The dream from the past

... the first day of the legacy's study? "

" It was alright your majesty." the Countess replied with a somewhat stiff expression.

Ramier wasn't sure if he should believe what she said or rather consider what her face was portraying. He was confused, both were contradicting. 

A sigh escaped from his lips. He knew this couldn't be helped. The Countess was an uptight person and Ashley was a clumsy one. They were complete opposites. He just hoped that they would still get along.

Ramier told the Countess that it was already fine for her to leave and put his attention back to his paperwork. His handsome face turned grim when he realized how he spent his nights working without sleeping. The appearance on his handsome face was a bit haggard. He also felt the exhaustion slightly wander through his system. 

**********

The hours passed so quickly but he somehow managed to finish his job. It was already late. The Palace was quiet and everyone was already asleep. 

Ramier stood up from his desk and started walking towards the door. The lights from the bulb suddenly faltered and grew dim but seconds later, the lights came back to the way it shone brightly. 

It's depleted already? Wasn't it going to last for another year? 

He shrugged and chose to ignore what happened and went straight to his room. He didn't ask for the servants to cater to him and he prepared his own bath.

He removed all his clothes. Only the silhouette of his structured body could be seen. The bulge and cracks of his muscles adorned his abdomen and arms making them appear sturdy, but paired with  the pale white skin, it made him look delicate. The arcs and angles of his nakedness were perfect. His glass like skin looked glossy under the lights. 

Raising his foot, he entered the bath and sat on the tub. He combed his silver hair to the back of his head and leaned back to lie down completely. The cold surface felt so neutral against his skin. Closing his eyes, the lashes fluttered and his brows formed to a crease.

There he drifted onto a different place. A place he hasn't visited for a while.

Everything was dark and dim. 

"Ramier..."

A gentle voice called out to him. He felt bolts of electricity running down his spine when he recognized it. He couldn't help but utter the words he has been dying to say ever since... She disappeared.

"Mother..."

The voice didn't respond. He saw her figure turn away from him and she started walking. The steps she took were like daggers piercing his heart. He wanted to stop her. He didn't want her to disappear like how she did centuries ago... He didn't want her to go away.

The feet that were deeply rooted on the ground started to move. He ran as fast as he could to close in the distance between the two of them but no matter  how much he did. She was only getting farther and farther away from him.

"No!" he shouted with an exasperated voice.

 She said nothing but she stopped like she seemed to have heard him. A tilt on her head was the only response she gave. A feeling arose in his heart. It was hope. He managed to somehow change her mind. Finally, she can save her.

But his heart bled when he saw her tearful expression. The tears were red seemingly like the tears were her own blood.

"No!" he shouted again.

Bruise started appearing on her face. A mark of ropes in her neck. The dress that was exquisitely clean and well-kept was now covered with stains of blood and dirt. A cut appeared on her lips and the beautiful face she had now looked like was butchered. However, it was not falsehood.

She was really butchered.

The usual smile on her face was gone. It was replaced with an expression of sorrow and remorse. He knew she secretly hated her.

After all these years, he was still the same small child she cared for. In front of this opportunity given to him to speak with her and to save her, he was still helpless. He was nothing. His existence as the Emperor was a joke. He was powerless. 

He was weak.

"N-No..." he whispered but his voice cracked. 

He cried for the first time in years. 

"Why didn't you save me?" she said. 

There it was... the voice that haunted him in his dreams. Those words were capable of wounding him so much, he wished that he was the one who died. 

"I'm sorry..." 

That was the only thing he could say. 

"Why didn't you save me?" she repeated. 

He grew silent and got on his knees. He looked at his hands that were wet from his tears. They were so small. This was the body he had when he was a child. He was still the child, Ramier. He could only weep. Lowering his head to hide himself from shame, his chin was raised by gentle hands. 

His eyes sparkled when he met her blood red eyes. She looked the same again. A smile that reached her eyes and a soft expression appeared in her face like how it used to look like. He was back to the deepest parts of his memories. 

The event that triggered everything. 

"I'm sorry Faela." he said with a child's voice. 

She embraced him to make him feel better. The warmth of her body was what he has been longing for. The feeling of contentment filled him. 

"It's alright... little Prince. As long as you stay away from the Rose Garden..." she said. "She won't be able to hurt you." 

"But—"

She broke from their hug and faced him with a serious expression. She looked deeply into his eyes to express how important her words were. 

"Stay away from the Empress." she warned seriously. 

His little self could only nod obediently but when he raised his head to look at her once more...

She disappeared.