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[Hiatus] The Adventures of a Useless Mage

Sometimes the best possible choices are the worst in the beginning. This is something Diana discovered only after reincarnating. *The cover is not mine, if you are the author, let me know, and if you want I will remove it.*

The_Sheep · アニメ·コミックス
レビュー数が足りません
9 Chs

Damn chinese rocket-kun!

Inside a tiny, dark, messy apartment, only one light source could be seen. This light was coming from a cell phone screen, and the person using that cell phone was a girl, a thin girl with brown hair and brown eyes. From her mature features, this girl is probably around 23 years old. And that same girl is a proud first-class NEET.

''Hahaha yes! I finally found a seller for this card, after a year of searching and buying cards, I finally managed to build the ultimate Black Mage deck! Well, that's if they don't throw some new card with a broken effect, but for now, this is the best!''

The girl stirred with excitement in her bed with a huge smile on her face. And while singing a melody in an upbeat tone, she sends an email to the person, after a few minutes she gets an email back.

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Message from Victor69@outrook:

Hey! You were the one who emailed me about wanting to buy my card, right? Unfortunately I can't deliver the card to where you live now because I have to go to work, if you want to pick it up now, drop by my house at the address #####, #### number ## #. I'll let my sister know that possibly you can come here, so don't worry. If you want to buy more cards, send me another email. Oh, and don't try to fool me, I already told my sister how much you would pay for the card. And my sister is a cop, just so you know.

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''Tch, dammit. I really want the card now, but I'd have to leave the house and go get it... ''

Thinking for a few seconds, she gets up from the comfortable bed and goes to the clothes closet.

''You know what? Let's go! Nothing can stop me from having this card in my deck!''

Opening her closet, she pulls out a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. Putting on her clothes and smoothing her tousled brown hair with a brush, she walks towards the door and stops for a moment.

''Okay, this is going to be tough, but his apartment isn't far away, I just need to be quick! ''

Opening the apartment door, blinding rays of light enter her apartment, illuminating everything.

''Argh, my eyes! Damn sun! ''

She closed her eyes and waited a minute for her eyes to get used to the light. Opening her eyes and being able to see again without the light hurting her eyes, she descended the stairs of the cheap apartment complex where she lives and headed for the seller's address.

''Okay, its two blocks from here, it's enough time to get the letter and go home without missing my anime episodes. ''

Putting her hands in her pockets, she took out her wallet and checked the money to see if anything was missing. Seeing everything in order, she put her wallet in her pocket again.

''Ok, I'm ready! Here we go!''

Unfortunately, as he hasn't been physically active for a long time, it took her a long time to get to the card seller's house.

''Damn it, my legs hurt, why the hell didn't I wait for him to come home from work...well whatever, I'm already here. ''

Arriving at the front of the house, which was medium in size but much bigger than her tiny apartment, she walks towards the door and presses the doorbell.

* DingDong *

* DingDong *

She was going to press the doorbell again, but she heard a voice coming from inside, so she waited silently at the door. Opening the door, the person who appears is a woman dressed only in pajamas, with short black hair and blue eyes.

''Sorry, who are you?''

'' O-Oh, sorry for the inconvenience ..... m-my name is Diana, I c-came to get the card .... '' It's been a long time since Diana talks to a person face to face, and she has low self-esteem, so she has terrible communication skills.

''Oh yeah, Victor told me someone could come here to buy one of his monster cards or whatever, come in, I'll get the card for you. ''

''Th-Thank you...''

Entering in her house, Diana sits on the sofa and waits anxiously, not because of the card, but because she wants to leave soon. The anime she wants to see will start soon.

The woman came back with a card in her hand ''Here, I got what you wanted, Victor told me it's a hundred dollars. Frankly, who would pay for this on a kid's playing card? ''

'Hey! This is not a children's game! The anime may be, but the game is so complex and fun, kids wouldn't know how to play! Diana thought with indignation.

''H-Here, the money...'' Diana took out her wallet and withdrew a hundred dollars, cash in hand, the woman gave the card to Diana, and Diana gave the money in return.

"Okay, that's it. I'll walk you to the door.''

'' O-OK, thanks. ''

Leaving the house, Diana looked at her cell phone and saw that her anime was about to start, so she went straight to her house. She crossed the streets without even looking, she didn't want to miss the anime episode. Some cars and trucks *Cough* honked because she could have been run over.

'It's just a little while to get home, and I hope it hasn't started yet!'

Unfortunately for Diana, she would never get to see the animes she wanted. Out of nowhere, Diana heard a thunderous noise coming from the sky, people around her started screaming and running in panic.

''Run!''

''Do not look! Just run, baby! ''

''Shit, shit! Protect yourselves, everyone! ''

'' Kyaaa! ''

Perplexed by what was happening, Diana took a moment to see what was happening, and that was the worst decision she had ever made in her life.

''W-what's going on? ''

Looking up at the sky, she saw that the clouds were a red color, then Diana saw a huge flaming object coming towards her at incredible speed, and that was already very close.

''Wait, isn't that a rocket?! Is that damn space rocket from China crashing here and now? Shit!''

Wasting no more time, Diana began to run with the crowd as the rocket debris quickly went down in flames, killing people and destroying buildings and cars.

* KABOOM *

Hearing the explosion, she quickly ducked for cover. A little way away from her, a wreckage hit a nearby truck, which exploded on impact, the people closest to the truck died from the explosion or from the shock wave that made them fly.

'Holy crap! I don't want to die yet! I need to run faster!'

Diana tried to run again, but the flaming rocket's main body hit the ground and unfortunately went right on top of Diana and a dozen others, crushing them all on the impact.

* BOOOOM *

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''Fuck! Huff* Huff* Huff*''

In a stark white place, Diana is lying on a floor unconsciously, until she wakes up in panic. Looking around, she just sees the white infinity, the only thing that existed was her and the floor of the place.

''Damn, where am I? Wait, didn't I die? I'm pretty sure that rocket hit me.'' Taking a few seconds to think, she quickly comes to a conclusion.

'Okay...it looks like I really died, I mean, there's no such place on earth, and I don't think I was abducted by aliens. So this is probably some afterlife place, like limbo or something.'

''You were pretty quick to come to that conclusion, but yes, you're right!''

''Wah! What the fuck!'' Startled by the sudden voice behind her, Diana jumps and backs away from where she was standing. Turning quickly, Diana saw a man completely white, dammit, even his eyes and hair were white, behind him were a pair of fluffy wings, and he was wearing a Roman-style dress, which, well, was white.

''I-I'm sorry, so who may you be...?''

''Oh sweetheart, don't worry, I'm just an angel. And you can't hear my name, unless you want your soul to explode.''

''R-Right, so... mister angel, where is this place?'' Hearing Diana's question, the angel makes a surprised face before answering.

''Well you're one of a few I've seen being this calm after finding out you're dead, other people in your situation would be crying, screaming, freaking out and so on, and a lot of them ask dumb questions..... and to answer your question, this place really is limbo , where people who have done neither evil nor good go after dying''

''I see...but why are you here? Shouldn't I have my eternal rest or something?'' Frankly speaking, Diana was scared of this, imagine being in this place alone, which has nothing, for eternity, she would go crazy in just one day.

''Hehe, silly, you've had your rest, you've been here for two thousand years.''

''Eh? What? Why? How? I mean, didn't I just wake up?'' Hearing the angel's response, Diana was very confused.

The angel approached Diana and patted her head to comfort her ''It's very simple, when people die and come here, they souls are in a dormant state, because they are damaged, all the bad, or unethical things that people do, are engraved in their souls, and it ends up corrupting them over time, you may have done good things, but you also did bad things, so your soul went numb as limbo absorbed your soul's corruption.''

''And now, your soul is pure again, ready to return to the mortal world once more.'' he continued.

''Wait, if this place cleans souls, what does heaven and hell do?''

''That's a good question, heaven is where people who have achieved enlightenment go. They are the people who managed to understand and complete God's test made for all mortals. As for hell, it's the place where souls that are extremely corrupt go, there, beings you know as demons, feed on the impurities and corruption of these souls, basically it's also a place of cleansing souls, but the souls there would take millions of years to be purified.''

''I see, but why are many people born bad?''

''Sorry, I can't say more than that. Well it's time to reincarnate you back on earth, don't worry, you won't have memories of anything.'' But before the angel could do anything, Diana moved away from him again.

''Woa Woa! Wait! I don't have wishes or something?''

''Hm? Why would you get wishes? Are you thinking that this is a reincarnation like those novels and animes where the person dies for a carelessness of superior beings and reincarnates with powers? Sorry, this is normal reincarnation.''

''Ehhhh? Damn, that's boring…wait, how do you know about novels and animes?'' The angel blushed at Diana's question, he turned away in embarrassment.

''W-Well, the work of an angel is boring, and I also have a lot of free time, so to don't get bored, I might go to the mortal world for entertainment from time to time....But that doesn't matter!''

''Pfft!'' Diana put her hands over her mouth to cover her laughter, but it didn't work well.

''Hey, why are you laughing!''

''I-I'm sorry...hehe...It's just...he..hehe...It's just too funny to think that a angel is.... an otaku...hahahaha!''

''This is rude! You know what? I don't want to talk to you anymore, meanie! I will reincarnate you at once!''

''W-Wait! Let's make a deal!'' Diana stopped the angel again, and now with a proposal in mind.

''A deal? What do you mean?'' Luckily the angel looked curious about the proposal, seeing this, Diana sighed inwardly. She doesn't want to reincarnate on Earth again, apart from anime and games, it's a boring world.

''Isn't there that about a game of chess with death?'' Hearing the question, the angel pondered for a few seconds.

''Well, there is that, but it's a form of entertainment for her, she doesn't have free time because there are always people dying, and to relieve the boredom she does it with some people, and no one ever beat her in a match. But I am not death, so what's your point?''

''Let's play a game! If I win, I can have three wishes, and if I lose, you can do anything to me!''

Hearing the girl's proposal, the angel puts his hand on his chin and begins to think. After a while, he closes his eyes and some light starts to come out of him.

''Well, all right. My superiors said it's okay, I mean not that it's a legal thing, it's just that they're pretty sure you're going to lose, so as a form of entertainment they accepted it.''

''Wait, so even if I win will I be reincarnated normally? Is it a meaningless bet?''

''Of course not, we are angels, we never came back with our words. It's an illegal thing, but as my superiors agreed, if you win, you'll have three wishes, but they must be in accordance with my powers. But well, you won't win.''

Hearing the certainty in the angel's voice, Diana was outraged, I mean, there's no way to know if you're going to lose if you don't try first!

''Since I don't want to be unfair, I'm going to search your memories for a game you and I like play.'' Without giving Diana time to respond, the angel placed a hand on her head, but nothing really happened to her relief.

Moving away away from Diana, the angel forms a smile on his face ''I decided what game we are going to play, I didn't expect you to like that too...'' The angel snapped his finger, and immediately the location began to change.

''W-Whoa! What is happening?!''

Without warning, the place where she and the angel were began to ascend, she knelt to not fall, and her right arm began to glow, and a device appeared on her arm. In the same time, the floor that was once white was now black, and the place that was between her and the angel, several white rectangular shapes appeared vertically, with a small space between them to separate them. And to Diana, this was very familiar.

Looking at her arm and the construct in front of her, Diana finally understood what it was. Diana widened her eyes in realization ''No way, this is...'' Seeing that Diana understood, the angel's smile widened even more.

''Exactly!''

''It's time.... to duel!''