121. Chapter 121

After Once Upon a Crime, Again

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I'll huff, and I'll puff and I'll deny I own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Kate held Rick's hand tightly while watching Martha's one woman program. But her mind was racing. Even holding his hand is lying to him in a way. After all this time, I should be resting my head on his shoulder, giving him a little kiss and then going off to bed with him when Martha's show is over. But I won't be doing that. Not tonight, anyway.

I've worked with lies ever since I became a cop. It goes with the job. But before this, lies hurt other people. The worst some murderer's lies did to me was make me work harder. This is different. Way different. I saw how Sophia Turner's lies hurt Castle. I've never seen him that way. He'll hate me if he ever finds out how I've lied to him. I cannot let that happen. I'm getting close now. The walls are coming down. I've made some real progress with Dr. Burke. I know I have. All I have to do is hold on for a little while longer. Once I can tell Castle that I love him, everything will be fine. He'll never need to know about my lies. He was right. Lies are like time bombs. I told him that eventually they explode. Why the hell did I say something so stupid? I can't let this lie explode and destroy everything. I won't let it happen.

Kate squeezed Rick's hand and got an answering squeeze. She relaxed. She felt better. Castle said that we all need fairy tales. My take on the fairy tales was that they were horror stories. What fairy tales do Castle and I bring to mind? Goldilocks and the three bears? Sure. I was in one man's bed and but I quickly found it wasn't right and I left. Then to another man's bed. It was better and I stayed there longer, but eventually I had to leave. There's another man's bed not fifty feet from me that I long to be in, but I'm still too frightened to go there. No, I'm not Goldilocks.

The three little pigs? That makes Castle the big, bad wolf. Except that he's going to huff and puff and blow the walls around me down. He is doing his best. He's been doing his best for three years now. He must love me to put up with everything he's put up from me for those years. I can't let my big, bad wolf down. I can't fail him.

Snow White? No, I'm not the fairest of them all. Castle does say I'm remarkable, but he's known more beautiful women than me. But it wasn't Snow White's beauty that made her special, was it? It was her innocence and purity. No, I'm not innocent or pure, but I know I can be a good wife for Castle.

Esposito had a different take on fairy tales. He said that if you did the right thing, you got your happy ending. Well, I definitely want my happy ending. How about Sleeping Beauty? I laughed at Castle for comparing himself to Prince Charming, but I was asleep, not really a full human being since I was nineteen. Then Castle came along and I woke up. He even kissed me that night when we saved Ryan and Esposito. That did wake me up. I realized that there was something with Castle that excited me, and not just sexually. We haven't kissed since. Such a simple thing, a kiss. I should be able to kiss Castle. I want to kiss him. I need to kiss him. I will kiss him. One day and one day soon, I'll grab that ruggedly handsome partner of mine and kiss him senseless! I will!

Or Hansel and Gretel? Castle and I do end up going into some every odd houses. We do find evil people in them and we do sometimes kill them. At the very least, we put them in prison. Then we find our way back to our respective homes and start all over again the next day. No! That's the wrong fairy tale for us. We should come back to our home.

Little Red Riding Hood? Now that's a good one. I've been swallowed whole by a conspiracy, not a wolf. Will Castle, my brave woodsman, come in time to cut open the conspiracy and save me? He's already saved me. He's saved not just my life, but my happiness. Richard Castle, I will never, ever tell you this, but you are my Prince Charming, even if sometimes accuse you of being the Beast to my Beauty.

Castle found himself enjoying having Beckett hold his hand, even if the one woman show he was enduring was anything but pleasant. Talk about your fairy tales. This is the Brothers Very Grim, Indeed. It's one thing for my mom to pretend that she was the greatest thing to hit Broadway since the invention of neon lights. But why does she have to act like all of my accomplishments were hers and hers alone. I wrote all of those books, dammit! Okay, her take on Meredith is accurate enough. I never should have married her and Mom told me that. Oh, did she ever tell me that! And the same with Gina. I'll admit that Gina was a huge mistake. I won't admit that to Mom, but I do admit it.

A sudden, very unpleasant thought ran through Rick's mind. I should have my attorney look over the script to this fantasy. Neither Meredith, nor Gina will like how they're portrayed and the last thing I need is a lawsuit for slander or libel against Martha that I'll have to pay the lawyers for.

Rick's train of thought was broken when Kate squeezed his hand. He squeezed back. At least Martha hasn't taken credit for Beckett. I have helped her. I'm sure of it. I actually think she's starting to break down those damned walls of hers. One day we'll be together. I know it. One day soon I'll tell Kate Becket that I love her, again.

Both Martha and Alexis watched out of the corner of their eyes. Rick and Kate were holding hands. They both smiled at the couple that hadn't quite become a couple. Yet.