the time of Gina's death, you were having a romantic liaison with my grossly obese maid, Jacinda."

"That means I'm innocent." Tudor said. "I'm wealthy. Made a bundle in America. I have no need to steal from women."

"But you do anyway." Sir Richard said. "My accountant warned me about you. You were partnered with the infamous Charles Ponzi in what has become known as a Ponzi scheme. Your real name is Eric Vaughn and you're wanted by the police in New Jersey for fraud."

"But I didn't kill the woman!" Vaughn insisted.

"Indeed, you didn't." Kate said. "Mr. Vaughn is vain." She explained. "He's extremely upset that the swindle he and Ponzi ran is now known as a Ponzi scheme. You wanted half the credit. You spent last night at the village post office using the phone to call the American newspapers and demand the scheme be called the Ponzi-Vaughn scheme."

"Please." Vaughn cried. "Don't send me to New Jersey! Anyplace but there. The smell…"

Constable Ryan dragged the man off.

Kate and Rick turned to the last remaining suspect. "Thomas Roberts. But that isn't your real name, is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. It certainly is."

Sir Richard shook his head. "Constable Ryan is very good with accents. He told me that you have a slight New Zealand accent. That rang a bell, so we called Scotland Yard. You're a disgraced New Zealand robbery detective named Thomas Demming. You were fired for having disgusting relations with a sheep."

"We were in love!" Demming cried.

"Gina followed you out when she saw you were becoming amorous. She assumed she was the object of your desire, but she found you with a sheep. You killed her to keep your secret and then staged the crime scene to make it look like a ritualistic killing."

"I confess!" Demming screamed.

Later that night, Rick and Kate relaxed after making love. "Do you know something, Kate?"

"What?" She asked, dreamily.

"I think we should get married sooner rather than later."

"How soon?"

"Did you pack a wedding gown by any chance?"

"No."

"Well, I'm sure we can find one someplace."