C11. First Night A Wolf

Jossie's POV:

     I woke up with a sudden jolt. A pain ate away at me. I knew instantly it was the cause of my awakening. It forced its way up my spine and straight into my head. I broke out into a soft cry that echoed off walls surrounding me. I was in severe pain. I knew this was it... the last time I will ever feel different from the rest of my species. I was changing.

     A burning sensation took over the same spot Matthew had bit me at in the truck. It itched like there was something on my skin. I couldn't- I couldn't dare touch it. A fear crossed my mind that it was the cause of all this. But it was a fairy tale I told myself. This was the cause of my birth right. Despite the agitation forming on my skin... I could tell this was the beginning of the change.

'You'll not enjoy being bound in clothes.'

I have to take them off. It was time.

     I reached over my body and was grateful for what I chose. It would be easy to take off of me. I pulled up the crop top. It caused me to see my skin graying in color. It was tightening around my ribs. I could hear one of them being crushed under the pressure. I screamed in fear. But my endorphins finally kicked in and I was no longer in pain. I took off the rest of my clothes.

     I was excited. Every moment I blinked I felt closer to her, my wolf. I felt her around me. I smelled her there. I felt safe with her. Jude appeared every time I shut my eyes. I could see her spirit form sitting beside me. She was void of any color. Her eyes reflected my pearl-like ones. It was of my own imagination. I couldn't see her, but I smelled her there. Her scent was strong and connected us as one.

     When I opened my eyes, she was gone, and I was back to suffering through the horrors of transformation. The morphing between my human form and wolf would start inwards and fight to get out. My body would break down before growing anew. I felt like I had released myself. I let go of my control I've had over it all these years. I allowed it to take on a new form. I couldn't bare looking down at myself while it happened.

     I glanced around at my surroundings instead. I tried to remember how I got here. A lamp lit the dark walls of a cave. I recognized Casimir's clothes that were folded up neatly by a bag. He was nowhere in sight. His scent led me to believe if I followed it- I would find my way out of the cave. Of course, it was his scent that was surrounding me. Casimir's scent smelled dominant. Like an alpha's scent. This was something I couldn't pick up on before. His scent screamed he was of the opposite gender as mine which made me feel instantly more attractive to him. His scent was fresh... he just left me.

     There was something else I picked up on... a sense he wasn't that much older than me. I couldn't believe I picked up on so much knowledge from a scent. He smelled stressed about something. I knew this because as I smelled his scent I picked up on the feelings. Was he worried for me? I wanted to go to him... and tell him I made it. I became a wolf too.

     I now realized the difference in Casimir's scent vs Jude's. I smelled Jude as a vision of myself. She wasn't actually here. But Casimir smelled alive. He smelled closer to this plain of existence then Jude. This made me feel comforted. I could tell Jude will always be with me. Whereas Casimir could come and go as he pleased.

'Look down.'

     As ordered, I glanced down. My final change had happened. It passed by so fast once I learned to just let it happen. I was now staring at my midnight-colored paws. The color ran up my legs. I was an animal now. I felt anxiety wash over my body. I took my first step. Carefully arranging my legs. I was strong enough to stay up. My fur looked sticky. Like a transparent oil came with my new form. What is it? It had no scent. I'd ignore it for now as I tried walking. Once I discovered how simple it was... I pushed myself forward to follow Casimir's scent.

     The further uphill I walked the walls became dirt and grew tight around my body. I realized Casimir brought me into a burrow that had been deep underground. I found the entrance covered in snow. It was a light layer to dig through. Casimir must've covered it when he left. I wish he had stayed with me and waited for me to wake up.

     I looked up first. The sky was hard to see through the top of the trees. But I saw the moon's glow. It was coming up into the sky to watch over us. Casimir's scent was long gone. The snow covered up any trace of him being here. I felt disappointed.

     'He's already gone. We better be on our way too. Burry the borrow and we will come back later if we don't see him tonight.' Jude's voice rung in my ears. She sounded wise to me. I knew instantly she was right on what to do. I'd listen to her. I buried the borrow until I couldn't distinguish where it was in front of me. I glanced around in excitement. It was my first time as a wolf.

     'Jude, I can't be caught by any of the pack members of Deepfur. I'll stay close to the borrow and wait for Casimir to come back.'

     'What are you doing out of it if you don't want to be caught?'

     'He should be nearby. I'm going to try to find him. If I don't see any signs of him... I'll come back and wait inside.' I thought that's what we just discussed. Why was I repeating what she suggested? Go out and come right back if there aren't any signs of him. The snow on my paws sent a shiver through my body. But it was the only way I sensed cold... besides on my ears. 'Casimir smelled like a rogue to Nathalie. Why doesn't he smell like it to me?' I couldn't help but ask for her advice.

     'I smell nothing but rogue.' She sounded a little annoyed with me. I felt bad for asking her. But why doesn't his scent at least warn me of him?

     'Is he, my mate?' She has to be honest with me. If he's my mate and that's why I feel so attracted to him... the least she can do is tell me. If he's my mate- she's supposed to be screaming in joy. I would be the luckiest wolf alive if it's true. Not many people find their mate- let alone on their first night as a wolf. She snorted as she laughed in my head. She was laughing at me?! I felt heartbroken to hear she found humor in my question.

     'No! Don't stoop so low, Josephine Cromwell. Your mate is written in the stars to be a strong leader. And, that guy is not your mate. Her words stung in my heart. I felt disappointed. He seemed to have meant well bringing me out to the woods. The burrow must have been soundproofed... 'Your mate will be noticeable. You will know when you find him.' I guess she's right... I don't think it could be him. 'Jossie, no more talk about mates. Let's try to enjoy tonight. Let's go for a run.'

     I couldn't agree more. I'm finally a wolf and all I've done so far is make my way out of a burrow. I had to put the thought of a mate aside tonight. I need to grow stronger first. I'll find Casimir before he can find me. Maybe, it will impress him. And- when I find him, I will make him confess everything. Surely, he can explain what he's doing trespassing on Deepfur's land. And, why he'd help me. He's not my mate... What gives him the right to bud into my life? It's like he was a stalker. He just happened to wonder into the diner while I was there. He's a rogue... I don't know if I can trust him. I really want to like him. He's been so nice... Just like Nathalie. I want to trust him.

     A gut feeling pointed me forward. I'd race off into a slow trot until it grew from there. I was running on all fours before I knew it. I was catching on fast. It felt natural to be in this form. I felt like this was the real me. I wasn't bound anymore by society. I could do whatever I wanted. I couldn't help myself as I slowly forgot myself. Instincts kicked in. I was starving. The scent of blood drew me towards a bush drenched with it. The fresh droplets meant something was injured nearby. Maybe it was Casimir. I couldn't move as I was locked on the scent of blood. I sensed it was a young elk. Probably too hard to take on alone. It wasn't Casimir this time. I decided not to follow the fresh scent of blood.

     Instead, I took off in a different direction to avoid the unwanted attention. The scent of blood had ripped a new hole in my stomach. I felt drool escaping from my mouth. I was envious I couldn't join on a fresh kill. I slammed my feet into the snow as I wondered what could have taken down an arctic elk. It had to be more than one wolf out here to hunt it down.

     My feet came to a halt. It was like I wasn't in control anymore. Hunger was taking over. My ears locked in on the sounds of a squeak nearby. It sounded like a small vole. Its squeak turned into a scream. I could hear not far from me the sound of wings and the drop of snow falling off a tree branch. I felt my heart leap as my hunger controlled me. In a few swift movements- I was focused on the hunt. I pushed past a few thick patches of dead trees. Once in the area I was able to locate a snowy owl sitting on the branch just within my sight. The owl for sure had just taken the vole's life. The tail was still hanging out of its mouth. The owl's piercing eyes met with my own. I knew instantly she wasn't afraid. The female owl took off to the sky and left me sinking in the shadow of the tree.

     'You'll never catch anything being this loud,' Jude sneered out through my mind. I felt my heart sink as I stumbled through the snow.

     'I could use some encouragement,' I thought.

     'Wait...' her warning voice made my breathing pause. 'Something big is coming.'

I glanced around with a wary feeling. A new scent came from behind me. I instantly picked up on the scent being similar to Casimir. It was his wolf-scent. The same one I picked up on back at the burrow.

     I felt my hair stand up as I felt watched. I wasn't sure why until I saw something coming towards me. It was a wolf like me. But I met this wolf before. I recognized its brown fur as well as the spine which was covered in unique pepper and salt like patches. This was the same wolf that attacked Matthew.

     I widened my wolf eyes and bounced into motion. I ran away from it as my heart rushed in my chest. This was the same wolf I smelled. That being Casimir's wolf! That makes him the same person-wolf who attacked my uncle.

     'That's Casimir! This means Casimir is the wolf that attacked Matthew back at the house!' I explained. If he's here, then maybe Matthew is dead?! If he killed my uncle then what if... 'What if he killed my father too?'

     'I guess that explains what he's doing bringing you out here! He must want to kill you next!'

     My heart sank.

     I really wanted him to be different.

     I wanted him to be a good guy.

     I even believed he wanted to help me.

     Did he take me into the burrow to kill me?!

     I heard a frustrated growl come from him as he reached the spot I bounced from. He slipped in the snow as he changed directions to keep coming after me. I could make out the movements as if they were my own. The sounds were so familiar. He was growling like a monster. It was terrifying. It gave me fuel to keep running from him.

     Moon, please give me the strength to outrun my father's killer.

     Like an answer to my prayer, I heard Casimir falling behind. I wasn't sure if it was because I was outrunning him. I came to a stop to try to catch my breath. I looked behind me to see him out of my sight. I couldn't even hear him chasing me anymore. I lowered my ears slightly as I felt something was off. What if he's injured? Did he twist a leg and strain it? I shook my tail in happiness. I had outran my first rogue! But, I didn't feel it was over. I wasn't about to run back and help him. To me... he deserved it.

     'Which way do I need to go to get back to the motel?' I asked Jude. I shut my eyes and smelled the air. I could sense she was circling me and smelling the air. I opened my eyes to take a glance at the sky for any star coordinates.

     'This way,' Jude howled out to me. 'We're not far from city limits.' I closed my eyes to smell which way she'd guide me. It was the direction I was going. 'We can figure out which way to go when we reach the main road.' I'll get back to the motel and search for Nathalie. She can't be far from that area. She'll be worried about me. I'll tell her Casimir is the same wolf that attacked my uncle. I'll tell her he's the killer. I'll take her up on her offer and go with her to the pack house and speak to the alpha of Deepfur. I guess... I'll have to call home. Will they apologize when I tell them I know who the real killer is? If I hand over Casimir... will I finally be accepted back home? I'm no longer wolf-less... I'm not a monster. I'm a regular girl and I found the killer.