Fire back

Today's our 17th month anniversary. Sweet! ----

----- not. How could it be when it's a disaster like this?

0 text messages, 0 phone calls, I didn't see him for over a week and I haven't got any call from him. I'm starting to panic here. This man will drive me crazy.

What had happened? Everything was fine after our 16th month anniversary, or so I thought…

After our date, he started to drift away. He became distant. For a few weeks, the time we spent together diminished ad soon faded. He won't answer my calls, he won't reply on my txt messages. He won't pick me up to take me to a date or tour in some beautiful places like what we usually do.

Did he found someone new? Did he got sick or worse? Or… he's not in love with me any more/ was this a sign for me to back off? Oh my… I didn't expect this. I had fallen madly in love with him, hard. I had to clear things up. I'm going to t…

Ring… Ugh, back off cell phone, I'm not in the mood to answer any calls!

Ring… ugh.

I didn't even bother to see the caller i.d. and just pushed the answer button.

"Hello?!" it came as a shout than a polite answer.

"Trisha…" Rio's voice sounded sad on the other line.

"Rio! You called! I'm worried sick! What have you been up to?! I missed you…" I babbled on and on. He called! But why don't I feel relieved? What's t…

"Come here in our beach, I have to tell you something…" then he hung up just like that.

Wait! Now? as in now? Its already eight in the evening. Oh well, if it is for Rio I think its okay. But my heart keeps shouting disturbing thoughts in my head. I don't know, but something tells me that this talk won't be good.

I hurried down the stairs, glad that I'm still all dressed up for the formal dinner with my mom just an hour ago.

"Mom, I'm going to Rio's, I'll be back later!" I shouted knowing that she would hear me. I grabbed my purse and started my way towards the beach to see my angel.

---

Finally, after weeks of not seeing my angel, he's right there, staring at the dark sea, his back facing me. He's wearing sweater and sweatpants, not his usual style.

I noticed that the sky has no stars tonight, the horizon was pitch black. The moon was hidden behind dark heavy clouds. Seems like its going to rain any time this night. The ocean waves are fierce, violent. The view looks so dead and scary, but it didn't care, my angel was there, standing so still like a Greek statue. I've decide to surprise him.

Kicking my heels off and letting my purse fall from my hands, I sneaked-ran to hug him from behind. When I finally reached him, I mean almost, before I got the chance to wrap my arms around him, he said my name deadly and I stopped in my tracks.

"Trisha?" then he spun around to face me. That's when I saw him clearly.

He has dark bags under his eyes, eyes that look so dull, there's no sparkle in them unlike before. His red lips look so pale. His good body built crumpled, he's skinnier than before. He looks so weak. Is he sick?

"Rio, oh my! What happened to you?! Are you sick?" I stuttered as I scanned him with my frantic eyes. I touched his cheeks, it's clammy.

"Rio? Are you…"

"Trisha" he said firmly as he wrapped his frail hands in both of my upper arms. "I'm sorry"

"What? Its okay, you don't have to apologize. Those weeks didn't matter, I'm here now and you're with me, we're finally together. I forgive you if that's wh…"

"No, it's not that" he stopped me.

"Then what is it?" He let g of my arms and turned his face away, looking anywhere but me, as if looking for the right words to explain something. Finally, he looked at me again and his dead, poignant stare ignited my worries to maximum.

"Ri…"

"It's over between us" my eyes widened and my throat dried.

I replied with a shaky laugh "Ha-ha, Rio, is this some kind of a joke? You're joking right? If it is, stop it, it's not funny" my fists are balling, because I know the answer, and I hope it's not what I think. He would never joke about something like this.

"No, it's true, I'm breaking up with you" he said, still staring at me, a stare that bore a hole right to where my heart is. This can't be, this isn't happening!

"Rio, you're sick, you are not in the right state of mind that's why you're saying that…" I said as I reach out to hold his hand, but he jerked away forcefully.

"No Trisha, you have to face the truth, and this is the truth, the reality. I don't love you anymore, and besides, you don't even love me right? You never told me you do so what's the point? It won't be hard for you to let go" he said then backed away.

"No, everything is perfect. Don't do this… I-I love you Rio, I love you so much, I do, I just …" I quickly defended.

"You're lying, Trisha" my tears are welling in my eyes now as he continued to speak.

"You thought I didn't know do you? You don't even love me, I've waited long enough for you. I didn't mind that I became your boy friend even if you don't really feel the same way. I tried everything, so, I think the love slowly faded away while I continued to wait. I had loved you but not anymore. And, if its true that you had fallen for me, sorry but I just don't feel the same way anymore"

"No" I croaked when the first few tears slowly marked my cheeks.

"For two months I tried to convince myself that I still do but to no avail. To tell you the truth, I even planned to break up with you while we were chatting on our 15th month anniversary, before you visited the Philippines but I thought that I'd give this relationship a chance, to somehow get the feeling back, and so I did. But now, the result is laid before your eyes, sorry" he said the turned his back to me and started to walk away.

"Rio don't! I-I love you! We are perfect together! I know that! Please… don't do this to me! I…" I scrunched my eyes close and held my chest to keep myself together. Everything he said, all those painful words were too much, too much to bear. It seems like my insides were in an irrevocable knots, my emotions in haywire.

I can't believe the things I heard. He also planned on breaking up with me on our 15th month anniversary? Is this karma? If it is then I'd rather die now than face the vindictive reality. I can't live without my angel loving me, I just can't.

"But you said that you love me! On our 16th month anniversary! You told me all those wonderful words! Those subtle promises… I f-felt that to-too! You're j-just lying…"

He stopped walking away and he said with his back facing me "I'm a great actor aren't I?"

That hurt. It was all an act. I had fallen for an act. But… I know he loves me. I can feel it. Something tells me that this is wrong. That he regrets all of this and that he needs to say those things.

"You can't do anything about it now, it's over, I don't want to hurt you but it's the only way…" thunder cracked and grazed the sky as he turned his head to the side to give me a sideway look "and… you were wrong… we are not perfect, we never were and we will never be… because there's no such thing as love between you and me… Goodbye" then he continued to walk away.

My eyes blurred as I watched him walk away from me, walk out of my life.

The streams of tears are free falling now. His figure became distant and distant as the first droplets of rain fell from the sky. The echo of the vicious waves are the only thing that can be heard besides the sound produced by the big raindrops colliding on the sand and ocean.

I continued to stand there, jus staring at his back until he's completely gone. My jaws are shattering, my teeth are gnashing on each other. My body is shaking violently with sobs as the wild tears continued to dominate my face, winning over the droplets of rain falling to my face. The rain got heavier and heavier until it's a raging storm, but I continued to stand there staring blankly, trying hard to process what had happened.

I'm physically numb. I don't feel anything, just the excruciating heartbreak and pain, it kills me.

I don't know how long I've been standing there, but when the rain slowly calmed, I dragged my bare feet away and walked slowly. I didn't even bother to pick up my purse and put my heels on. I just called a cab after I'm out of the beach and instructed my address numbly.

When I arrived there, my mom was pacing anxiously on the porch with an umbrella. She looked so worried. Maybe it's past ten already. I looked on my soaked watch and it read one in the morning already. I finally appraised myself. I'm completely drenched from head to toe. The driver stopped the cab and asked for my payment. I realized that my purse was left at the beach an…

"Trisha dear! Oh my, what took you so long?" she asked while opening the passenger door and helping me out.

"Mom, I left my purse at the beach. I don't have money to pay the driver" I said deadly. My mom furrowed her brows in confusion and worry

"Okay, I'll pay" she handed the driver a bill and then he drove away. My mom wrapped her arms around my shoulders and half-carried me to the porch, safe from the rain.

"Oh my honey, why are you soaking wet? You'll catch a fever in this condition y…" she continued to blab on and on about my condition but my head was ducked and I can't answer her, because I know that if I open my mouth, nothing will come out but a sob.

"Your eyes are bloodshot, did you cry? Trisha!" she shook me gently. "Please tell me what's wrong! I'm starting to panic!" I looked up and met her concerned eyes.

"Mom…" the tears started to flow down. My mom's eyes widened in horror. I can feel the numbness slowly controlling my body and my head pounding hard as my dead heart leaped because of strong emotions.

"Rio and I… it's over… it's o…" then, I fell to unconsciousness.