Chapter 130: Tomoe Mami
Mami Tomoe.
An ordinary 15 year old girl. Three years ago, she and her family got into an accident. While her parents took the brunt force of it that caused them to die immediately, the young girl on the backseat has only sustained injuries enough to keep her barely alive.
Barely, because she's about to die soon.
"Do you want to live?"
Like her last light of hope, a white fox appeared just above the tilted car. Its voice seemed specially cleared for her, leading her will to survive to burn fiercer.
The internal hemorrhage that she's experiencing made breathing laborious, which hindered her speech organs as well. Blood tricked down from her mouth, her body feeling in severe pain as if she's burning in lava.
Still, her will to live surpassed anything else.
"I.... want to... live."
Just as she said that, her pain disappeared like a dream. Her injuries were healed very thoroughly thanks to the regenerative abilities of a Mahou Shoujo, or simply Magical Girl.
She thought that she was dreaming at first, but she instinctively knew that everything is real—the accident happened, her parents died, and she's the only one alive. What she didn't knew back then is that... everything is no longer the same as before.
*****
'...What?'
Mami's mind went blank upon witnessing the shocking turn of events.
She... couldn't handle it anymore.
'I...I...'
Years of fighting against Witches. Years of exercising justice and helping others, just as an ideal Magical Girl would. She made it her entire purpose in life...
No, it IS her life.
She no longer has family to return to; nor any friends in her school. She lost her chance in society once she accepted Kyuubey's offer. As her way of coping, she made "Credens Justiciam" (Believing in Justice) her way of life.
She helped when needed.
She eliminates Witches before they cause harm.
She guides newer Magical Girls.
She serves as the ideal "Senpai", the idol of many Magical Girls.
But this time...
She gives up.
'What is happening..?'
At one moment, she was about to shoot herself, her Soul Gem to be exact. She wanted to free herself from this miserable fate that she got forced into.
She didn't have a choice.
Either, she'll live and become a Magical Girl or die at that time. With her strong desire to live, she became one—her magical power, the ribbons, symbolized "life".
'Shiro-san..?'
Mami tried recalling what happened. She summoned forth her one-time use muskets, Shiro appeared right behind her, and then.... As he hugged her, he slashed down his sword that shone with black light before being tied by Madoka's bindings.
'What..?' She thought.
A second later, he spurted out blood from his mouth before he became unconscious. However, blood dripped down in huge amounts even after that, which stained her Magical Girl outfit.
It didn't take long before half of her white outfit got tainted in red.
"W...hy?" She muttered in a cracked voice—tears started to flow down once more from her face.
She didn't notice Madoka panicking and Kaede shouting angrily as she's locked in her own thoughts. The only thing that remained in her mind is the events that happened just now.
All this time, she's alone. If not for the fact that she immersed herself into that philosophy of hers, she would've long turned into a Witch. If not for her pride as a Magical Girl, she's nothing.
She fought battles both physically and mentally in the span of years. It might not look that long in the eyes of the others, but hovering between life and death for a long time is... exhausting. More so, she found out yesterday that she did face one of the biggest dangers without her knowing...
...
(A/N: triple dots symbolizes a flashback; five asterisks signifies a scene change. Just to make it less confusing.)
Kyuubey, the one who she trusted the most, lied to her.
"Witches are former Magical Girls..?" She kept murmuring it mentally after her meeting with Shiro, and only when she's alone in her apartment did she said it out loud.
"Kyuubey." She called out before the white fox appeared right beside her. "Is it true?"
"..."
While it kept its silence, she asked once more:
"Is it true? That... Magical Girls become Witches?"
This time, she isn't met with silence.
"That? It's true."
Three words.
THREE WORDS. Yet she hadn't expected those three words were enough to devastate her.
Anger first overcame her. Turning one of her ribbons into a musket, she fired it at Kyuubey, turning it to a bloodied mush of flesh as it plopped down the floor. The musket turned back into a ribbon before dissipating.
Plop-!
Like a broken doll with its string cut, Mami fell down to the floor. The puppeteer is no longer here, leaving its broken puppet alone.
The silence in this room is soon filled with her despair-filled sobs.
"Hick... Hick..."
Is it a lie?
Her life, whom she dedicated as a Magical Girl, is a lie. The moment she took that contract, her fate became inevitable. That is, dying without having a grave.
She would become a Witch that will be hunted by others for her Grief Seed.
She would be killed inside a labyrinth by one of the Witches in this city.
These are her only possible ends, which answered her question:
It is.
"No... No... It isn't..!"
Despite the obvious answers in front of her, she ignored it. Mami thought that everything is just a dream, that everything would turn back to normal soon. She, just like her past, deluded herself to live.
With this, she lived another day. She acted normally, hunting down another Witch with Sayaka and Madoka's help. While their powers are below a Magical Girl's, it's a pleasant surprise for her.
Though, she didn't expect to see another surprise after asking about Shiro's experiment.
This is a flaw on her thinking. A part of her wanted for everything to end, and it only got stronger after seeing Kaede's situation.
She's tired of it.
Slowly, her delusions crumbled.
"I'm glad." She muttered, thinking about Madoka and Sayaka's fate if they did become like her.
One of the reasons why her mentality hasn't crumbled is due to this relief. If she did push them into becoming one and knew about this, only Madokami and Homura knows what would've happened.
That thought is so terrible that her relief became greater due to it.
Now that they, Sayaka and Madoka, didn't become a Magical Girl, they wouldn't have to suffer the same fate as hers. She only has to end it and...
...
"Why..?"
Mami asked once more in a low voice. Alas, the one that she's asking to couldn't answer her right now. She felt his body temperature, which is insanely high as of the moment. He became even hotter once Madoka casted her "Heal" runes.
'No...'
She couldn't accept that someone is dying... because of her. The guilt started flowing from her heart, making her already disoriented eyes even more lost.
Suddenly, her hand touched Shiro's, breaking her out from this.
"No."
She is still lost, depressed, and suicidal, but she won't allow Shiro to lose his life after saving her. Even if she plans to kill herself after Shiro answers her question, her mind was brought back to reality—to heal Shiro with her power.
That's how she is; a responsible person.
Holding his left hand while bound, Mami's regeneration power kicked in. It served to empower Shiro's [Phenex's Regeneration], healing his severe internal damage faster.
Though, what Mami didn't expect is that... she'll feel warmth from him—both literally and figuratively. Somehow, she had an image of him patting her head as he mouthed some words to her.
Not knowing what to do, she remained standing in a daze while her surroundings became chaotic...
*****
A/N: I tried to keep it heavy or dark for this chapter. I saw Suicide Hunter's writing style, and I saw how it can easily invoke the readers' emotions. Though, I don't know if I succeeded or not...
Fact #80: Miki Sayaka's story is referenced to Hans Christian Andersen's work, the Little Mermaid. She did everything for her love, only to not meet him again. In Sayaka's case, it happened once she became a Witch. In the first place, the reason why she took the form of a Mermaid, hence her Mermaid Witch nickname, is due to this.