Chapter six

It's friday today and it's breaktime at school so we are in the life sciences class it is the class we use for our study group. When i told the trio that i was joining the group yesterday they felt like i was pushing them away because of all the stuff I have been through, i don't know if they are right.

They also said that I'll be making new friends and that I'll forget about them but honestly they won't even miss me because we barely hang out together during break because they all check on their boyfriends. I do not have one.

I joined the group yesterday and they were all very welcoming and kind. There are nine of us, it is three boys and six girls and they are all very friendly and the two boys are really funny they have the funniest jokes, one of them, Tumisho, said that in Limpopo(where his family is originally from and the province that has the hottest climates in South Africa) when the lights are out and you're craving tea you can just brew it under the sun and it will be ready in a matter of minutes that's how hot it is in that province.

It is one of those things you find really funny when you are present as the joke is told,I laughed really hard and almost forgot about the call i made on Wednesday and how that hurt me. It was all i could think about and i hope i don't see him for about a month because I'm really not ready to face him. And things became a bit awkward when Martha, one of the girls asked me about the facebook post, Jason gave her a look and i gave him a small smile assuring him that it was fine "i can't avoid the topic forever, and Martha I'm grateful that you asked me directly instead of talking behind my back"

i told her how i felt at the time, and how i feel now and that it has not affected my perspective on guys and honestly it hasn't I'm just a natural lover, i feel like i was born to love and i can't paint all the guys with the same brush that i painted Caleb with i really can't do that I'm just an incurable romantic.

They were all so moved by my speech and Tumisho asked whether he stood a chance and i playfully nodded and we all burst out laughing it really didn't feel like it was my first day with them it felt like a millennium, that's how comfortable i was with them and we didn't get much done so we had to use today to push our work.

Today we chose to do accounting only because we had an assignment that was due Monday and the other guy, Kamohelo, the best in accounting class explained some of the concepts we were struggling with so effortlessly that he didn't have to repeat himself and we parted ways when the bell rang.

Afterschool i said my goodbyes to the trio and went straight to the life sciences class for the study session, and i found it empty i decided to go to the tap to wash my hands then i saw Martha. "Hey nobody's in the class yet" i tell her and she smiles at me "you're so adorable babe, there's no study session today it's Friday? The sessions are only Tuesday to Thursday? Remember?" She says while waving her hand in front of my face playfully and i burst out laughing, that completely escaped my mind "oh my, thank you girl i totally forgot" "oh it's nothing let's just get home" i nod and we both make our way out of the school yard.

We made small talk as we were heading to the gate, she's very bubbly and easy to talk to, she told me about herself, she has two siblings, an older brother and little sister and that she's the black sheep, she lives in Naledi,Soweto she's a very great dancer she loves adrenaline activities and she's a vegetarian and hates wearing the school skirt(makes the two of us) and loves piercings and tattoos, i found out that she has 17 piercings, 14 on both ears (7 on each ear), one on her nose, on her tongue and belly button but no tattoos she plans on getting her very first tattoo when she finishes high school and more piercings. Wow.

"Don't piercings hurt?" I asked her "well the nose and belly ring didn't hurt much but the tongue and the ears, Yo" she closed her eyes in agony as if rembering the pain, "the tongue only hurt for a week and i was fine but the ears it took me 7 months to heal properly" "what!" She nodded "why would you put yourself through that?" She shrugged her shoulders and said "it's the love i guess" wow, i fear pain with all my being i would never stand it for that long. She laughed at my horrified expression.

We came across Jason at the gate and he walked with us, Martha took a taxi home and it was just me and Jason i can tell now that he's warming up to me he kept the conversation going, i thought he was only book smart but i was wrong he's smart through out and i enjoy his company i hugged him goodbye and we parted ways.

When i got home i was not in the mood of reading or studying so i texted Vanessa to ask if i could visit her she replied instantly and said yes so i immediately changed into my all black Vans, black jeans and a black bralet. And went out. When i arrived outside her house at the gate i heard multiple voices and when i opened it, i wish i had stayed home.

They were chilling on the grass smoking hubbly and drinking cold beverages. I expected to find Vanessa alone or with Cathy or Meg but no it was the whole squad, it was the trio, their boyfriends and their crew and friends of friends and my eyes scanned the place for a certain somebody but he wasn't in sight so i released a breath, but another part of me felt a bit disappointed. What's wrong with me?! What happened to being done with him? I rolled my eyes at my ridiculous subconscious because she's right. I'm pathetic.

I don't know how i feel about all these people here i mean i haven't really been around them since the post and right now I'm standing here frozen not knowing what to do, i should just go, I'm not in the mood to mingle anyway as I'm about to turn around somebody calls out to me "Hazard!" It's Thabo. I've told him time and time again to stop calling me that, and finally gave up when he wasn't backing down. The name started when i had my first fight with Caleb, it was in front of them. They thought i was this sweet girl so i proved them wrong when i yelled at Caleb. That's when they said Hazel is harzadous and he said he'd start calling me Hazard and he hasn't stopped since.

I make my way to them and when i get there they all keep quiet. O-K awkward silence. "Hi guys" i say and they all greet back very awkwardly "ok guys this is very weird, for the record, I'm fine so please i don't want anyone asking whether I'm fine or not and please don't stop talking on my account. Where's Vanessa?" I ask them and Thabo responds "she's inside preparing more drinks" i nod and go look for her and when i reach the door they begin their conversation. Okay I'm the problem.

I'm really getting annoyed of these endless hangouts really, doing the same old thing every week getting wasted, hooking up and smoking. "Haze! Thought you were attending a study session?" "Thought you'd be alone?" I say dryly "come on don't be like that, my parents went to Durban for the weekend so i decided to have a chillas and i missed you, i knew if i said i had people over you wouldn't have come and i really miss you" she hugs me and i hug her back "you saw me today" i remark "you know what i mean" i roll my eyes and we both laugh and i help her take the drinks outside. She made a non-alcoholic punch and it tastes really good, but of course Thabo brought a bottle of liquor.

As we're all chilling and smoking hubbly the gate opens and of course the last person i want to see emerges and my throat constricts he's talking to someone behind him and when they both enter he walks in first a coloured girl follows behind him and she gently swats his back and they both laugh of course he'd be here with a girl, possibly the one who answered his phone on Wednesday. His eyes rest on mine and i can't read his expression. Classy.

They both greet everyone and i can see everyone stealing glances at me they think i don't notice but i do and i decide to keep quiet. The girl is wearing white denim shorts, a white converse and a yellow crop top with her hair in a tight and perfectly gelled bun. And she's really beautiful. She takes out a joint and asks to ignite it on the charcoal of the hubbly and starts smoking.

She is very friendly and that's what annoys me more and pushes me to say "excuse me, hi" i click my fingers annoyingly at her and she looks at me with both brows raised, "can you move and smoke over there please, your weed smells horrible" she gives me a puzzled look "you're kidding right?" She asks me with a light chuckle "do i sound like I'm kidding to you?" "Whoa girl what's your problem the hubbly smell masks the weed smell and nobody else has a problem so i won't move for you" she says as she keeps smoking.

"Argh whatever you can stay here" i get up abruptly and head inside the house and footsteps follow me it's Vanessa. "Haze what's wrong?" She questions "What's wrong Ney is that, you, my best friend invite me here to your house while you know exactly that you invited that bastard out there and he makes fun of me with that ridiculous looking girlfriend of his! How could you do that to me?! How could you betray me like that?" I yell at her "what! I didn't betray you! I asked Thabo not to tell him they were coming here, even if he'd known they were coming here there's nothing i can do because he's friends with them, i really didn't know he'd be here, you think I'd do that to you? You know how i feel about him" she yells back.

"Well I'm leaving then!" I threaten "Then leave!" She yells again, what? "Argh I'm sorry Ney, just seeing him with another girl made me really mad I'm really sorry for taking it out on you" i tell her and start crying and she hugs me "It's ok Haze," i sniffle and look at her "i really can't be here they probably think I'm crazy, especially that girl I'll be going now" "or you could stay and show him that you don't need him" "i don't know Ney..." "yes you do just stay and let's have fun please" she pleads and i finally nod and we head outside.

When we go back outside, i decide to apologise to the girl she really didn't do anything wrong to me i shouldn't be punishing her for Caleb's doings. "Uhm hey" i call her to the side and she rolls her eyes but comes, "uhm I'm sorry girl i didn't mean what i said to you" "It's fine I'd probably do the same if i were in your shoes" she says with her high pitched voice it's really annoying, wait she said she'd do the same if she were in my shoes meaning she knows about me, but i ask anyway, "what do you mean?" "If my ex who i still love did what KC did I'd probably act out the way you did but relax KC and i are just friends" she says.

How dare she say that? "Oh friends who sleep together?" I challenge "argh you know what? I'm not doing this" she leaves me standing alone and goes back to the group and i roll my eyes and follow her. "Let's play spin the bottle" Megan suggests and they all agree "I'm not playing" i say and Caleb's tag along mutters something under her breath and those next to her chuckle and Vanessa looks at me and mouths 'play' and i nod "on second thoughts I'll play".

The game goes on and the bottle points to me and some other guy i don't know and he kisses me longer than he has to and when we pull away from each other i look at Vanessa and she winks at me and i can't help but look at Caleb and the look on his face makes me wish i had kissed that guy for longer, he's clenching his jaw and sending a murderous glare at the guy. I give myself a pat on the back, the game continues and the bottle points to Caleb and of course his tag along, and he slowly walks to her and lifts her to sit on the table we're spinning the bottle on and stands between her legs and he takes her face in both his hands and looks at me before crashing his lips on hers, i take a drink of my punch to avoid looking at them and they don't stop he takes off her top leaving her with a sports bra and that's it i cannot watch anymore i furiously throw the cup with the punch on the grass and run to the gate and keep running as i exit.

I don't know when i started crying but i am and i can't seem to stop "Hazel!" Caleb calls me, wow I'm surprised he even followed me but i keep running "Hazel wait!" I turn around and stop "what!" I say furiously throwing my hands in the air "what do you want, Caleb? Huh? you've come to gloat in my face? Or you've got more insults to throw my way? You know what? Do your worst i promise i can take it." I say moving closer to him and he opens his mouth to say something but closes it. This is a first "oh? So your speech suddenly escaped you? Go back to your girlfriend 'KC' " i say his ridiculous nickname with all the venom i can muster. "I just wanted to see if you're ok" he has the audacity to say and i can't help but laugh.

Can this guy be anymore absurd? "Oh really? I'm fine, now get out of my face" i say and turn to walk away but he pulls me back "let me go" i try to pull out of his grasp and he let's go "what the hell is wrong with you?" He yells and i scoff "with me? You were the one kissing that girl as if the world was ending" "so what if i kissed her? You kissed that guy and i didn't say anything" "he didn't lift me on the table and undress me" i fire back and he groans "why are we even having this conversation? You and i are over get that through your head and stop acting up im not your boyfriend Hazel what's wrong with you?" just when i thought he couldn't crush me any further he proves me wrong i sniffle and wipe my tears with the back of my hand.

"What's wrong with me is that, Caleb, i love you too much for my own good i love you so much that not seeing you hurts me and seeing you hurts more than i can put into words it's just a sick concept but that's all I've got, and I'm sorry for being a nuisance in your life i promise you after today you won't see me i won't come around your crew or any of the house parties, all i ever wanted from you was for you to love me as much as i love you, but..." he suddenly grabs me and crashes his lips with mine and i immediately return the kiss, oh, I've missed his mouth the hint of weed always there, weed. That girl. I pull away and slap him "what are you doing?!" He shrugs "you kissed me back" argh when am i gonna learn! "Kiss me again and you'll regret it stay the hell away from me i mean it!" I yell in his face and leave him standing there and hurry home.

I spend the weekend holed up in my room and crying myself to sleep over someone who does not care or even think about me. My mother did not even notice my distress on Friday she was tired and after we ate she went to bed and on Saturday when she came back from work i told her i wasn't hungry and on Sunday i just said i had a lot of work to do, i wish she would be my best friend so i can tell her everything and she would hug me in the comfort of her arms and tell me it won't always be like this instead work comes first to her and i really hate that.

(A/N: Please vote, comment and share, spread Love and Kindness)