Chapter 38: Party Crasher

Having dumped his prisoner on Carol and the dwarves, Ethen accompanies Natasha to a party in the Ex-Stark Tower to mingle with the other Avengers.

As soon as they arrive, Ethen hears James Rodes telling a joke to Thor and Tony. ''... Well, you know, the suit can take the weight, right? So I take the tank, fly it right up to the General's palace, drop it at his feet, I'm like, ' Boom! You looking for this?'...'' Seeing Stark and Thor just look at him blankly, Rodes repeats himself. ''... 'Boom! Are you looking'...'Why do I even talk to you guys? Everywhere else that story kills.''

''WTF?! What is Terrence Howard doing here? Did Disney give him a raise or what?...'' Looking behind himself, Ethen finds Pikapool dressed in a Tuxedo complaining. ''... Where the fuck is Don Cheadle! First Ruffalo now Cheade! Is this still the MCU?''

Ignoring the fat mouse, Ethen refocusses his attention on the conversation across the room.

''Well, it's very good then...'' Laughs Thor mocking Rodes. ''... It's impressive.''

Knowing that his joke is lost on his audience, James asks Tony. ''Quality save. So, no Pepper? She's not coming?'

Hearing an emphatic ''No.'' coming from Stark Maria Hill asks Thor. ''Hey, what about Jane? Where are the ladies, gentlemen?''

''Well, Miss Potts has a company to run.'' Explains Tony, before Thor also explains. ''Yes, I'm not even sure what country Jane's in. Her work on the convergence has made her the world's foremost astronomer.''

Getting competitive, Tony comments. ''And the company that Pepper runs is the largest tech conglomerate on earth. It's pretty exciting.''

Thor one-upping Tony tells everybody. ''There's even talk of Jane getting a... um, uh... Nobel prize.''

''Yeah, they... they must be busy because they'd hate missing you guys get together...'' Maria states, spotting Ethen and Natasha joining them, as she mockingly coughs. '' Ahm...Testosterone!... Oh, excuse me.''

''Heard you two were talking about your girlfriends...'' States Ethen grinning, before one-upping both Avengers. ''... One of mine can literally create energy barriers and shoot photon blasts from her fists, another one has built her own tech empire and my third is a super sexy spy.''

Just shaking their head and leave wordlessly Tony and Thor ignore Ethen.

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Sometime later Steve and Thor are talking to an elderly man at the party.

Seeing Thor drink some hard liquor, the man tells Thor. ''I gotta have some of that!''

Shaking his head, Thor explains to him. ''Oh, no, no, no. See this, this was aged for a thousand years, in the barrels built from the wreck of Brunhilde's fleet, it's not meant for mortal men.'' That said, Thor pours the drink into two glasses and hands one to Steve.

''Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie...'' States Stan Lee. ''... Stop trying to scare us. Come on.''

''Stan my man!...'' Comments Pikapool, fist-bumping the old man before he turns to Thor stating. ''... Yea, you heard the man, walking shampoo advertisement, stop trying to scare us!''

Nodding Thor pours some of the drink into the Stan Lee's, then into Pikapools glass, saying. ''Alright!... Here you go...''

... Later Stan, looking extremely drunk is being carried off by two men and Pikapool is still owning drinks one after another while sitting on the counter while Stan sings. ''Excelsior.''

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While Stan Le and Pikapool are drinking away Thor's liquor, Natasha pours herself a drink behind the bar when Ethen walks up to her after having talked to Banner and Betty Ross.

Smiling, Ethen walks up to Natasha, asking. ''How did a nice girl like you wind up working in a dump like this?''

Smiling, Romanov flirts back by saying. ''Fella did me wrong.''

Looking hurt, Ethen states. ''You got a lousy taste in men, kid.''

''He's not so bad. Well, he is indestructible, but deep down he's all fluff...'' Natasha states starting to play with the cherry impaled on a toothpick. ''... Fact is, he's not like anybody I've ever known. All my friends are fighters. And here comes this guy, spends his life wanting to stop fights because he knows he'll win them all.

''Sounds amazing.''

Smiling, Natasha tells Ethen. ''He's also a huge dork.'' Doing a bad job at faking an embarrassed look, Ethen gets Natasha to laugh and say. ''Chicks dig that...'' Turning serious once again, Natasha asks him. ''... So what do you think should I fight this, or run with it?''

Knowing that his woman is already horny, Ethen tells her. ''Do not a damn thing... But never say never.'' Knowing that she got beaten at her favorite game Natasha walks pouting like a little girl away.

''It's nice.'' Ethen suddenly hears Rodgers suddenly comment out of now where.

Not getting defensive, but offensive, Ethen asks. ''What do you mean?''

Smiling friendly Steve tells him after a short drawn-out moment. ''You and Romanov.''

''Thank you... I really like her and I think this relationship can go places.''

Blindsided by Ethens blunt honesty, Steve stutters. ''It is just, it's just... Ahm... she's not the most... open person in the world. But with you, she seems very relaxed.''

''I hope so. I am doing my best to satisfy all my women and Natasha, she likes to flirt.''

''Women?...'' Asks Steve before telling Ethen. ''... I've seen her flirt, up close. This ain't that. Look, as may be the world's leading authority on 'waiting too long', don't. I guess you both deserve this.'' That said Steve walks off, leaving a perplexed Ethen behind. -I already slept with her what did he mean?-

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Sometime later, everybody sits around a table on Starks expensive Italian leather sofas, as Clint Barton staring at Thor's hammer suddenly states. ''But, it's a trick!''

''Oh, no...'' Thore tells him across the table. ''... It's much more than that.''

''Uh, 'Whosoever be he worthy shall have the power!'...'' Clint decides Thor mockingly before saying. ''Whatever man! It's a trick.''

''Well please, be my guest.''

Shocked, Tony comments. ''Come on.''

Suddenly clear-eyed, Clint asks. ''Really?''

Nodding Thor says. ''Yeah!'' As Barton gets up, Pikapool rises to the challenge but gets shocked by the hammer even before touching it.

Seeing the electrocuted mouse James Rhodes comments. ''Oh this is gonna be beautiful.''

''Clint, you've had a tough week, we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up.'' Comments Stark getting everybody except Barton to laugh.

''You know I've seen this before, right?...''That said, Barton tries to casually grab Thor's hammer, but is unable to lift it. Looking at Thor after he fails to lift it from the table, he says. ''... I still don't know how you do it.''

Once again Tony mocks. ''Smell the silent judgment?''

Sitting down, Clint gestures at the hammer. ''Please, Stark, by all means.''

Seeing Stark get up from the sofa, Natasha comments. ''Oh, here we go.''

Hering varying comments from the others, Tony says. ''Never one to shrink from an honest challenge.''

''Less talking, more lifting.'' Mocks Clint.

Shooting her friend an evil look, Natasha tells him. ''Shut up Clint, don't encourage him.''

Walking up to the hammer Tony states. ', It's simple physics.''

''Physics!''Laughs Banner, as Stark grasp Thor's hammer.

Holding on to the Mjolnir, not trying to lift it, Tony asks. ''Right, so, if I lift it, I...I then rule Asgard?''

''Yes, of course.'' Tells him, Thor.

''I will be re-instituting Prima Nocta...'' Stark says, not trying to lift the hammer but fails. ''... I'll be right back...''

Minutes later he wears his armored hand, once again trying to lift the hammer again and fails. Next, up Tony and James both wear their armored hands, as they both try to lift it.

Irritated James asks Tony. ''Are you even pulling?''

''Are you on my team?'' Asks Tony back.

''Just represent! Pull!''

''Alright, let's go!'' Says Tony as they both pull as hard as they can.

Next up, Banner tries to lift the hammer, he roars trying to change to the Hulk but fails, and everyone but Betty stares at him warily, as his she grins.

Following Bruce, Steve gets up to try.

''Let's go, Steve, no pressure.'' Comments Stark visibly nervous, same as James, who says. ', Come on, Cap.''

As Steve starts pulling on the hammer, he manages to budge it a little. Seeing that, Thor looks a little alarmed, but relaxes, seeing that Steve still fails to lift it. Seeing Steve give up, Thor laughs with relief. ''Nothing.''

Looking around, Tony looks at Ethen, who is still all touchy and sitting behind Natasha. ''And?''

Looking at Ethen, Bruce asks. ''Wayne?''

Looking at both men, Ethen starts playing with Natashas hair, saying. ''Oh, no no. That's not a question I need to be answered.''

''All deference to the man who wouldn't be king, but it's rigged.'' Concludes Tony.

Taking a sip of his beer, Clint agrees to say. ''You bet your ass.''

Seeing Natasha being openly intimate Maria Hill asks her. ''Come on, Nat have your boyfriend give it a try.''

Blushing, Nat leans back into Ethens embrace asking him cutely. ''Pretty please...''

''Your wish is my command...'' Says Ethen, before giving her a kiss and standing up telling Thor. ''... But I don't want Asgard and if I break your hammer, it will be on you.''

Taking a sip of his hard liquor, Thor smiles, saying. ''Sure.''

As Ethen steps up to the hammer, Tony asks Thor. ''The handle's imprinted, right? Like a security code. 'Whosoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints' is, I think, the literal translation?''

Seeing Ethen touch the hammer, Thor smirks saying. ''Yes, well that's, uh, that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one...'' Thor is shocked, Seeing Ethen lift his hammer casually with one hand, flipping it with ease.

Smirking at everybody, Ethen continues Thor's sentence. '' I guess you're right. They are all not worthy.''

That said, a chorus of disagreement from the others. Inbetween all the disagreeing voices, Ethen hears Pikapool now totally drunk say. ''I don't feel that good... (Puking noises)... Can we go home now?''

Seeing the drunk mouse fall from the second floor, Ethen catches him mid-flight.

''I think that's it...'' Says Natasha to everybody before clarifying. ''... Our friend here is drunk and it is already getting late.''

Fifteen minutes later Ethen opens up a Multiverse Gate in front of everybody after they have said their goodbyes to everybody. Just as the three of them have stepped through the Gate, it vanishes and loud screeching noise, causing everyone to cover their ears sounds out. As the sound fades, everybody lets their hands down as Ultron shows up saying. ''Worthy... No... How could you be worthy? You're all killers.''