15. Chapter 15

Luna Loud found herself between a rock, and a hard place. Metaphorically speaking, that was. In actuality, she found herself caught between the interior of Vanzilla, and Lincoln, and while Vanzilla certainly met both the spirit and the letter of the phrase, Lincoln most certainly did not.

He was...not soft exactly, the human body had entirely too many fiddly bits to meet that descriptor, but the sensation of his body pressing against hers was...comforting. That seemed to be an apt descriptor. In other circumstances, she would find the experience to be extremely pleasur...COMFORTABLE. She would find herself COMFORTED by the fact that their bodies were within such physical proximity, that his being with her was a simple indisputable fact, as undeniable as the air she breathed.

The issue was this was no mere sibling cuddle, which had always been a regular occurrence among the members of the Loud family. Here, Lincoln, wearing an expression of profound embarrassment, was periodically being shoved into her by the third member of their impromptu cuddle-huddle.

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssss!" Hissed Sam, sitting opposite Luna, while still being Lincoln adjacent.

The blonde girl was employing what could generously be called a stage whisper, and Luna found herself genuinely surprised that her girlfriend's antics had failed to draw the attention of anyone else in the car. Wait, scratch that, Lynn was glaring at them again. Boy, that wasn't going to be fun to deal with.

It wasn't that Luna didn't appreciate her girlfriend's attempts to help her spend more time with her little bro, because she did. But the plan had initially started off as a relatively simple scheme to get in some more quality time together, and now Sam had dropped this bombshell on her about marriage, and kids, and something about waffles.

"I will MAKE you waffles!" Luna had exclaimed, desperately trying to get a handle on the conversation.

"It's not the same without the special cream, LUNA!" she'd shrieked in response, further clouding the issue.

Luna let out a soft sigh, and wracked her brain, trying to figure out how the simple act of dressing up as the spiritually incestuous love interest to her little brother's wish fulfillment, self-insert character had managed to make things so complicated.

several weeks earlier...

Luna hummed happily to herself as she slipped into her room, and quietly closed the door behind her. Solitude was a rare thing in the Loud House, and she wanted to hold onto her good cheer for just a while longer.

"Somebody looks happy." Came a decidedly not-Luan voice from further into the room, causing Luna to jump in surprise. It was at this point that she saw the face of her girlfriend peering down at her from the top bunk, grinning like the proverbial canary-eating cat.

Luna blushed and was about to give an embarrassed, non-committal reply when she noticed the band-aids that had been liberally applied to other girl's face.

"Dude, what the heck happened to you?" She asked, concerned.

"Oh, this," Sam said, waving her hand dismissively. "I had a little accident, that's why I couldn't make it to the restaurant. But enough about me, you look like you had a good time regardless. So get your cute little butt up here and tell me all about it!"

Luna shrugged, then acquiesced, kicking off her boots before climbing up to her bed and sliding into her girlfriend's waiting embrace.

"So...?" Sam prompted impatiently, settling into the role of the big spoon to Luna's little spoon.

Luna frowned as she saw even more band-aids crisscrossing up and down the girl's arms.

"Sam, are you sure you're okay? It's a little late, but I'm sure Lisa'd be cool with giving you a once-over."

"It's fine Lunes" Sam replied with a roll of her eyes, I just had a little trouble with some dog...err, that is to say I'm dog tired. Haha"

Luna tried to turn around so she could examine the girl more thoroughly, but Sam tightened her grip, preventing Luna from being able to angle herself properly. Eventually, she gave up. Clearly, Sam didn't want to talk about whatever had happened to her.

"Well" she began, "I was a little bummed that you didn't show, especially since this was your idea, but Lincoln was there, so it wasn't a total loss."

"Ooooh." Sam cooed in response, "That sounds great."

"It actually was," Luna said, smiling fondly at the memory.

Then she frowned again. "Actually, it was kinda weird that he was there to begin with. I remember there had been something that bothered me about that..."

"Probably nothing important," Sam said quickly, interrupting her train of thought.

"Now come on!" the blonde girl pressed, "Tell me about your daaaaa...y. Your day. With your little brother."

"It was fun," said Luna. "Can't remember the last time me and the little dude had some alone time. The waiter was kinda weird..."

This provoked a bout of nervous coughing from Sam, but she motioned for Luna to continue.

"...So yeah." Luna continued, warily. "The waiter was a little weird, but the scenery was nice, and the food was good. Lincoln and I...talked. We just talked for the first time in I can't remember how long, it was...nice.

"Eeee!" Sam squealed, causing Luna to look at her in surprise.

"...I just think it's really nice that you and your brother are getting along. Continue!"

"...Right," said Luna. "So yeah, good food, good company, then the waiter started singing this really nice song..." Luna blushed, as memories of that particular part of the night came back to her.

"And then?" Sam prompted.

"Aaand then we went and got ice cream." Luna said, hurriedly.

"Ooh. Tell me about that."

"Nothing much to tell," Luna said, shrugging her shoulders. "We got a couple of sweet treats. Some jerk wasn't looking where he was going and he slammed into the counter with all the toppings, sent them all flying."

"Wow."

"Yeah," Luna said, smiling to herself. "Little bro got a face full of sprinkles. Apparently inhaled a bunch of them too, because he started choking."

"Oh no!"

"Yeah, that part wasn't great," Luna said, frowning. "This big, red-headed bimbo tried to give him mouth to mouth."

"Big how?" Sam asked.

"As in, she can reach all the shelves in her house," Luna replied, annoyed. "And from a certain angle, you might mistake her for a shelf."

"She sounds hot." Sam opined.

"She wasn't so great. Little bro could do way better."

"I dunno Lunes, I'm pretty sure Linc's got a thing for tall girls. He's got that poster way in the back of his closet, the one with that really tall blonde girl..."

"Not this one!" Luna growled. "Besides, there's such a thing as too tall."

"Alright," Sam said with an amused roll of her eyes. "So then what happened?"

"Well, some of the employees pulled me off of her..."

"Hot."

"Shut up," Luna said, smacking her girlfriend lightly on the arm. "They pulled me off Bitchfoot, and then Lincoln coughed up a big pile of sprinkles."

"Oh good, sounds like he managed to pass them naturally."

"Yeah..." Luna replied, trailing off, still bothered by the memory.

Suddenly, Luna felt Sam's breath against her neck.

"Why does that bother you so much, Luna? Sounds like she was just trying to help Lincoln," she asked, murmuring softly into Luna's ear.

"He didn't need that kind of help," Luna muttered.

"What kind of help?"

"The kind that involves her putting her lips all over my little bro's mouth!"

Sam hemmed sympathetically. "Well, I'm sorry to break this to you, Luna, but Lincoln's growing up to be a cute little dude. Girls are going to be a thing that happens to him, and it's only going to get worse as he gets older.

"But I don't want that!" Luna exclaimed, glumly.

She paused for a moment, to reflect on her words.

"Am I being a bad sister?" She asked. "I mean, I don't like the idea of girls like that hanging around Lincoln, but should it really be up to me?"

"Of course it should." Sam cooed, rubbing her shoulders sympathetically. "You love your little brother, right?"

"Of course," Luna replied, desperately fighting down the urge to blush as memories from her childhood intermingled with memories of the dinner they'd just had. The romantic music mixing with the candlelight in just the right way. Their hands slowly creeping toward one another...

"You just want to protect your little brother," Sam said, soothingly. "Who knows what that girl might have done to him? You couldn't take that chance."

"N-no, I couldn't..." Luna said, not feeling entirely convinced.

They sat there in silence for a while, as Luna ruminated on her feelings towards the event of that night. Then...

"You know..." Sam ventured, "It seems to me like there's a pretty simple solution to all this.

"And what's that?" Luna asked, warily.

"It sounds like you really enjoyed spending time with Lincoln. So do that."

Luna blinked, confused. "I don't follow."

"Spend more time with Lincoln. Ask him to help you with your music. Try to take an interest in the things he likes. And most importantly..." at this point, Sam tightened her grip on Luna, to the point where it was verging on painful. "Keep him away from Lynn."

Sam suddenly relaxed her grip, and coughed, embarrassed. "...Because you know how rough she is with him."

"Well," Luna drawled, "While that sounds fun, I've kind of got this girlfriend? Maybe you know her?"

"I do. And I have it on good authority that she'd be delighted to spend time with you and your little brother."

"Say what?" Luna swiveled her head around and stared at the other girl in disbelief.

"Was I too subtle?" Sam asked, wryly. "You know I'm aware that I'm the girlfriend, right?"

"No, no..." Luna replied, shaking her head. "I just mean...why are you okay with this?"

"With what?"

"With this...thing. This need I have to make sure Linc's taken care of."

"Oh, Luna" Sam murmured, placing one hand on her cheek and kissing her softly. "I just want you to be happy. And spending time with your little brother clearly makes you happy."

"Besides," she continued, flipping Luna around and setting them once more into spooning position. "I love spending time with your little brother, and I think it would be great if the three of us got to hang out more."

"R-really?" Luna asked, tempted, but uncertain.

"Absolutely. You, and me, and Lincoln. We'll be like one, big, happy...family."

Luna groaned and rubbed her temples in frustration. So yeah, upon reflection, she'd clearly misread that whole thing.

That was when Luna once again felt the familiar sensation of Lincoln being pushed against her.

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssss!"