10

Time flew by really fast. It's already December 19th. The day before Lily's birthday. School's in session already, and Lily and I are already in our third and last year of high school. I feel old, but at the same time, I feel like I haven't aged a bit.

The Hanabi festival will forever be the most memorable moment for us. It wasn't our most recent outing, but it was a really special moment to us.

Some things really didn't change though. The entire school is still fanboying/fangirling over the almighty Lily, with even the new first years swooning in the halls from her appearance. Same old thing, just a different day.

However, my mom keeps on bringing up something about numbers on top of people's heads and if I can see them or not. I'm not sure if it's a prank or not, but she's been going at it with me for some time now. My answer was always just "No," or "What are you talking about?" though.

She's probably messing with me like how she always does. If she is, my mom is a great actor. It seems like she's serious, but that sounds like something straight out of an anime. Like I'd be lucky enough to get superpowers like that.

Speaking of my mom, she baked a cake for Lily's birthday tomorrow! That's probably what I'm the most excited for. I got her a gift and tried to wrap it as nicely as possible, but I didn't go all out because knowing her, she would get angry at me for "spending too much money on her."

I'm going to head over to her house in a bit to drop off the cake, and spend some time with her before her birthday. I'll leave her present on my desk so I can give it to her on her actual birthday though.

Quickly texting her to make sure it was okay to head over to her house, I prepared to leave my house.

"See you soon, Doofus!" was her last text to me. I looked out my bedroom window, and snow was already piling up on the sidewalks. The time on my alarm clock said 4:55 in bright red numbers. I better get going soon.

Opening my closet, I found some layers and my puffy winter jacket. Hopefully it'll keep me warm on the way over. Zipping up my jacket as I walked downstairs, my mom called out to me from the kitchen.

"OH! Perfect timing, are you going over to Lily's right now?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to bring the cake over now?"

"Yes please! I just finished preparing and boxing it! Ahhh I hope she likes it!"

"Hahah. I'm sure she'll love it, Mom. Thank you again for taking the time to make this. It will mean a lot to her."

"Oh it's nothing! Lily is such a sweet girl, she deserves a sweet treat on her special day."

"I'll head out now, Mom."

I put on my snow boots and scarf, and carefully holding the neatly wrapped cake in one hand, I opened the front door with the other. I smiled and waved goodbye to my mom before leaving the house. There's still some daylight, and Lily only lives about 4-6 blocks away, so walking in the snow isn't that dangerous.

The crunch of the snow under my boots was kind of satisfying as I left footprints behind with each step I took. On another note, I made sure to keep the cake secure with both of my hands around it. Wouldn't want something bad to happen to it.

The air was freezing cold, but my body was warm under all my layers. It was a good thing I wore my puffy jacket in this cold weather. Even with all the layers under, I would've frozen in this weather.

My distracted thoughts disappeared as I finally reached the gates to Lily's home. I opened the gate and rang the doorbell to her house. As I waited for someone to answer the door, I stomped my feet to get some of the snow off my boots. And to get some feeling back in my toes.

Lily's mom opened the door and invited me into the house. Before entering, I took off my snow-encrusted shoes, then carefully placed the birthday cake on the kitchen table.

"My mom asked if this can be kept in the fridge until the party tomorrow."

"Sure! Your mom is such a sweetheart for baking the cake for us. Why don't you bring Lily down? She said she was gonna take a nap in her room while she waits for you. Though she hasn't come down since she said that. I'm going to head to the store with her dad to buy her a present. If you don't mind, can you keep her company?"

I smiled and agreed while saying a quick, "Thank you" to Mrs. Evergreen before heading up the stairs. However, it was strange that Lily was waiting for me in her room. Like, there was no reason not to come downstairs to greet me

The house was quiet and calm. You could hear the creaking of the floorboards as I walked up the stairs to Lily's room. Based on my previous memory, her room was the last door to the right of the hallway.

Before entering, I knocked on the door to make sure I wouldn't burst in on an awkward situation.

"Lily? Can I come in?"

"..."

No response.

I knocked on the door once more, but to no avail. She really is a heavy sleeper… But entering her room to wake her up? Isn't that something that a boyfriend would do?

In any case, I should wake her up anyway. I knock on her door again.

"Lily? Wake up, dummy. Or else I'm coming in. I mean it."

There's no response again. I kinda don't want to enter her room. Isn't that kind of like a breach of privacy? Then again, her mom did say to wake her up. I really have no choice.

I gently slid open the door.

As the door creaked open, something gently bumped into my feet.

Prepared to see some jack-in-the-box prank spring out at me, I kept my guard up as I glanced down towards the impact.

Two empty glass bottles? I picked one up and a few small, white objects rolled out.

Oh no. I have a really bad feeling about this.

Glancing at the bottle, I skimmed the label:

TYLENOL®

Directions:

Do not take more than directed (see Overdose Warning)

2 tablets every 4-6 hours while symptoms last.

Do not exceed 10 tablets per 24 hours, unless directed by a doctor.

Do not use for more than 10 days, unless directed by a doctor.

Contains:

50 tablets (25 doses)

I looked down at the less than 5 tablets rolling on the floor.

2(50) - 5 = …

Do not exceed 10 tablets…

Oh no. Please no. Please say what I'm thinking didn't happen. There's no way there were less than 15 tablets in both bottles combined. I slammed the door open, revealing the room inside.

It was empty.

".....Lil-"

An arm.

Just a single, pale arm peeking out from around her bed.

Apprehensive of what I was going to see, I slowly moved towards the arm.

"Lily, if this is a prank, it's not-"

There she was. On the floor with little bits of foam on her lips. Multiple pill bottles and pills were scattered all around her.

It can't be.

She never revealed any suspicious signs in the past few days. That's why I can't believe what my eyes are showing me. This shouldn't have happened.

I suppressed the urge to puke. Why would she do this? What could I have done to prevent this? I know there must have been some way I could've prevented this! No, wait. This isn't some game where I can reset and try something different. I can't go back anymore. What's done is done.

I only had one chance to live happily with her, and I ruined it. And now I'll carry this guilt with me until I die. I can never take it back. Never.

Cough

A sudden cough snapped me out of my depressing thoughts.

"LILY!"

She's not dead! There's still a chance I can save her! Didn't that bottle say something about what to do in case of an overdose? Where's that bottle?!

I dove to the floor. Where did I drop that bottle? I know it must be somewhere around here.

"FOUND IT!"

Now, where's that Overdose Warning? Why is the bottle shaking so much? Oh. It's my hands. I can't stop trembling. Why can't I stop? I need to read the help part of the label.

A water droplet splashed down on the bottle and slid to the floor. Followed by another. And another. Then I couldn't stop crying. The tears kept pouring down.

"N-N-No. S-Stop it. Pull yourself together. You're Mr. Mysterio. There's gotta be some way to save her in one of your secrets."

I furiously scrubbed my eyes with my sleeve. This is no time to be crying. Lily needs me.

Ok. Now what should I do? Tell me, Mr. Medicine Bottle. Tell me how to save the person I love more than myself.

Overdose Warning: In case of overdose, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away. (1-800-222-1222)

Quick medical attention is critical for adults as well as for children even if you do not notice any signs or symptoms.

Phone. Where's my phone? I checked my pockets. Bingo.

I tried to input the number into my phone, but my shaky hands keep on dialing the wrong numbers. I grabbed my hand with my other hand to try and stop my shaking hands, but that made it worse. Now, both my hands started shaking even more uncontrollably. My phone fell on the carpet and bounced a few times.

I looked at Lily's limp body and quickly scooped her up in my arms so she could rest upon my lap. Please don't die. Not here. Not now. I can't let this happen. I WON'T let this happen.

I should call her parents; they need to know. I grabbed my phone from where it had fallen and frantically scrolled through my contacts list, but I don't have their numbers. How can I tell them if I can't call them? A glint of light on the dresser caught my eye. Instantly, I knew how to call them.

I carefully laid Lily's cold body down and lunged for Lily's phone.

Forgive me for snooping in your phone, Lily, but overlook this once when you're better, okay? We can talk about everything once I get you professional help and stabilize your condition. Stay strong, Lily.

The only thing blocking me was the passcode on her phone. I had hoped there wouldn't be one, but no luck. Pacing back and forth in the room while quickly checking Lily's pulse from time to time, I tried to think of every possible numerical digit password she could've used.

I tried her birthday, no luck. I tried 123456, no luck. I tried even all the complicated passcodes I knew, but to no avail.

Stumped and now locked out of her phone for 30 minutes, I threw it aside. I'll search her room for any clues to open it I guess.

Then again, what am I thinking? I can just use the emergency phone to call the emergency department. My mind is a mess and I can't process everything at once, but I slowly started to recollect my thoughts. Quickly, I grabbed my phone off the floor to dial for help.

This time, my shaking was slightly less than before and I was able to successfully dial 1-1-9 on my phone.

The slowness of the rings increased my anxiety and I was uncontrollably tapping my feet on the floor until a calm, soothing, female voice spoke to me.

"1-1-9 what's your emergency?"

My anxiety started to subside, but not enough. I frantically spoke to the dispatcher, stumbling over my words.

"There has been a major accident. M-My friend is dying. Please send help. I don't think she can make it. Overdose? Yes. Overdose. Please send help."

"Please calm down. What is your name, and where are you located right now?"

I gave the dispatcher my full name and the address to Lily's house. I also told her where her parents were and that we were home alone.

"Help is on the way, don't worry. Can you check on your friend for me? How is she right now?"

I gripped Lily's wrist and placed two fingers on the artery, trying to find a pulse. There was a pulse, but it was very faint.

"S-She still has a pulse, but it's really weak."

"Okay hon. What I want you to do is to routinely check up on her, and stay on the phone with me. Can you do that?"

"Y-y-yes I can. She's lying face up on the floor of her bedroom."

"Okay, that's good to hear. Can you check her pulse again?"

I checked her pulse once more. This time, it was weaker than when I checked it a couple minutes ago.

"Her pulse is weaker than before."

"Thank you for letting me know. An ambulance and the police will show up at the front door of the house soon, can you quickly run downstairs and unlock the front door for them?"

"Yes, of course. I'll be right back."

Setting the phone down, I quickly ran downstairs, unlocked the front door, and ran back to Lily's room where I last placed my phone.

"I'm back, and I unlocked the door like you asked."

"..."

Silence.

"Hello…"

"..."

More silence answered me. I checked my phone, and just by luck, my phone died mid call while I was away for a couple of seconds to unlock the front door.

I kneeled down next to Lily and leaned her on her bed frame. I was afraid she might choke on her foam, so I also wiped her mouth as well.

I gripped her hands and felt her icy cold hands. Stay strong Lily, help is on the way, just a little longer. Stay with me.

I stood back up and walked away from Lily, trying to find something of use that could help her. Anything.

As I was searching near her desk, something caught my eye. There was a piece of notebook paper peeking out from the drawer. I carefully tugged it out.

I scrambled to unfold it, almost ripping the paper in the process. A note. From Lily?? It seems like it was for me. I sat down next to Lily so I could routinely check her pulse and to see if she's still breathing. Then, I start to read the crumpled up paper:

~-~-~-~-~

Mysterio, I learned that there's way more to the expression "I love you" than what most people know. It is selfishness; it is a want for you and only you; it is a need for your affection. It is jealousy that flares up whenever I see you close to someone other than me; a poison that seeps into my mind and forces me to make decisions against my better judgment; a self-deprecating comparison between myself and those you talk to. To put it in simpler terms (if it is even possible to describe such a complex feeling in words), it is passion.

And yes, I felt all of that, but love was mostly something others gave me, not something I could ever say back...until I met you. Just remembering your smile brings a smile to my face as well. It brings a feeling of wanting to see you again and again and again. Even if we just parted one second ago. I don't ever see you smile at school, but when you're with me, I always see a little smirk on the side of your mouth. I get anxious when I'm alone. When I'm not able to see you. I don't know how you manage to put up with my hyper energy. I know we became very close considering we only knew each other for such a short amount of time, but the events I've experienced with you will forever be imprinted in my soul.

From you geeking on your games, to the small little habits I catch you doing. The simplest things would always make me happy, as long as you were the one to do it.

Makoto Saito:, from the bottom of my heart:

I love you.

I love you.

I will always love you.

~-~-~-~-~

Tears filled my eyes and flowed down my face. That was the first time she ever called me by my name since the festival. I didn't realize…I didn't realize how much I meant to her. I didn't realize how she felt about me. I thought I was the only one who felt that way.

One of my tears hit the paper and soaked it through. I tried to rub the water away, but of course I knew it was pointless. But that act of misfortune also led to a new discovery. The paper turned translucent where the droplet had landed, revealing words on the backside of the paper.

Instantly, I flipped the paper over, my trembling hands almost dropping it. There was another note for me. I scrubbed my eyes to get rid of the tears and started to read:

~-~-~-~-~

Makoto, I can't do this anymore. I tried so hard to stay. I tried so hard to be happy. You made me so happy. And yet, I always hurt you. You were bullied because of me. You ended up in a coma because of me. You gave me everything, and I took everything from you. The only thing I can give you is my love and my life. You never needed my love, so the only thing left to give is my life. I love you so much it hurts, yet my pain can never measure up to the pain I inflict on you by simply existing. Why is it so hard to say goodbye? Is it because I don't want you to feel more pain than you already do? Is it because I have some lingering attachment to life? No, that's impossible. My clock is slowing down; time is running out. In fact, I've known all along that we're better off as friends. I don't know how long I've been crying, but I've run out of tears. Were we ever bound by a red string of fate? If so…it must have been a frayed and torn thread that snapped a long time ago. Thank you for these last 300 days of bliss. I love you, Makoto. Goodbye.

~-~-~-~-~

300 days…300 days…Why does that phrase sound so familiar? No…why does that phrase LOOK familiar? Now isn't a good time to think about this. There's no way I can think of anything in this state.

It suddenly hit me. The things my mom mentioned: the numbers, the letters. It's all coming back to me. I'm remembering my freakish powers. I remember why I was bullied, why I moved, why I know the phrase 300 days.

I remember that Lily only had 300 days left.

I sank to the floor in despair once more, burying my face in my hands. I can't believe Lily thought this way about me. I shouldn't have waited this long. I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend tomorrow. Just one day. That's all I needed. One day. She would've known just how much I loved her if I had one day more. If she had just waited one more day.

She gave me nothing? More like I had nothing to give her. She gave me everything. A friend, a place I belonged, a lover. She gave me laughter; she gave me fun. But most of all, she gave me the hope that I could live a normal life like all the other accepted kids.

I looked above Lily's head, but there was nothing there. No numbers. No letters. Nothing to tell me when she will leave. I lost the ability to see when people die, but that doesn't matter. I don't want you to die, Lily. I want you to stay with me. Even if I get hurt.

I held Lily in my arms. Was that why you didn't answer my question at the Hanabi festival? Was that why you were sad? How could I be so oblivious to everything? I want you to be happy. I'm selfish too, Lily. I know you know that.

I started to cry. My heart is starting to hurt, causing me to pound on my chest hard. It's hurting internally. I gritted my teeth holding Lily tighter.

I wanted to hold you close like this for a long time. Not in a situation like this, but I wanted you to stay with me forever.

I cried out loud even more. My tears won't stop. My vision became blurry due to the build up of all the tears in my eyes.

Something cold touched my face and wiped away tears from one of my eye. I opened my eyes, and Lily's cold, fragile hand was on my face.

"Makoto, your face is all wet."

She smiled at me as her hand slowly fell from my face and rested on the side of her body.

"LILY. H-H-Hey! Don't talk! K-k-Keep still! Help is on the way okay??"

My voice is shaking uncontrollably. All that was coming out of my mouth was stuttering and gibberish.

I faced Lily as she was still in my arms.

"We can live happily again, Lily! W-w-we can do the s-stuff you want to do also! Wo-wo-wouldn't that be nice?"

Her eyes were half closed, but she was still here. All I saw was a half crooked smile on her face. She went against my word and whispered again.

"Maybe in another lifetime, love."

With those final words, I felt her body grow heavier. Her arm fell to the ground. I looked at Lily once more. Her eyes were open, but the colors in them disappeared. She's smiling, but it was a fixed smile.

"Lily..?"

I shook her body, but she felt like a ragdoll. My body became numb.

"No. No. No. No. Wake up Lily. Wake up…"

I held Lily's lifeless body to me closer with both of my arms wrapped around her. My best friend, my crush, my hope, is gone. Ringing was all I heard.

I'm crying uncontrollably, but I can't hear my own voice crying. Lily…I failed. I failed you. I'll make it up to you. Come back Lily. Wake up.

I rock back and forth with Lily in my arms. I'm cradling her. I can't let her go.

The ringing in my ear stopped momentarily when I heard ruckus from downstairs and multiple footsteps coming from upstairs.

The door to Lily's room was swung open by both the Medical Technicians and the police. I had Lily wrapped tight in my arms, but they slowly nudged me away from her. At this point, I felt numb. The police helped me up and started talking to me, but I blocked their voices and kept an eye on Lily.

Two people came in the room with a stretcher and put Lily on top of it, and carried her out of the room.

My pupils dilated. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. That's all I thought of. I don't believe you're gone that easily. This is all a really big dream…right? It can't be.

The police questioning me shook me slightly trying to get some answers out of me, but I was too trapped in my own inner thoughts.

Lily…I'll see you in another lifetime, and fall for you all over again. This won't be the last time I'll see you, love.