Chapter 63

It seems the attention of each and every person in this place suddenly becomes redirected, and all the conversation comes to a halt.

I think it is the sheer novelty of me being someone who is unfamiliar, that brings this sort of rapt attention at what I'm going to do next. I thought it was always people who were unknown that were ignored, but yet it seems I will be getting none of that ignorance at this moment. My heart is beating in my ears and each and every step I take makes me feel like they're a thousand chains on my leg. The chains draw back to one place, the seat I had so calmly stood up from but a moment ago.

If I had stayed back there, I'm very sure I would not be feeling this sort of bone wracking anxiety. I can see some people trying to busy themselves, so as not to look like they were outrightly following my every move, but each and every person's motive is clear.

Nothing must escape their attention. Nothing must go on behind their backs, perfect knowledge of everything gives one an upper hand, and so my brain goes on a rampage.

I'm thinking of the best way to carry out my actions, without being unnecessarily noticed. She seems a thousand miles away right now, but yet I'm pretty sure just a few feet would bridge the gap between us.

How do I go about this, I ask myself, as I silently berate myself at doing something so foolish. It seems each and every step stretches out into hours. I can feel the attention everyone has given to me right now, and I can't say I appreciate it.

Charlotte is wearing an amused yet softly unsure expression on her face. She looks unsure of what I'm going to do, and she looks unsure of what is going to happen next. I can see wonder in some people's eyes, as they think of why someone who hasn't been here for days seems to feel like endangering her life at this very moment.

The person I am currently walking towards ignores me, like I am nothing but air, as she stares straight forward, and gives each and every person that glances her way a smile.

A very deadly smile that tells me she's a spy who can handle herself. She can't be thrown around by anybody, and yet beneath that smile, I see the hurt that she's so clearly tries to hide.

I see the way she's silently begging me to please, not put her through this kind of trauma today. It will seem cruel of me to approach someone, and try to exploit their grief to my own advantage, but yet I'm not sure that is exactly what's going on in my head.

I'm not sure I'm going over to her right now to exploit her so she can give me her family crest. I'm not sure what I'm doing at this moment, and yet my feet seem to move forward on their own.