Chapter Fifty One: Prepare for the Unknown

"Ten more days before the Cathols rain death from the sky," Ronin said to his reflection.

Ronin sighed heavily as he took stock of his situation, considering what everyone was doing, his listlessness growing by the second.

He was alone for the first time since Moira had spoken to him, she'd integrated herself into their building systems and was off helping Silas with some project.

Scalpel and Delta were looking over the logistics for the infirmary and getting ready to gather more resources as needed.

Mira and Azue had taken to training together in the tunnels where nobody could be hurt by their unusual powers, something Sellius had taken to watching in the hopes of learning something new.

Everyone had something to do except for Ronin.

As hard as he tried, he couldn't find anything to work on that he felt would make much of a difference in what was to come.

"Are you afraid to die?" the man had asked him in the Full Moon.

Watching Trigger getting impaled didn't fill him with fear, even though he knew it was very likely he'd face a similar threat if he pissed off Jet too much.

The Guildless were in a panic as Trigger's personal fight with the Cathols spilled over onto the innocents he'd once wanted to protect.

The city itself seemed to pulse with chaos, and for all he knew and could do, Ronin was powerless to stop it.

As often as he'd been forced to face it, he wasn't ready to accept the fact that he simply could do nothing to stop this.

Burning Blood, Jet, the steam-bound warrior, so many more times he'd almost died since coming to the city.

Thinking back farther, he realized that this feeling had been growing in him since the Bureau had been wiped out by the man in white, Daruik.

How long had it been since he could sit and just work on a project?

It felt like it'd been years, decades.

Ronin felt older, like he'd lived a dozen lifetimes.

"It's a hard feeling to choke down, isn't it, that feeling of powerlessness," a familiar voice said from behind him.

Turning around rapidly, Ronin saw Marcus sitting in his chair at his desk with his head in his hands.

The information that Angel had provided hadn't given any concrete results, but there were signs of Marcus all around the city.

People who seemed to remember someone who looked like him, small offices set up in a variety of areas with ties to almost all the various guilds, but he'd never found him, but here he was in front of him.

A hundred questions raced through his mind, but before he could say anything, Marcus said, his voice tired, "Looks like you found something other than research to care about."

 Ronin, despite himself, let out a little laugh and said, "Yeah...looks like you're right."

Sitting at the desk, across from Marcus, he said, "I thought you were dead."

Marcus smiled wryly and said, "I can't go back on a deal."

Looking at the man he'd worried about for so long, he asked, "You're a hard man to find, Marcus."

Shrugging, he responded, "It's a skill that took a long time to hone."

"I suppose you're here to give me some sage advice and disappear," Ronin said quietly.

Looking at his old student, Marcus said, "Not much advice I can give here, is there? You're at the center of a war you wanted no part of and there's not much to do besides wait."

Ronin looked at him curiously and said, "Sounds like you have a little experience with this."

 Chuckling to himself, Marcus responded, "Yeah, I've been in your position a few times, but those are pretty long stories, a little too long for right now."

 Ronin scratched at his desk for a second and asked, "Do you have any idea what this feeling is?"

 "Little vague, don't you think? But, yeah, I have an idea of what you mean. It's only natural for a leader to be unsure of what road to pick when every path seems futile."

Cocking his head a bit, Ronin asked, "What do you mean?"

 Marcus leaned forward and said, "The people who follow you all have their individual roles to fill. Information, combat, medical, they all focus on the various aspects of those things, and can do so because they trust the person leading them to make the best choices they can."

Ronin sat up in his chair and said, "So the best thing for me to do is to focus on finding a path for us?"

Marcus nodded and said, "These people will follow you to the ends of the earth, they'll fight and die for you, help you pick up the pieces when you get there and smile as you all limp your way home, it's your job to get them there in the first place."

Ronin understood and asked, "It's not like doing missions, is it?"

 "What, war? No. Nothing like it. Anything can happen in war, literally anything. A hundred thousand variables with their own variables that factor in on themselves into the millions with no real way to control them. No war isn't like a mission, but there's no reason to let that deter you," Marcus said as he stood up.

Walking over to the window, Marcus continued, "In this city there are so many powerful people, far stronger than you are personally, but you're not alone, are you? Not to mention, despite your power, that's not who you are, is it?"

 Ronin tapped his desk and said, "I've tried figuring out a way to stop this all from happening, but I can't come up with anything."

Marcus chuckled and said, "That's because you can't stop it. This war was coming whether you were here or not, there's a change in the air Ronin that had nothing to do with the Ghosts getting here."

"So what should we do?" Ronin asked.

Marcus shrugged and said, "There're a lot of choices to make here. You can't stop the war, but you can avoid it entirely, by leaving. You can fight or you can leave, you could even die."

"I don't like any of those choices, Marcus," Ronin said, tracing some wood grain with his finger.

Marcus walked over and put his hand on Ronin's shoulder and said, "You seem like you've got something else on your mind."

Sighing deeply, Ronin said, "I've been getting this feeling, worse than when we first met, that something about me is wrong…"

Marcus nodded and said, "I figured you'd have to face that at some point."

 "I just...I'm not like Jet, I don't kill for fun...I don't find any intrinsic fun in combat or anything like that...I just want to do my research in peace."

Marcus pulled a chair up to Ronin and sat down, saying, "I'm not going to bullshit you here, Ronin. The fact that you kill makes you unlike most people, the fact that you can turn your ideas into reality and refuse to stop until it happens makes you unlike everyone else. Look...when you joined the Bureau, you explained to me that your father was...well..cruel. After remarrying, his new wife only made it worse, and I understand your frustration with the feeling of not being like other people, but that doesn't change who or what you are."

 "What am I, Marcus?"

 Marcus punched his shoulder, hard, and said, "You're a good man. A man I'm proud to call my friend. You've made mistakes and missteps, but who doesn't? The farther you fall, the harder you have to fight to get back up, right?"

Ronin nodded and asked, "Think you'll be able to stick around for a while?"

Marcus shook his head and said, "A little haloed friend of ours told me you may be having a hard time. Asked me to come see you."

Angel had specifically asked Marcus to come see Ronin, but he couldn't think of why that might be.

"Why?"

 Marcus laughed and said, "She's taking something of a liking to you, at least as much as a shut in like her does that kind of thing."

"Shut in?"

 Marcus nodded and said, "She's pretty much the most dangerous gamer in the city, in more ways than one."

Moving to leave the room through the window, Marcus said, "Oh and one more thing, Ronin...don't be afraid to be part of something bigger than you. I know groups haven't really worked out for you, not really your thing, but you're a different person now than you were years ago."

 Opening and dropping out of the window, Ronin ran to see him land, only to see Marcus leaping from building to building as fast as anything else he'd seen here in the city.

 Smiling despite himself, Ronin patted his cheeks and said, "I've got work to do."