"As much as your monologue has proven to be amusing, I still have other work to attend to." A voice akin to the ringing of bells entered my ears.
That's weird, my hearing was supposed to have deteriorated by this stage.
Also, where's the pain?
My eyes shot open and what greeted me was the visage of the most alluring woman I have ever laid my eyes on.
"Thank you for the compliment" She smiled.
And apparently she can read my mind.
"So, god? Death? Akasha?" I asked her in succession and she nodded at the last.
"So, what does the personification of all of creation has to do with me?"
"Hmmmnn..." She made an amused sound. That was not good for mah heart!
"Tell me, what are the most defining parts of your life?" I raised an eyebrow, wordlessly asking the obvious question.
"Humor me," She replied.
"Well, during my accident when I was five and when I bought my first Pl*tia plushie when I was fifteen, I guess."
"Hmmmnn..." Goddess! I know you can read my mind, but please stahp!
Wait, you can read my mind. You are doing this on purpose aren't you?!
With a slight upturn of her lips, she took out a book and glasses from nowhere and began reading.
Gah! Now it's megane shoujo! Are you trying to kill me via doki-doki induced arrhythmia?!
"Elric Blackmore, died at the age of 18 due to murder by a Yandere who confused his apartment with her ex-boyfriend. His intelligence is very high, but not enough to be considered as a genius. Physical ability is above average. Has the social awareness of a rock, as is his leadership ability. He is very good at deducting and inferencing data. His logical skills is nothing to scoff at either. All in all, an intellectual that has the potential to rise above the faceless masses."
"We-" My words were interrupted as she slammed the book shut before throwing it upwards. Then, a massive blaze emerged from her outstretched hand and engulfed the book in a fiery conflagration.
"Elric Blackmore soul was recorded to have died on that day when he had that accident when he was twelve. His death would have led to his father pouring his time into work to forget the pain and his mother spoiling his brother leading him to die at the age of 16 due to overuse of drugs."
"What was baffling is that his body continued to function even without his soul but with all his memories, essentially becoming a living meatsack emulating the man known as Elric. At the age of fifteen, a spark of soul was found inside him, and contrary to the laws of this realm, has formed ex nihilo*."
"Instead, his father became a successful business man while being a dedicated father to his family, going home every week just to spend time with his wife and kids. His mother became a successful government employee having raised filial children. And most importantly, his brother who was pushed to his limits and became a renowned genius who became the youngest Licensed Pharmacist at the age of sixteen."
What.
What?
What?!
Okay...
That...
That was some info dump.
"S-so you meant to say that I'm a soulless husk of meat?" I asked.
"Why do you think you felt so empty all those years ago?" Her lips upturned, this time as a smirk.
"Huh... So what changed?"
"You gained a soul. Specifically, you f*cked the rules of rebirth and made a soul outside the cycle of Samsara."
"And this is bad?"
A nod. "Essentially yes. You see, life and death hangs on a thin balance. When a soul dies, it goes to the afterlife where it will be slowly purified and sent back as a blank slate."
"And I come in where?"
"I'm getting to that part." Her eyes narrowed slightly.
I nod at the unspoken warning.
"Okay, usually we have people removing themselves from the cycle via Enlightenment and whatnot. This is not necessarily a bad thing. You see, the cycle can be likened to that of a balloon filled with air to the brim. When a soul leaves the cycle, the balloon gets smaller. However, if a single soul enters, the whole balloon pops. You get what I'm trying to say?"
I nod. "So me dying is a bad thing."
A pause. "Essentially yes."
"So what now?"
"Now? There are a few solutions to this problem. One, I erase you from existence. Two, I can send you somewhere else..."
"And three?"
"And three, you can become my source of entertainment?"
"Wait... Like a ROB?"
"Essentially, yes."
"Do I at least get cheats?"
"Yes. It makes things more fun that way."
"Why didn't you say that in the first place? I don't care whether I'm a soul fragment, a fake, or something. Now, this contract, I AGREE."
"Wonderful, I knew you would say that!"
"Of course, you are, after all, a mind reading personification of creation."
Another smile, this time one of mischief.
"And to answer why I did this in the first place, let me ask you this: If you can do something utterly redundant and useless but fun, would you still do it?"
"Yes."
With that, I was off to a new world.
...
*From Nothing