Chapter 109

For some time now I have always wondered where he went to whenever I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't find him, I always wondered where he went to when we would be taking something of a stroll around the secluded garden and he would suddenly disappear, only to come back out later with apologies.

I thought asking about it will be stepping on marshy ground, the conversation would all but sink in five minutes but yet I don't think he wants to tell me as much as he wants me to find out. This is another one of the mind games that everyone finds essential to play here, no one will tell you anything directly, they want you to figure it out by yourself, even the other two people who are standing just beside me are also a mystery to me.

I only know some of the basic facts about them, I don't know everything that would be necessary to know about a friend.

A friend is someone whom you know each and every little detail about, someone whom you know their favourite colour, you know their favourite food, just know practically everything about them. I'd be foolish if I said they didn't know much about me at this point.

When I talked to Alice about the death of my parents, i had expected something of at least well I think of sympathy from her, but she her character betrayed she already knew. It only goes to show how much secrets are held here, I wonder if everyone here also knows about me.

"They don't" Adrian says and I realise I have been muttering out loud yet again. Arden and Alice seem to be contemplating something in their minds, but not a word is coming out of them. I also sit down on the folds of my gown and simply think of how today will go.

I checked the time on my watch and see it is something past ten, the sun is probably going to be high in the sky now though the cold will still persist.

I'm guessing winter wasn't joking when it imsited on being called the cold season, only these cold winds could desist from making me feel like a girl. I'm pretty sure if i could get myself a pair of jeans and a shirt, at least I'd be able to move around freely, and even make myself useful a bit.

I hate this useless sitting I'm doing, I hate this useless lazing about and not being useful that I seem to have been subjected to this morning. For the past two nights I'm pretty sure I had been similarly useless, but yet I had not felt this sort of feeling before, the feeling that made me feel like I simply had no purpose here.

Exactly what should be my purpose. Adrian said I have a useful set of skills, but the only thing I don't know how to do is use them. How could I possibly use skills I did not know about in this sort of situation.

My gaze runs around trying to catch any sort of activity that might require my help, but yet what I notice is much different, it is so different that it makes me break into an ecstatic smile.