Chapter 66

I almost wonder what would happen if I was to get too close to her. Everything about her seems so normal, that I get the sense of danger that says nothing is actually normal about her. I can see the way her perfectly manicured nails gleam in the light from the chandeliers.

They are sharpened to a precise pointiness, but yet she keeps all those hidden. If any of the movies I have watched bear even an iota of truth, then maybe she should also have one of those surprise weapons. Something lile electrifying bracelets, or keyboard fingers, I think I've just watched Barbie one time too many, and so I throw the thought out of my head.

She still ignores me, and I can't seem to find what to do at this particular moment. I still haven't figured out the question of how to walk up to someone you barely know, and start introducing yourself with stuff about alliances for the winter games.

If I have learnt anything from my short stay here, it's that if there's one fact that true, it's that everyone is on their own. Each and every person for themselves.

It doesn't matter if you are in a group, or you join an alliance, once it comes down to it you find out you are utterly alone, and that is one thing that I am determined to change.

I walk over to the counter and set to order some drinks when the grim incident of the past 3 days comes back to me once more.

It seems you can trust to no one in this place, even the people that make your food, you never know who they might be working for, and you never know what thier motive might be.

I look at the sea of excited faces who are staring at me, waiting for me to make an order. They all look happy and honoured by the fact that I am here, and I think that is exactly what makes me see through them.

These people aren't happy that they have to be serving nineteen year olds and eighteen year olds like they were slaves. They aren't happy to see these barely twenty  year old kids, carry out the sort of brutality that inevitably gets even they themselves roped in.

They are not happy to be used like little pawns in this game each and every person is playing. I asked myself the question, "if you do not want to be used, why give your consent?".

Shouldn't it's be as simple as that, just deciding not to be a pawn in someone else's hands, and not giving your consent to having them treat you like one. You should be able to make a decision for yourself, but then the bitter truth seems to be invade my heart, it's not so easy as simply not wanting to be used.

I lived with people that did not appreciate me, and forced me to live like a street urchin for four years, and yet will I ever really say I gave my assent to being treated that way.

You know what, we all live with the cards that we are dealt, and so I will live with this one. What has happened has happened. I order a drink, two drinks to be precise.