304. Chapter 304

After Vampire Weekend

Episode 2.06

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: You can bite me if I say I own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above

Halloween 2009

Kate Beckett sat on her bed and thought about Castle's party. Damn that man. I just cannot get a handle on him. When I told him that I was going for sexy with my costume and opened my coat so the fake monster would pop out, I saw something. Oh, Castle can talk about his poker face all he wants, I know what I saw and it wasn't what I expected. I thought he'd be practically salivating to see me in something sexy. But in just that brief second, I saw he really didn't want to see me in something sexy. Or at least he didn't want to see me in something skimpy and slutty in front of everyone. I got the oddest feeling that he wanted to protect me. Okay, perhaps he just wanted to see me in something slutty by himself and not in front of everyone. I can handle the idea that Castle might want nothing more than to sleep with me. I can just ignore that. I can't handle the idea that he might want more. Castle is more than just a partner to me. He's a friend, sort of. How much more does he want? How much can I offer him?

Kate stood up and walked into her bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. I can't give Castle what he deserves. What any man would deserve in a long term relationship. My mother's murder has made me what I am today and all I am is a cop. I don't think I'll ever be anything else, and no man deserves a woman who can't put him first.

I need to go to bed.

Halloween 2010

"So Josh isn't in the country?" Castle asked. Could I possibly hope that he'll run into a hungry lion or an angry elephant?

Kate shook her head. "He's in Africa. And Gina couldn't make it?"

"No. Busy, busy, busy with Black Pawn. One of her writers, a western author, is having trouble with his latest book. He's decided he wants to be a serious writer and is writing about a cold blooded gunslinger having a crisis of conscience. At least she isn't here at my Halloween party complaining about my output, so there's a silver lining. I don't have to put up with the bitching."

"I'm sure she'll straighten everything out." Gina's his girlfriend and her not being here is a silver lining? What is going on with those two? And she's bitching about his writing? He shouldn't have to have a girlfriend who bitches at him and a partner who bitches at him. What am I thinking?

"Your glass is empty, Beckett. Would you like another white wine?"

She nodded. "Please." She watched Castle weave his way through the crowd of guests to the bar, stopping to chat briefly with his friends. The whole way to the motel, I had this image in my mind of Castle with a bullet in his head courtesy of 3XK. The relief I felt when I went through the door and found out he was alive was…overpowering. Dammnit! No! I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend. I cannot think this way. I can't.

She saw Castle coming back with her wine. I should go home. I really should. But she didn't.

Halloween 2011

"It's too bad you had to cancel the Halloween party, Castle."

Castle shook dramatically. "After being held hostage in a bank and thinking I was about to be blown to bits, there is no scary costume in the world that could even raise my blood pressure."

"At least we're having a good meal. From what I can see, Martha and Alexis have out done themselves."

"Hey, I helped, too."

She nodded. "You were a big help today." You've been more of a help to me than you know. You've taken a badly broken cop, a total mess, and turned me into something resembling a fully functioning human being. You said that you love me and I hope that you still do. You have no idea how badly I need you and how much I love you. It's all I can do to keep from throwing my arms around you and begging you to wait until I'm fully healed. But I'm still too damned hurt and too damned scared. Please, please wait for me.

Castle raised his glass in a toast to Beckett. "You were the bigger help today. Without you, Brandt would have gotten away clean." I don't know whether Beckett really remembers that I told her I love her or not. She must know by now that I love her. Everything I've done say that I love her. And I almost said something today. I really wanted for her to hear those words from me if I was going to be dead. The desire to tell her was almost overwhelming, and when she came in and cut the ties off of me, I damned near told her that I love her. Only Mother speaking up stopped me. That's probably a good thing. She needs to be ready.

"Castle, I think the meal is almost ready."

Halloween 2012

"Do you think the universe is sending me a message, Beckett? This is the second year in a row that I've not had my Halloween party."

Kate put her arms around him and held on tightly. "The Universe has no business using Jerry Tyson to send messages. And I couldn't stand to have a bunch of people around. I just want you to hold me and never let me go. Okay?"

"I don't know what I'd do without you, you know. I'd be dead or in prison if not for you." He kissed her gently on the forehead.

"You did as much to solve this as anyone, Castle. And don't forget Ryan and Esposito helped."

Castle laughed. "Yeah, Espo's probably mad at me because he didn't get a night of free food and booze and a chance to scope out some scantily clad chicks."

Kate ran her hand down his chest. "If you're interested in a scantily clad chick, I know a chick. She can get scantily clad pretty quickly."

Castle frowned. "Is this the chick that once promised me sexy and gave me scary?"

Kate stared at him. "Will you tell me something, Castle?"

"Anything."

"That first Halloween party, when I started to undo my coat, I saw something in your eyes. You didn't want me to be dressed like a slut, did you?"

"Never. I already knew you were amazing and I didn't want anything bad or uncomfortable to ever happen to you. I just wanted to make you happy."

She took his hand and led him to the bedroom. "Let me return the favor."

Halloween 2013

"Thanks, Sundance." Castle said.

"For what?" Kate said, taking off her pistol belt and starting on her blouse.

"Keeping me from tossing Pi out of the window."

Kate walked over and hugged the man she so loved. "I wouldn't want to have to try to cover up a murder, Butch."

"I just cannot see what Alexis sees in him. She's always been so responsible, so organized, so hard working. If there was a Nobel Prize for Underachieving, Pi would win it in a walk."

"Castle, when you go out on your own, you try different things. In high school and college I dated all kinds of guys that were definitely not for me. But in doing so, I found out what I did want and what I didn't want in a guy. From what I've heard, Alexis has always dated, well, male versions of her. Guys who worked hard to get into a good college, responsible, polite, headed for some responsible career with a wife and kids. She wants to see what's out there. Who's out there. It's a normal part of growing up. Remember, I dated some very inappropriate men."

Castle nodded. "Don't I know it? I mean, Sorenson?"

Kate slapped him lightly on the chest. "No, you. Super cop Kate Beckett date twice married playboy Rick Castle? Tell me how that could ever work?"

"Hey, it did work."

"You think?"

"Yes! I think."

Kate laughed and kissed him. "You just keep thinking, Butch. That's what you're good at."

Halloween 2014

"We still could have had a party, you know."

Castle shook his head. "No. I couldn't stand the thought that there would be people thinking, "Did he really leave her at the altar and is this kidnapping story just a face saver?" Or, "How can she stand there with him after what he did to her." Hell, I can barely understand why you're with me after what I did to you."

Kate put her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. "One, I stay because I am absolutely madly in love with you. Two, I investigated the kidnapping. It was real. I know what happened and I know you were kidnapped. End of discussion. Besides, none of our friends would ever think that about us. They know what happened."

"Not all of them. The police friends do. People I know from Black Pawn, or for that matter anywhere outside of the NYPD don't know the story. They can't know the story. We can't be broadcasting what we know about what really happened to the world. We can't let "them", whoever "they" are know how much we know. This is just one more thing I have to make up to you."

"Hey. You have nothing to make up to me."

Castle smiled at her." I am so lucky."

"We are so lucky."

Halloween 2015

Kate had gotten her costume off and was only wearing her bra and panties. "You should have been Sherlock Holmes. You're the genius who comes up with all of the odd, impossible theories. So I should have been Dr. John Watson."

Castle shook his head. "To begin with I'm the writer. And the writer is Dr. Watson. You are the detective, so you are the one who should have been Sherlock Holmes. You are the brilliant detective, after all."

"Perhaps I should have been the plodding detective. You know, Inspector Lestrade."

"My wife as Inspector Lestrade? As a writer, I can tell you that is wrong on so many levels."

Kate hugged her husband. "I can tell you what you're going to be next year."

"Oh, what?"

She took his hand and put it on her flat stomach. "Daddy."