Chapter 4

When we pulled up to my house, my father came out to meet us, "What happened?" he questioned. "She fainted," Ben answered. My mother came out, "Lucy," she called coming to my side of the buggy. Ben got out and helped me down, "I'm ok," I soothed my mother. "Thank you," I said to Ben shaking his hand. "Glad you're ok, Miss. Lucille," Ben smiled and winked at me. My father coughed, signaling our hand shake was lasting too long. My mother walked me in, while my father stayed to talk to Ben. "Mr. Mills, I'm sorry for your loss," Ben said walking back around to where my father stood. "Thank you, young man," my father replied standing up straight. "Tell Oliver I'm sorry," he told Ben not looking at him. Ben looked down, "Due to the circumstances, this probably isn't the time," Ben began. "Lucy told me, she loves you," my father admitted. Ben swallowed and waited for what he sure would be an argument, "She's not eighteen," my father pointed out. "She told me you gave Mr. Terish permission to call on her," Ben said looking my father right in the eye. "Yes, I did I told him in a few months," my father replied. "Would it be ok, if I came to call on her?" he asked. "Did you ask her?" my father asked. "Yes, sir I did," Ben stated plainly and added, "I asked for her hand before anyone else could." My father looked at him in shock, "Before talking to me?" my father asked. Ben looked down, "I'm sorry sir, but given the problems between Lizzie and Oliver, I wanted to ask her first," he said quietly. "What did she say?" my father asked. Ben looked up, "Sir?" he asked. "Well, what did she say?" my father asked again. "She said yes," Ben replied a little afraid by what my father would say. "Well then, you two have been doing a lot of planning," my father said. Ben didn't know what to say, "If you plan on marrying someone shouldn't you have a place to live. As well as a job to provide for your family," my father told him. "Yes sir," Ben responded. "Well, when you have an answer for those questions, come back," my father told him. "Thank you, sir," Ben said tipping his hat.

My father smiled and walked back in the house, "What was that all about?" my mother asked. "That boy thinks he's going to marry Lucy," my father explained. "We are planning a funeral and he's planning their wedding?" my mother asked. "Rose, it's not their daughter," my grandmother chimed in. "No, but Oliver shot himself. Lucy told me," my mother said with tears welling in her eyes. "Oh," was all my father could muster. "How long should Lucy put her life on hold," my grandmother walking past them toward the kitchen. "Mother, enough," my father said. "No, you two have forgotten that Lucy isn't your servant girl, she's one of your daughter's and she too has a life. She shouldn't put it on hold any longer," my grandmother told him getting angry and walking out.

Lizzie's funeral was a few days later, it was an exhausting day, people I'm sure meant well. However, the whispers were the worst, and as the months went on it only got worse. Fights broke out in town between people taking sides. My father and Mr. Allen didn't encourage this but it happened. My father would scoff and call them rabble-rousers, eventually he called a meeting at the railway and told all the men if they intended on keeping their jobs they ought to stop with the tomfoolery. It was as if Lizzie and Oliver's deaths divided the men, the women gossiped about how awful it was for my mother, and how Oliver's mother Emma, ought to be ashamed of her family. Since Oliver committed suicided he wasn't permitted burial on the church premises, so he was buried on their ranch. Lizzie's death wasn't considered a suicide because no one saw her jump, this fueled the rumors for people taking the Allens side. Lizzie was buried in the cemetery near my grandfather, there were whispers it was a disgrace, to bury the girl who cause the whole problem. People even looked at me differently when I went to town, even my friends who had known me for years took sides.

My birthday came and went as another day. My sister's tragedy seemed to be over shadowing everything that year. My mother never went to the Allen's, something in her seemed to turn, like her heart was hardening. She no longer even spoke of the Allens. The doctor opened a hospital in town, no one said it, but it was understood that had our town had one maybe Lizzie would have lived and prevented this whole thing. I tried my best to carry on and began volunteering at the hospital regularly. Dr. Augustine wanted me to become a nurse and go to college, I knew it would be impossible. One evening on my way home, I ran into Mrs. Allen and Suzanna, "Mrs. Allen, Suzanna," I acknowledged. "Lucy," they nodded. "I was hoping I would run into you, I have something for you," Mrs. Allen said reaching under the seat of her buggy. She pulled out a small hand carved wooden box, "Call it a late birthday present," she said handing it to me. "Thank you, Mrs. Allen," I replied opening it. There inside was a three stone opal and diamond ring, my eyes widened, "Mrs. Allen, this is beautiful but I can't except this," I told her. "It was my mothers and now it's yours," she said with a smile. "I," I stammered. "He wanted to give it to you himself," she whispered. My mouth dropped a little in shock, Mrs. Allen kissed my cheek and climbed into her buggy. They rode off leaving me stunned, I looked around to see if anyone noticed and tucked the box into my handbag and headed home. I needed to stop this Samuel thing as much as I could, so I decided to ask my father to send me to nursing college. It wasn't going to be easy, my father already had my life planned out in front of me, but I attempted to bring it up anyway, at dinner. "Papa, I wanted to ask you about something," I said trying to build up the courage. "What's that?" He asked taking a bite of his potatoes. "You know I've been volunteering at the hospital," I began. "Yes, and that is very charitable of you," he smiled. "Thank you, doctor Augustine thinks that I could become a nurse," I told him. He swallowed his food, "Well of course you could," he replied proudly. I was a little shocked, "There's a very good college in Boston," I pushed. He stopped eating, "Absolutely not," he said matter of factly. I looked down at my plate and sigh, "You're going to be courted by Samuel Terish, you'll be married and," he trailed off. My mother looked at me, "Why this interest?" She asked. "May I be excused?" I requested. "Your mother asked you a question," my father demanded. "I just thought I could help people," I answered. There was an awkward silence that fell over the table.

That night I sat up in my window seat praying Ben would come to call on me, but the next day I was disappointed. Instead Samuel came to call on me I stayed in my room and refused to come out to. My grandmother came down the stairs with a smile on her face to tell everyone, "She said she isn't seeing gentlemen callers today," my grandmother told them. "She what?" my father asked. My mother smiled a fake smile to Samuel, "She isn't seeing any callers today," my grandmother repeated. My father got in an awful huff, "I'm sorry Samuel," my father stated. "It's alright Mr. Mills, some girls are fickle, I have three sisters, I know," he said. I was listening at the top of the stairs, that smug little Samuel Terish. I wasn't fickle I just didn't want him, he was short and "big boned" my mother said. He had horrible lying brown eyes, and greasy black hair, there was something about him I didn't like, I thought as I watched him get into his car. He was rich enough to have a new car, which is probably why my father liked him and wanted me to marry him, I preferred horses anyway.

I refused to see him three more times, refused four phone calls, and five flower deliveries, before my father had had enough. All the while praying every night, that Ben would rescue me, and every morning being disappointed. I started to wonder if I needed to make a trip to my father's office again. It was dinner on a Friday evening in December, my father had just said grace, "Tomorrow Lucille, Mr. Terish is coming to call on you, he has something he'd like to ask you," he announced. "I don't think I'll be taking any callers tomorrow, I'm not feeling at all well," I told him taking a bite. "Yes, you will. You will see him tomorrow for lunch and you're going to make pleasant conversation and have a nice time," my father demanded. "You're meddling in her love life," my grandmother said. "Stay out of this mother," my father yelled. "Clarence," my mother pleaded. "She's eighteen," he began, "If you turn him down again I will…ship you off to…." my father stuttered. I got up threw my napkin down and went to my bedroom and slammed the door. "Clarence, there could have been a better way to handle that," my mother said in her quiet calm voice. "I've had it, she thinks that Allen boy is coming to marry her. I haven't seen hide nor hair of that boy since Lizzie died," my father said angrily. Everyone was quiet, "If he loved her he would have come back or called or something by now," he finished and took a bite.