357. Chapter 357

AU After Demons

Episode 4.06

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I ain't afraid of no Castle owners. Rating: M Time: See above

"You were right, Castle. Matt Benton never left the McLaren House." As Kate stood up, she bumped into Castle who was standing right behind her. "Castle, you don't need to hover over me, all right? I'm a police detective. I can take care of myself."

"I'm not hovering over you." He said defensively.

"You certainly are." She snapped back at him. "And you do it all the time. I'm getting tired of it, Castle. I am not some helpless little girl who needs big, strong you to protect me. I can take care of myself."

"Oh! Like I've never taken care of you?" Castle was beginning to get angry. "I never saved your life? I never helped you?"

"Fine! You've helped me. Does that make your ego feel better? Can you stop now?"

"I don't do that because I need my ego stroked. I help you because I care for you. I care for you more than you know."

Caste realized he'd said way too much. "I should go." He turned and walked to the trapdoor, and let himself down. "I'll be in the car." He called over his shoulder as he headed for the front door. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. He thought to himself. All I need on top of a fight with Beckett is for her to find out how I really feel about her. She's told me she needs time. I cannot let her know. Who knows how she'd react.

"Castle! I'm going to need help getting down from here." She called to him, just as he reached the door. He's said too much. She thought. I can't just let him walk away from this. Like it or not, we have to talk, and talk seriously.

He stopped for a second, "Can't you just drop down?"

"Yeah! And I can just break my leg, too. Come back here."

As much as he hated to do it, he turned back.

"Okay, I'm going to lower myself part way down, when I do, grab me by my waist and lower me down. Okay?"

Please, please don't let me grab anything else when I put my arms around her.

Kate dropped lightly to the ground. When she did, she locked her arms around Castle's neck.

"Beckett…" He began.

"Castle, we need to talk." Having said that, Kate said nothing for a long time. Finally she spoke. "I've been having dreams, nightmares, really, ever since I was shot."

She said nothing again for a long time. I'm telling Castle the truth, just not the whole truth. "They're strange dreams. I'm at the cemetery, like I was. Sometimes I'm the one who's shot. But a lot of the time, it's someone else. The first time it wasn't me, it was Roy Montgomery. Even though it was his funeral, he was standing right there. He was shot and he still stood right there and told me that he'd stand with me. Other times, you're the one who's shot, or Ryan, or Espo, or Lanie. A couple of time's it's been my dad and once it was my mother. She stood right there where you stood and said what Montgomery said, that she'd stand by me. My mom was shot and she just stood there talking to me."

Kate was holding onto him tightly. Castle decided he could put his arms around her and hold her. "Kate, I'm not an expert, but nightmares, things like that, they happen after a traumatic event."

"I know." She said softly. "That's not what I need to talk to you about. In my dreams, sometimes you're kneeling right by me, talking to me as I lay there. And in my dream, you say something to me. You say something very important to me." She slid her hands down to his jacket and held on tightly. She looked up into his eyes. "Castle, I need for you to tell me. Did you say something important to me, and what was it?"

Castle looked into Kate's face. She wants to know. And I can't lie to her. Not now. I can't let her think it's just a dream. "I did tell you something important." He took a deep breath, "I told you that I love you, Kate."

Kate collapsed against him, resting her head against his chest. "Oh, god! It wasn't just a dream. Castle, I am so stupid. I've known what you said for months. It was right there and I thought it was just a dream. I thought I was dreaming about what I wanted and not what really happened. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. All I had to do was ask, just ask."

Castle stroked her hair. "Don't worry about it. After what you went through, as crazy as those dreams were, there's nothing for you to be sorry for."

She shook her head. "I made you wait for months because I didn't ask you."

"It's okay." He said, happy to just be holding her.

A door blew closed somewhere in the house, causing both of them to jump. "We have a murder to solve." Kate said, standing back. "We'll call CSU and when we get done, we'll go back to my place, okay?"

Later, they were at her place. Kate sat beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I meant what I said that day at the swings, after the book signing, Rick. I can't really be the person I want to be, I can't have the kind of relationship I want with you, I can't love you unreservedly, as long as my mom's case is unsolved. I wish I could make it otherwise. I know it's horribly unfair to you, but…I just can't."

"I understand. I know how her murder has driven you for years. We don't have to change a thing. I'll wait for as long as I have to for you."

"No!" She said loudly. "That's not what I meant, or what I want. I can't let us go on as if nothing's happened. As if nothing's changed. I want to be your girlfriend. I want us to be a couple." She lowered her voice. "I want us to be lovers." She stood, taking his hand and leading him to her bedroom.

Standing by her bed, he reached out for her. "No, Castle. So far, you've done all the work in this relationship. It's my turn now. I'll do everything." She started humming under her breath and dancing slowly. She began unbuttoning her blouse and let it drop to the floor. She turned around and undid her bra. It dropped to the floor as well. She turned to face him, but with her hands over her boobs. She smiled. "Like what you see so far?"

"I love what I see."

She laughed and turned around. She bent way over and took off her heels, then undid her belt and unzipped her slacks. She pushed them down and stepped out of them, wearing only her panties. Still facing away from him, she pushed them down and stepped out of them. When she turned around, she had one arm across her breasts and one between her legs. "Ready?" She whispered, then dropped her hands to her sides.

He nodded and tool a step forward.

"No. I said I'd do all the work. And I will." She unbuttoned his shirt, then pulled his tee shirt off over his head. She knelt to unlace his shoes, taking them and his socks off. She gently pushed him onto her bed, undid his belt and unzipped his pants, pulling them down. Finally, she pulled his boxers off. "You are ready, aren't you?" She teased.

"Never more ready." He said huskily.

"On the bed." She commanded.

Once he was prone, she straddled him. "Now, let me do all the work." She grasped his erection and lowered herself down on him. Both were more than ready and climaxed in minutes. Kate collapsed on top of him.

She found herself enfolded in his arms. One day, when we've been together for a long time, I'll tell Castle the truth, that I remembered what he said. But not now. There's no need.