1052. Chapter 1052

After Boom

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: And, BOOM! I don't own this. Rating: K Time: Episode 2.18, but slightly AU.

She woke fully to the sound of her phone.

"Beckett."

She listened and then shook Castle awake. "Get up. We have a body drop and I need my partner. First one done in the bathroom makes coffee." She said as she hopped out of bed and ran upstairs.

Kate had finished brewing coffee by the time Castle came out to join her.

"Coffee's made. You ready to go?"

"No, but I'm your partner, so I'll go." He grumped.

Once at the crime scene, Esposito briefed them.

"Vic is Rachel Blum, age eighty-one. The chain lock on the door is busted, so I figure the perp knocked and when she opened the door, he pushed his way in. She has a bruise on her face consistent with being hit by the butt of an automatic pistol. She looks like she tried to crawl to the landline phone and was shot in the back for her trouble. The bruise and the GSW indicates a small caliber weapon."

Beckett looked around the room. It was a small, but very neat one-bedroom apartment. Nothing of value seemed to be missing or even visible. "Any ideas as to why she was picked?"

"Drugs." Lanie said, coming in from the bedroom.

"This old lady was a drug dealer?" Kate said, surprised.

Lanie shook her head. "Cancer. She has copies of her medical records by her bed. They indicate she was on two types of narcotic pain killer. Her other drugs are here. But the pain killers are gone."

The investigation proceeded normally. Neighbors were canvassed, next of kin were located, her doctor was contacted, Lanie proceeded with her examination and had the body removed, and CSU swept the apartment. Through all of this, Kate noticed that Rick made none of his usual odd theories involving spies or extraterrestrials. In fact, he only spoke when spoken to and then said as little as possible.

"Something wrong with Castle?" Espo asked when he and Beckett were alone in the hallway.

"He's still upset about killing Dunn."

Espo nodded. "Yeah, your first kill is always hard."

"You've been through this before?"

"Yeah. Want me to talk to Castle?"

"Please. I thought he'd come out of it once he had a good night's sleep and a chance to get some perspective. But he hasn't. Can you wait until we get back to the precinct and you can get him alone?"

"No problem."

Later that afternoon, Espo caught up with Castle as he made a cup of coffee in the break room.

"You look like you're having a bad time with what happened with Dunn."

Castle said nothing for a minute. "That obvious?"

"Oh, yeah. Way obvious. I had trouble with my first kill, too. It was on my first tour in Iraq. Some jihadi stuck his head up from on top of a roof and got ready to shoot up my squad with an AK 47. I dropped him. We checked him for his ID and any intel he might have had. He was nineteen, same age as me. He was an engineering student at some local college. I always wondered what had happened to him. Was he a hard core jihadi who would have gone on to join the Islamic State? Was he just some dumb kid whose friends talked him into it? What would he have done, or not done, if he hadn't died that day? I never found out, of course. But we know what Scott Dunn would have done had he lived."

Castle nodded and grinned. "Did Beckett put you up to this?"

"She asked me to talk to you, but I saw you were in trouble and I would have talked to you eventually."

"Thanks for your concern, and I'll thank Beckett, but I'll have to work through this all by myself, okay?"

"Okay. But if you need anything, anything at all, just ask."

They got back to the loft and ordered out again. Over dinner, Castle started and stopped trying to talk to Beckett, but didn't get a word out. Finally, he spoke. "You know I pride myself on my research, right?"

Kate grinned. "As the subject of much of your research, I'm well aware of that."

"My characters, Derrick Storm, Clara Strike, and others have killed people, fictionally. I'm not by nature a violent person. I was in two fights growing up. One was in grade school and involved a lot of pushing and shoving and the other was in high school. He hit me once, I hit him once and the teachers broke it up."

"So, I did research. That's what I've been looking at on my laptop, the records I have from people I talked to. People who'd killed. One was an ex-cop who'd accidentally shot a little girl in a gun battle with some thugs. It ruined his life. Although he was found blameless in the shooting, he resigned and was squatting on Federal land, pretty much staying drunk. His family and his cop friends looked after him. It was a good thing I recorded the conversation, because he wouldn't talk unless I drank, too. We both got pretty wasted."

Kate interrupted. "That's nothing like what happened with you."

"And I'm not planning on leaving the loft behind and squatting out in the woods somewhere."

"Glad to hear it. Since I don't have a place to live, I'd have to go with you." She said with a smile.

"Touché, Detective Beckett. But to get back on point. I once talked to a British sniper. He'd shot people all over the world. And to him, it was just another day at the office. The other people I talked to were somewhere in between. Killing bothered them, but it didn't destroy their lives. So, I wrote most of my killers that way. Upset at first, but they got over it."

"Castle, just so you know, when I cried after killing Dick Coonan, a small part of it was because he took whatever knowledge he had of my mom's death with him. By far, the largest part of it was because it was my first kill. But I knew I'd have to kill him. As a cop, I couldn't let a contract killer walk out of the precinct with a hostage. No matter what he knew, I would have killed him a hundred times, a thousand times. I still would."

He smiled at her. "And I'd kill Dunn a thousand times to save you, Beckett."

For a second, they smiled at each other.

"Before I forget, thanks for having Espo talk to me. It did help. But I still have to work through this by myself, Beckett. Please don't think I don't appreciate everything you've done me over this, but killing someone in real life is so much different….I just didn't know….And I still don't know.."

Kate got up, walked around the table and gave Castle a hug. "If you need anything, anything at all, just let me know. Okay."

"Okay."

When Castle was ready for bed, he was surprised to find Beckett in his bed, still under the duvet but on top of the blanket.

"I end up here anyway, Castle. If I start out here, with any luck we won't both end up being woken up in the middle of the night."

"Beckett, I'm sorry. I wish…"

"Don't worry about it. Believe me, I'd rather do this than be dead."

When they arrived at the precinct the next morning, Captain Montgomery announced that the killer of Mrs. Blum had been caught.

"The dumb punk tried to sell the stolen narcotics to an undercover Fed. The prescription bottles have her name on them and he had a .25 caliber pistol on him. We sent it to ballistics, but it would be nice to have a confession. Beckett, Castle, would you care to do the honors?"

She looked at her partner. "Castle?"

"Lead the way, Beckett."

It took a while, but the killer really had no chance against both Rick and Kate. Eventually, he confessed.

That night, Castle decided to cook pasta carbonara. Beckett made a salad. After dinner, Rick did some writing and Kate read a historical novel about Englishmen during the Hundred Years War that was by one of her favorite mystery authors.

When it was time for bed, Rick came out of his bathroom and found Beckett already in bed. She pushed back the covers to show that she was completely naked.

Castle stopped dead in his tracks. "Beckett, I won't lie to you. This is something I've dreamed of, but not like this. You don't owe me anything for saving your life."

"Rick, this isn't about you saving my life. Not entirely. Will you please get in bed with me?" Kate pulled the covers back up over herself.

He hesitated, then got in bed, staying as far on his side as he could.

"My life changed drastically when my mom was murdered. I gave up my dreams of being a lawyer and became a cop. And I never wanted to hurt the way I had when she died, so I put a wall up to keep people out. If I didn't allow myself to care, I'd never get hurt again. But I gave up something else I had wanted badly as well. I always wanted to be just like my mom. I'd have a great career, and a great husband and great kids. I'd do all the things with my daughter that my mom and I had done." Kate smiled softly. "Before I left for Stanford, my dad had to go to Philadelphia for a deposition. My mom allowed me to have a glass of wine with her and she told me all about her college days and law school." She looked Castle in the eye. "And those are stories you will never hear."

"I wouldn't dream of asking." He said.

"When I was there on the floor of that warehouse with Dunn looking down the barrel of his gun at me, I absolutely knew I was going to die. And I had an epiphany."

"It's so cool that you know that word."

"Your literary example hasn't been in vain, Castle. It's what alcoholics call a moment of clarity."

"Wait! Is that from your dad or Jules Winnfield?"

"Both, now let me continue."

"Please do."

"I knew I was going to die and I realized that what I'd miss most about being dead was not that I'd never find out who ordered Coonan to kill my mother. It wasn't not being able to get closure for all the people who lost a loved one to murder. It was that I was never going to be anything but a cop. I've thought a lot about it since that moment. I've decided I don't want to end up as an old lady with a houseful of cats, all named Castle, telling them about what a good cop I had been. I want to tell the cats that I had some fun in my life. I want to tell that about my life with Rick Castle." She moved closer to Castle. "Rick, I'm not stupid or naïve. I know that in six months you'll have moved on and I'll have a broken heart. But at least I'll have those six months."

She reached under the covers and grabbed his erection. "Have I convinced you?" She teased." I do believe I have."

SIX MONTHS LATER

He knocked on her door and heard the clicking of her high heels as she headed for the door. Kate opened the door and let him in. As soon as he was inside, he swept her into a hug.

"The dinner's going to be late. I just put the main dish in the oven."

"What happened?" He asked.

"The Peterson case. His lawyer has filed a bunch of totally bullshit motions and I had to go over some of them with the DA's office."

"But we got Peterson dead to rights?"

"And his lawyer knows it to, so he's trying to bury the DA in motions in the hope that the DA will get tired and offer a deal. It won't work, though."

"Good. But, since you have some time, I got you something." He reached into his coat pocket and brought out an oblong jewelry box. "Open it."

She did. Inside was a gold heart on a chain. She read the inscription. "Castle plus Beckett equals Caskett. We're Caskett now?"

"Sure, like Brangelina. Catchy, isn't it?"

"I guess. But if we're Caskett, what are Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook?"

"Nookie, of course."

"And to think I once didn't like Nikki Heat."

"Turn it over and read the back."

She did. "Six months. Castle, you're giving me a present for the sixth month anniversary of the first time we had sex?"

"No, Beckett. Do you remember? You said that in six months I'd have moved on and you'd have a broken heart. We'll, here I am. How's your heart?"

"Better than it's been in a long time."

He pulled her close. "But I do have something I have to tell you."

"You're dumping me after six months and one day?" She said with mock severity.

"Never." He kissed the top of her head. "Do you remember the trouble I was having after I killed Scott Dunn?"

"Sure. You felt terrible."

"No, I didn't. I enjoyed killing Dunn. I wished I could have killed him more slowly and killed him over and over. The feeling was one of triumph, exaltation. It was almost…sexual. It was absolutely the last feeling I'd have thought I'd have after killing someone. As you know, I was shocked. I couldn't believe my reaction. I've been wrestling with this for the last six months. I can only hope that my reaction was because I saved your life. That means the world to me, but I keep asking myself, what kind of a man kills another and feels like that?"

Kate leaned her head on his chest. "The man that I love."

"The man who loves you."

THE END

Author's note: Yes, there will be more sequels to my various stories as soon as I write them. I'm working on After A Deadly Game and I have A Merry Casketty Christmas figured out in my head.

Question: Does anyone have any idea what book or books Kate might have been reading by a famous mystery writer about Englishmen in the Hundred Years War?