10- Taxi Driver

He was already regretting not letting "mom two" know of his arrival, moving all of his bags by himself was a hassle, not because it made the load heavy, but because of the five large suitcases he was carrying. He didn't remember LAX being so big, as he exited the building he was already wondering if they would be worth the benefits of the things he was bringing.

"Can't hesitate if it's all about fun"- he thought and pulled with more momentum to the area where several cabs were parked. He approached one where a fat gentleman was reading the newspaper while eating a banana. Without thinking she opened the back door and began to force her large suitcases in, which upset the driver.

-Girl, what are you doing?" the man in the brown beret and moss green tweed jacket shouted.

-What does it look like? I'm using your cab service.

- Girl, you can't just barge into a car," replied the now calmer man, "there must be a verbal agreement first, little princess.

- Take it easy Pablo Walrus (Wally Walrus), I just want you to drop me off at home," replied the boy as he put in the second suitcase.

- Who? Anyway, your parents better get here soon, because I won't give you a free ride," the walrus-like man had already gotten out to help the boy carry the suitcases.

Once inside the vehicle the two were silent, and the silence didn't last long.

-What are you waiting for?

- Your parents girl, I didn't get my ass out of a frozen land, just to be put in an American jail.

- Oh I don't have parents here comm...- he was interrupted by the violent movement of the cab driver who proceeded to throw water from a flask at him. 

- my listening to this from Cuban and Mexican cab drivers, ¡¡¡¡¡ spirit away!!!, go back to the motherland Sgroya!!!!! - the fat man was hyperventilating: he was mixing Russian words with the language he spoke fluently until a moment ago.

- Успокойся, я не призрак. (calm down man, I'm not a ghost.) мы все знаем, что шпионы говорят по-японски (we all know that spectres speak like Japanese).

- You speak language!" he shouted ecstatically - ghosts don't speak in real language!

- Man you're weird, can we go now?" he asked while taking off his wig, luckily his natural hair didn't have as much volume as his biological mother's, it would be a nightmare to bear the pressure on his head, even so, he regretted having to hide his beautiful brown hair inherited from Gloria, his contact lenses that was an aspect he didn't mind, some time ago his yellow eyes began to bother him. According to his father Jack they were unnatural, but despite his opinion he never mentioned it in front of his grandfather Noah, it seems he always wants Andrew to look perfect in front of the old man.

- Not being able to leave without father

- $100 if we leave now-

- At your service принцесса (princess)

- I have a name, Mr. Walrus (Wally).

- And what's that?

A simple question was what made the boy's wit stop, his life unfolded as Andrew, but according to his mother Gloria; Alexandro is how he should identify himself. Barely in puberty, but he already had two names, two lives and two families. It's amazing how much he already resembled his grandfather.

After the agreement between his 2 families made thanks to Gatsby, the rule was set that he must use only one name when with co-family.

"I guess even though I'm not with Gloria right now, I have to leave Andrew Burkhart in Wisconsin, hello Xandro, Xander, Mr. X, I'd prefer Alex, but the nerdy girl wants to hog him, we'll see how long she has him for"- his depressive internal monologue continued even when the cab driver had been watching for a while.

-Alex, that's my name and by the way the meter wasn't running yet, so leaving me to my thoughts won't make me pay you more.

- Matb was right, American women talk a lot, just tell me where to go already.

- Yes wait I have a piece of paper with the address- he said as he rummaged through the small light blue backpack on his back, he may have been to Jay's house before, the old man not the blond, but he was bad at remembering addresses.

A few seconds later the cab started

---------------------------------------------------Gloria --------------------------------------------------

*comment*

- Manny is very passionate, like all the Ramirez's, one time his brother Alexandro and I were arguing very loudly, the yelling had already started, well the issue escalated so much that we destroyed a car.

- Well arguing while driving is not the wisest thing to do, I just hope it didn't cause severe damage.

 - Oh we weren't in the car.

- Then how did you destroy it?

- It turned out that my Alexandro was right, that cat food along with that industrial acid didn't remove clothing stains, in the end he threw it out the window and the car was destroyed.

- And they were able to fix the car," asked Jay.

- I don't know.

- How could you not know Gloria? It was your car," he said with a slight tone of exasperation.

- Oh! It wasn't our car - Gloria shrugged her shoulders as if the matter was not important, at this Jay could only look at the camera.

*Commentary*

They were arriving home so Manny could change his clothes and go to the mall to propose to the girl he likes. When they stopped they could see how a cab was in their entrance blocking Jay's way, when they got out the yellow car started leaving a pale, thin and a little bit taller than Manny with black hair and brown eyes.

-MIJO!" the Latina woman shouted excitedly as she ran over to him and wrapped him in a tight hug.

- Hi Gloria," he mentioned casually as he was being lifted into the air like a rag doll.

- It's mom, no Gloria Alexandro.

- It's okay Gloria, put me down and call me Alex.

- But there is already an Alex in the family," said Jay.

- There can be two," said Xandro, "Manny," once on the ground he happily jumped towards his brother who hid behind the grown man, "I know you missed me little man, come give your brother Alex a hug.

- I won't call you Alex and I won't go near you.

- Not even for the gift I brought you," he pointed to one of the big suitcases.

The chubby boy hesitated, but finally came out of his hiding place, approached the suitcase and when he was about to open it he was stopped by his brother.

-Not yet little man, it's a present for the end of the day, by the way, isn't it too early for Halloween?

- It's not a costume, it's my uniform," answered Manny with some presumption in his tone.

- Oh boy I've seen you eat and even you get tired with it, I had to feed you.

- After you made me fight for my food.

- I bet $20 you stood in the field and did nothing," he said to Jay as he magically pulled out a bill.

- You don't get to my age making bets you know you'll lose.

- A lot of people don't get to your age, period," he replied, jabbing him with his elbow and winking at his stepfather.

 - Oh old age jokes, how would you feel if I made fun of you, you, all your black but oddly colorful clothes, you look like you're going to a clown's funeral- Jay took a while to engineer a comeback to the burn.

- It's called Emo style and it's cool, on the other hand, I won't take fashion advice from someone who dresses like the little old men who hang around the malls.

- I don't dress like them.

Their exchange, while it may seem like a fight to others, the reality was that everyone knew it was more of a friendly interaction, and actually healthy compared to what most stepparents and stepchildren have.

-Come on I'll lose her if we don't get there fast! - interrupted the younger brother.

- lightning bollocks I was hoping you'd forget the whole older girl thing. 

- You can't forget love Jay," said Gloria.

- What's going on," asked the newcomer.

- Manny wants to propose to an older girl and she will humiliate him.

- Well what are we waiting for, come on! - replied Xandro running, but as he passed by Manny he stopped and grabbed him by his underwear and pulled him up - never let your guard down little man! Hahahaha.

-Mom!

- I told you, the Ramirez's are passionate, although I don't understand why in the last year their displays of affection are more aggressive.

- For God's sake, they're brothers, it's normal," said Jay nervously looking at the camera.

*Commentary*.

- Well maybe that's my fault, maybe I mentioned to Xandro that a normal sibling relationship is violent, I told him many of the things I did to Donnie while we were growing up, I told him how older siblings treat younger ones, and well this kind of things started to happen- he finished looking at the camera with an uncomfortable expression.

*Commentary*.

They arrived at the mall and Manny was about to approach the girl.

-I'll give you $50 if you don't do it.

- I'm 11, what will I do with the money?

- What will you do with a 16?

-What will you do with a girlfriend?

Manny ignored the other two men in the family and left anyway.

-You're in a bad mood, because that man mistook you for my father.

-Oh god I should have come earlier hahahahaha.

- he wanted to flirt with your mother," that wiped off the boy's smile.

- Let's go while we're here we should buy some juvenile things.

- I don't need anything juvenile Gloria and I don't care what some idiot in ripped jeans thinks of me.

- Did he comb his hair with too much gel and wear a shirt with a skull on it along with sunglasses?

- No to the hairdo, yes to the other stuff, how do you know?

- He must have been a single dad in his mid 30's crisis... what a loser hahaha.

- Anyway Jay, you're right, you shouldn't care what someone else thinks of you, you should care what I think of you.

-And me.

- And Xandro since you are now his father.

- We still have to get to know each other more Gloria- said the youngest- besides we know you will buy the clothes.

- Jay I love you and I don't care how old you are, so stop your bitterness and stop being so hard on Manny.

- I'm hard on him, because I don't want him to look like a fool, that's why I try to stop.

- Don't feel bad Jay, there's nothing you could have done to stop it.

- Come on kid, have more faith in me.

- Oh I don't mean that, if you had convinced him I would have given him $200 to go in front of the girl and read her his poem, and if that didn't work I could have said things like; you can't keep love waiting, or something like; Manny in this train station that is life rarely do two trains meet on the same track.

- Xandro they are never supposed to meet on the same track.

- Ay mi niño, that is so sweet, see Jay so you must support your family.

- Let's ignore the fact that he just admitted he was going to bribe and manipulate?

- I don't know what will happen with that, but you are his family now, that means one thing: You are the breeze on his back, not the spit in his face.

- What?

- It's Colombian witchcraft, that's how he catches you," joked Xandro leaning on the railing with his arms hanging out.

- It's not, it's a phrase your grandmother always says, it's something deep. Look here it comes.

- I gave her my heart and she gave me a picture of my sheriff dress, it was very silly of me wasn't it?

- Yes, it was.

- No, my love was brave, it was brave wasn't it Jay?

- Well you'll learn for next time, let's get a pretzel.

- I want a soft white chocolate one with dark chocolate chips.

- xandro will give you infantile diabetes," said the man as he walked away with a happy child happily walking behind him with his hands clasped behind his back.

- Don't mind them, I like it," he said as he hugged Manny from behind.

A few feet ahead a mall guard mistook Jay for one of the old men exercising, Xandro just laughed as Jay, adopting a determined expression, walked into a youth clothing store dragging his stepson with him.

-You are predictable Jay

-----------------------------------------------------Clare---------------------------------------

He was baking a cake with his youngest daughter.

-Hey, if Healy got pregnant, we'd pretend she was sick and then after a few months you'd tell people the baby was yours, if we did that we'd have to forge documents and then have a parent at the school see them so they'd be sure the baby was yours, so the false information becomes real.

Clare drew a blank considering the fact that her youngest daughter had a plan for the situation, and it was a good one.

-Wait what? 

-A senior girl was sick for a few months, but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breastfeeding at the car wash. Either way, it could be a lie, Jenna looks like the kind of person who lies to be interesting. But it would still be cool to see Healy fat and it would be awesome to have a fake brother who is actually my nephew, it would be something we'd hide until he's 18 and it affects him horribly.

-Okay, enough, I know you want to tease your sister, but that won't happen, because she's a good girl, I know because I used to be just like her- with that last Clare went to see what her oldest daughter was doing- and Alex where did you learn that kind of stuff?

- Xandro.

Claire made a comically exaggerated grimace trying to formulate an answer- When did you talk? He's been around less than 5 times since the wedding.

-It was at the wedding.

-Remind me not to let you have a playdate with him.

- He's family, I'll see him sooner or later and I'm 13.

Clare just walked away from the kitchen.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the evening the whole Dunphy family arrived at Cam and Mitchell's house, they were about to knock when they heard voices.

-Come on Jay, you have to believe me, I can see the future.

- Xandro stop it, you've been saying that ever since we bought these clothes.

The Dunphy family turned around and couldn't believe their eyes, not only was Clare's father dressed in a colorful jacket and a sequined cap, all of her father's new family was dressed just like him, Gloria had a similar purple outfit with tight pants and platform boots, Manny was wearing the same rapa as Jay only in yellow and with the cap backwards and lastly Xandro was wearing a very large and bulky lavender colored eskimo type jacket that had some lights that had a pattern of ignition upwards, he was also wearing some futuristic type sunglasses that covered a large part of his face.

Apparently Jay wasn't entirely comfortable in his clothes, so he decided that if he suffered he would drag the little gremlin he has for a stepson. The move backfired, Gloria liked the way the two of them looked together so she took Manny to the store and they bought matching clothes, so they left the mall, with everyone watching them....

-That's how I knew you would buy the clothes, how else would I guess you would do what Gloria said, it's magic Jay.

- It's marriage kid.

- you're afraid to find out that magic is real, 

- It's because I think you will play dirty, but it's ok give me your envelopes.

- Ok, in them is what will happen tonight, for each thing that is fulfilled and is there will be multiplied by 5 the value of the bet, remember that you can stop the game at any time to not lose more money, let's start with the 100$ you were willing to give to Manny- he said while he passed him 3 envelopes listed.

- It was $50, my memory works fine.

- Ok 50$.

- Manny you should play too

-No, I'm fine mom, I don't have that much money.

- Manny won't win, he can't possibly know what's going to happen at dinner and if he gets even one right, I'll give him $50, I'll pay for you.

- Famous last words- muttered Manny, although Jay heard him, seeing the Alice in Wonderland cat-like grin on Xandro's face only made him feel uneasy.

The Dunphy family just fast forwarded to the house, Claire was still somewhat incredulous at the spectacle of murder a la mode, as they entered she only warned Mitchell that she wouldn't believe her eyes. Jay announced himself before entering, the red head was about to tell him that wasn't necessary until he saw him in full, his disbelief only grew as he saw the rest of the new family, when they all entered they proceeded to greet each other, when Gloria greeted Phil he understood she wanted him to touch her clothes, but his arm was stopped by Xandro.

-Quiet Humpty Dumphy.

Clare took him aside and scolded him, while Phil asked him if he had just been insulted by a child.

-So how was the trip?

-Great, great, not as mind-blowing as the clothes on your backs but great- the alluded smiled with pleasure taking it as a compliment- but I have to tell you something, we didn't go to vietnam just for pleasure, we have big news.

-If Cam shows up with boobs and a wig I'm leaving.

- Wigs are cool.

- No they're not corn boy- Xandro just stuck his tongue out at whoever said that who turned out to be Healy- I hope they're not embarrassing you mom.

- Don't mind him, he brought his first boyfriend home and Phil shot him.

-Wild, you have my respect, Humpty," said Xandro, extending his fist at Phil, who smiled and raised his arm.

-It was air.

-And you lost it.

- Anyway, a year ago, Cam and I started to feel something, we wanted more, something that will change our lives.

-Are there children here, is that appropriate?" asked Xandro, raising his hand.

- A baby, I meant a baby.

- It's a bad idea. 

-What do you mean?

-Children need a mother, if you get bored buy a dog.

- Don't do that, they're disgusting, they defecate and drool everywhere.

-Oh! like a baby," Luke exclaimed in support of Xandro, the latter winking at him in acknowledgement.

- We don't get bored daddy and that's a bit rude Xandro.

-You're right, mijo stop, I support you Mitchell, even if you're not my son.

- I think what they were trying to say is that you get overwhelmed a lot, kids are chaos and Xandro is kind of right, it requires a lot of care and you don't handle that well.

-That's not what they said, you said it and it offends a little more.

-All right guys relax.

-Hey where's Uncle Cameron.

-Jay opens the first envelope - Xandro whispered to his stepfather.

- thanks someone who isn't interested in insulting me or joking around finally realized he's not here.

-That's the big news they broke up, a baby wouldn't have fixed it, and, by the way, Xandro you owe Manny and I $50 haha.

-You bet on my relationship with your new son," asked Mitchell in pain.

-Seriously dad, that's going too far.

-Crap grandpa, you may not understand uncle Mitchell's orientation, but he doesn't deserve you using his love life to play with that freak over there.

-Easy there, barbie.

-it's not what you think, the kid says he can predict the future, so he wrote something ridiculous on this envelope.

- What did he write? - Phil asked.

- The first envelope said that you and Cam adopted an Asian girl, can you believe it?

Jay asked with a chuckle, Claire smiled wryly and Healy openly mocked Xandro. 

-Anyway, you're better off without him, because he's a bit melodramatic.

-Healy said, "It's okay, stop it, they come to my house and tease me with jokes and bets about me and my boyfriend, who by the way is not that dramatic.

Her statement was interrupted by the musical arrival of Cam carrying Lily in a peculiar parody of the lion king. Everyone fell silent.

-We adopted a little girl, her name is Lily.

-What a thrill!

- Say hello to Lily

-She's so pretty

-Let me see her.

- Lily, it won't be hard for me to say.

-Phil...

- No, if her name had more than two syllables maybe.

-Okay I know I said this was a bad idea, but what do I know, I haven't been the best dad in the world, I've been trying to be one my whole life and I still screw up, right guys?

- I wrote a song about it in the car.

- I kicked him for that song.

- Yes you did.

- Anyway, I'm happy for you guys, and you should know that I'm not here to spit in your face, I'm here to blow your back.

-I don't know what that means.

-I like it

-I don't get it

-It sounds better in Spanish.

-I'll be the breeze on your back, not the one spitting in your forehead.

"I wonder if Mom remembers that no one else here but her, Manny I speak Spanish."

-Anyway, Mich.

-All right dad, do you want to meet Lily?

- you're kidding, she's part of the family, let me see the little one.

- Hi, you're a cutie.

-Jay opens the second envelope.

 Cameron will make a dramatic and musical entrance

-It's okay I believe you, you see the future.

- You owe me $500, you could open the third one, if I'm wrong I'll wipe out the debt.

- I won't risk it.

The whole family smiled at the exchange, then went on to have a nice time sharing Mich and Cam's happiness at Lily's arrival.

The next day Jay was reading the letter from Manny

-He laughed and put the letter down, then saw the third envelope on the table and decided to open it.

  You won't resist opening it, you owe me 2,500.

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Okay some things happened and didn't motivate me to write, although I doubt that the readers who read this months ago will see it, let me know what you thought.

This will probably be the last chapter I translate into English.