246. Chapter 246

After Target

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: ABC would make me a target if I said I own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above

Kate Beckett took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She was frightened, no doubt about it. Not frightened for herself, but for her partner and the man she so loved. From deep in her mind, a thought floated to the surface. What will happen to Castle and me if something happens to Alexis? If she dies or is she simply disappears and is never seen again? Will Castle spend the rest of his life looking for her or her killers? After everything we've been through, will I finally lose him? She shook her head. That is not going to happen. We will get Alexis back and we will live happily ever after. I simply will not accept any other outcome.

Kate took out her key and opened the door to Castle's loft. The FBI agents looked up, but recognized her as a cop and went back to whatever they were doing. Martha smiled at her from the kitchen and pointed to Castle's office. "The office." She whispered.

Kate walked into his office to find him behind his desk, looking at his laptop. She walked over to him, leaned in and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Hey."

He looked up and gave her a brief smile. "Hey, yourself. Anything new on your end? Anything about Paris?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. Agent Harris called FBI Headquarters in DC, but hasn't heard anything back. This is not what anyone was expecting. Paris, I mean."

He nodded. "Me either. I've been on my laptop looking for…I have no idea what I'm looking for Kate. No idea at all." He turned to laptop off and closed it. "I'm just trying to pretend that I'm doing something useful instead of just sitting here doing nothing."

"I know what a great help you can be on a case, Castle. Don't sell yourself short. I don't."

He took her hand and squeezed. "Have I told you how much you mean to me? Especially right now?"

"Yes you have. And I love you, too, Castle."

Her pulled her onto his lap and held her, taking hope just from her presence. "Thank you."

"Always." She whispered.

They sat there for some ten minutes before Castle spoke again. "Are you hungry? We ordered some Chinese for the FBI, but Martha and I couldn't eat. Now I'm hungry."

"Chinese sounds great."

Castle led her by the hand into the kitchen and began taking cartons of food out of the refrigerator and heating them in the microwave. Rick, Kate and Martha sat at the kitchen island. They ate in silence.

"I was hungrier than I thought. "Castle said.

"Would anyone like some wine before bed?" Martha suggested.

Castle grinned. "Not me. I'm tired. I'm for bed." He turned to Kate.

"Not me either, Martha. I really should be going home."

Rick reached out and took her hand, pulling her into an embrace. "Kate, will you stay here tonight? I really need you right now. And if anyone calls you, or calls me, or calls the FBI over there, we'll all be right here. Please?"

"Of course. Why don't you head for bed? Since I don't have to drive, I think I will have a quick glass of wine with Martha. Okay?"

Castle nodded, then kissed Kate swiftly. "I'll see you in a bit."

Martha poured two glasses of red wine, handing one glass to Kate. "Katherine, thank you so much. Not just for staying here tonight, but for all that you've done on this case and for everything you've done for my son since they day you two met. You've changed him immeasurably, and for the better."

Kate blushed. "Martha, I know it's silly, but I keep feeling like I should apologize to you and Castle for how the kidnaping investigation has gone. Castle keeps telling me I'm remarkable, the best detective in the NYPD, but right now I feel completely inadequate. Helpless. Useless."

Martha frowned. "Katherine, you are no such thing. Richard was sitting in his office coming totally unglued in front of his computer and doing nothing useful. As soon as you went in there, he snapped out of it. He realized he needed food and sleep and he actually did something useful. Perhaps nothing earth shaking, but useful. You have done more for Richard than anyone in his life, including me. He's a much better man now and I he owes all of that to you. Again, thank you."

Kate shook her head. "There are times when I felt I was doing as much damage to Castle as anything else. I realized early on that I was interested in Castle, very interested. But I pushed him away. For one, he was this world famous author, millionaire playboy, and as I found out, world class father. I was just some cop obsessed by my mom's case. For the longest time, I never thought that Castle was as interested in me as I was in him. Even when I knew he loved me, and I knew I loved him, I lied to him. I just couldn't believe it would ever work out."

Kate took another sip of wine. "Plus, there was my mom's case. I knew I couldn't love Castle as he deserved to be loved. I couldn't love him unconditionally, putting him first, as long as my mom's case was unsolved."

"Obviously things changed." Martha said with a smile.

Kate smiled back. "Obviously. When I came here to the loft that night, I realized that I loved Castle unconditionally. I decided that I'd accept any relationship he wanted, whether it was just another conquest, a long term affair, or…forever. I just wanted Rick for as long as I could keep him."

"And I was also figuring out that if I wanted to solve my mom's case, I was a lot better off with Castle with me than I would be alone. But it took a longtime for me to accept that. And in the meantime, I…To use Castle's phrase…hid in relationships with men I didn't love. I didn't love Demming or Josh, but I'm sure I put Rick through hell while I was with them. I never should have been with either of them."

"Katherine, that's all in the past. Just think about the future, dear. And your future is in bed waiting for you."

Kate finished her wine and smiled at Martha. "Good idea. Thanks, Martha."

Kate went into the bathroom and quickly got ready for bed. She tip toed out and quietly slipped into the bed, so as not to wake Castle.

"Been waiting for you."

"Did I wake you up?" She slid as close to him as she could manage.

"No. I was waiting for you. I just need to tell you how much I love you. And that you're right. We'll get through this."

"I love you, too. And we will get through this. Good night, love.'

"Good night."