377. Chapter 377

After Cloudy with a Chance of Murder

Episode 5.02

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Even if you stuffed Castle in my…Um, I'll just say I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Castle watched Kate walk away from him and into her bedroom. Okay. I screwed up badly and now I have to make it right. He followed her into the bedroom and found her at her bed, facing away from him. He put his arms around her pulling her into a close embrace. "I love you."

"I know. I'm just being silly, I suppose. Don't be mad at me, okay?"

"I'd be mad at you if you didn't mind another woman shoving her bobs in my face. I screwed up, so you have every right to be unhappy with me. Mad even. Furious. Enraged. Homicidal. Totally berserkoid, loony tunes murderous."

Kate giggled. "Down, Writer Boy. Don't go overboard."

"Writer Man." He said with mock sternness. "Man."

"Okay, Writer Man. But, and I know that this sounds silly, but as much as I pushed you away for years, I was also horribly jealous of every woman you were with."

"Every woman? You didn't even like me for years. How could you have been jealous? Who were you jealous of and why?" Castle was quite confused.

"Who said I didn't like you?"

"I seem to call a few death threats."

"That was me, pushing you away because I was attracted to you and I was afraid of that."

"Okay, okay. I know I can't win that argument. So, who was the first woman I was with you were jealous of? Serena Kay?"

"Meredith." Kate said, looking Castle straight in the eye.

"Meredith? My ex-wife Meredith? She's….she's…"

"A woman you slept with while you were with me."

"I was with you? Exactly how were we together and why didn't I notice it?"

"Don't try to weasel out of it. You bragged incessantly about how good sex was with your ex-wife, who you called the deep friend Twinkie. A word of advice, Castle. Don't brag about how good sex is with one woman in front of another. It makes us feel like we're so insignificant that we don't even exist for you."

"Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but…"

"And what about Lee Wax?"

"The true crime writer? I never even touched her. How could you be jealous of her?"

"Another writer? I saw the two of you, planning… something. Something literary. Maybe she'd be your new muse." Kate said. "I was jealous."

"Okay. Who else?"

"That teenaged model, Rina. You had no idea who she was and you were falling all over yourself, trying to impress her. With me standing right there."

"Kate! She was Alexis' babysitter! I would never have done anything…"

"And if she hadn't been someone you knew, you would have been all over her."

"I might have, and I might not…"

"Don't lie to me, Castle." Before Castle could say anything else, she added. "And then there's your agent, Paula."

"I slept with her years before we ever met!"

"So you admit to sleeping with her?" Kate took a step backwards. "And you couldn't wait to get into the James Bond book she was enticing you with. And you never asked me if you could be my partner again. Paula went to the mayor. That hurt, Castle. To think that you didn't care about me enough to stay with me, and then when you did decide to, you left that up to Paula to make the arrangements. Like I was just some minor contractual detail. Obviously, she was far more important to you than I was."

"I wanted to stay with you, I did. But you never acted like you wanted me to…"

"Just because I pushed you away a little bit, didn't mean I didn't want you around."

Castle knew it was useless. "I'm sorry."

"And then then was Scarlett Price."

"The hooker that worked in the DA's office? She was the killer."

"And you were salivating at the thought of her."

Castle just sighed.

"Kyra Blaine. The one that got away. The one that made the stars shine for you."

"The one I am not with now. The one who is happily married. And you know who makes the stars shine for me now."

"You saw her and it was like all those years apart had never happened. I actually expected you to take her away and elope."

"I have a great deal of affection for Kyra, but she's not you. She never could be you. She wasn't as important to me then as you were at the time."

"Jordan Shaw." Kate cut him off.

"Married with a child Jordan Shaw? Really?"

"You were far more impressed with all of her cool FBI toys than you ever were with me. And you were going to write a book about her, Federal Heat."

"It would have been a Nikki Heat book. Federal HEAT?" Rick shook his head in disbelief. "You hated the Nikki Heat books."

"I loved the books." Kate said firmly.

"Of course you did. How could I have missed it?" Castle said sarcastically.

"Then there's Ellie Monroe. She threw herself at you and you couldn't stop crowing about getting laid."

Castle nodded his head. "That was my fault. By that time, I knew you weren't just a very special person, I wanted you to be my very special person. But you…"Castle stopped. "You were just pushing me away and… I should have known better." Castle conceded.

"Precisely." Kate returned his nod. "And then you invited me to the Hamptons and took Gina instead."

"Gina was a huge mistake. Why I even tried to get together with her is beyond me. I should have broken up with her and asked you out. Except you were with Josh." He held up his hands in mock surrender. "I know. You were pushing me away and I should have known better. But that's pretty much it, right?"

"Natalie Rhodes." Kate replied. "She was creeping me out and you thought she was a great Nikki Heat. Really? Her as me? How could you?"

"I think the studio cast her." Castle mumbled.

"And then you kissed me."

"This is my fault?"

"You could have said something."

"So could you."

"We could have kept kissing." Kate said, smiling at him.

"We should have kept kissing." Castle smiled, too.

Kate's smile turned to a frown. "Serena Kaye."

"I should never have kissed her. But I was undercover."

"And I know what kind of covers she wanted you under. And let's not forget Sophia Turner, your muse."

"My former muse. Who tried to kill us both, by the way. And who was trying to destroy the whole world. I thought I was helping stop Pandora."

"Are you sure she was your only other muse? There aren't any more out there?"

"None. And I will never, ever have another muse other than Kate Beckett, so help me god."

"Jacinda?" Kate said.

"I never should have dated her. But I was hurt. The woman I loved, and still love, more than anyone or anything, lied to me. I thought you didn't love me and I was hurt. Badly hurt. I should have talked to you about it, and what I did was childish. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for anything I've ever done to hurt you, because I know I have. You've had too much pain in your life as it is, and I love you too much to want to do anything but take away your pain. Forgive me?"

Kate looked briefly at the floor, then kissed Castle. "There's nothing to forgive. I should have listened to my heart. You taught me to listen to my heart, Castle. And that has taken away more of my pain than I ever thought possible. Thank you."

"So, are you through punishing me for tonight?"

Kate smiled and looked at Castle through her eyelashes. "I don't know. I still have my handcuffs, you know."

"And maybe if you could replace the image of Kristina's boobs in my face with an image of your boobs in my face?"

"I'll think about it." She said, reaching for the handcuffs.