12. Chapter 12

After A Rose for Ever After

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Yes, I absolutely do not own Castle. Rating: K+ Time: See above.

Kate Beckett walked into her apartment, slamming the door behind her. She threw her coat onto the couch, walked to her kitchen, walked back and then screamed at no one, "I am NOT jealous of Kyra Blaine and Castle. I am not!"

Kate shook her head and laughed bitterly. "I'm losing it. I really am." She walked to her bedroom and threw herself down on the bed, trying to order her thoughts. She kept talking to herself. It seemed easier that way to control her racing thoughts. "I was upset when I saw how he reacted to Kyra. Of course I was upset. Castle wears his heart on his sleeve, which won't work for a cop. They hadn't seen each other for, what, twenty years, and it was like they had just been apart for minutes. I could see right away he still cared for her. Cared a lot. He said she was the one that got away. In his dedication he said she made the stars shine for him. I knew that already. Well, I mean I had read the dedication when I read his book. But seeing him and Kyra Blaine in the flesh was different."

Kate crossed her arms over her chest, then put them back at her side, then crossed her legs. She couldn't seem to find a comfortable position. "She's different. Not what I expected from Castle's ex. Meredith is what I'd expect: Shallow and self-absorbed. Kyra has depth. She's a complex person. Smart. Competent. She didn't fall apart when there was a murder. She was upset, but she kept it together."

"And Castle was different with her. He was still in love with her, I know it. When I found them with the cake, what were they doing? What would they have done if I hadn't shown up?" Kate had a mental picture of Castle and Kyra, her wedding gown being pushed down to expose her breasts to Castle's…

"No! I won't think about that." She fumed. "But he couldn't wait to accuse Greg of murdering Sophie. He wanted Greg to be the murderer so he and Kyra could….Could what? He didn't try to stop Kyra from marrying Greg once he was cleared. He and Greg did get in each other's faces when we arrested his Uncle Teddy. He accused Castle of wanting to get into Kyra's pants. Castle didn't deny it."

Kate sat and fumed for a minute. "He didn't need to deny it, of course. I saw the pictures of them. He did kiss her, but then they broke the clinch and talked some more. They went home. Him to his loft, and she to her hotel. If he'd wanted more, he would have tried for more. But he didn't."

Another thought crossed her mind. "Lanie and Kyra. What were they talking about? "I can see it, even if you can't." She mimicked Lanie's voice. "And Kyra, "He's all yours." They don't know me at all, even Lanie, who should."

Kate thought back to the two times she'd seen Castle and Kyra kiss. She dredged up a memory she'd pushed away. That sharp, cold twisting in her gut when she first saw the pictures of the kiss on the rooftop. The same horrible feeling when she leaned in to kiss him in the station, but fortunately only kissed his cheek.

The horrible feeling came over her. She had been jealous. She saw the scene again in her mind, but instead of Kyra, she was with Rick on the roof, they were kissing each other passionately.

"Oh, my God! Am I falling for Castle?"

Rick Castle sat in his darkened office, slowly drinking his Scotch. His mother stuck her head into the office.

"It's all for the best, kiddo. It's been over twenty years. She loves Greg, not you. You just would have caused a lot of trouble if you'd gone after her. Mostly for you."

Castle smiled ruefully. "I know, mom. I was just sitting here thinking about what it was like with Kyra. It was different from when I was with Meredith or Gina. We were a team. Even just sitting there in her old apartment, me writing and her studying, we were connected."

"Okay, but don't spend too much time with your friend, Johnny Walker. Good night."

"And good night to you, mom."

Castle thought back to his time with Kyra. For a while they had been a team. One soul in two bodies. Just like him and Beckett. He sat bolt upright in his chair. "What? Where did that come from?" He stared at his Scotch glass, as if it had spoken and not him. "Beckett? She's nothing like Kyra."

He sat there thinking. He even cautiously took another sip of Scotch. Kyra was smart, hardworking, dedicated, passionate and fun. Beckett was….She wasn't fun, that was for sure. "But you do enjoy being with her. You enjoy her company. He thought. Bad comparison, anyway. Kate had her life turned upside down and inside out when she was nineteen. Her mom was murdered and her dad turned to the booze for five years. She's probably lucky to be in as good a shape as she is. Lucky, hell! She's what she is because she's Kate Beckett. She's one kick-ass cop and nothing stops her. Nothing. We are a team, though. And we complete each other's sentences, we think of the same thing at the same time, we are connected.

Castle put down his Scotch. "Am I falling for Beckett?"