Death is not the End (1)

Gurgle. Gurgle.

"... I'm hungry..." Voice hoarse and sounded soft and light, Nix doesn't have much energy left to complain about his own situation. He didn't even know how he was currently, as all he knew was that he was hungry.

Nix felt so hungry. Very hungry that he's having a severe stomach ache. Not just an ordinary ache, it feels painful like there's something twisting inside his empty stomach.

He looked at the ceiling. His scarlet eyes empty, and limbs weekly spread as he lies on the bed.

The ceiling is white, the wall is white, and the floor is all covered with white tiles. Nix moved his hand to caress the soft white mattress and he used the other to grab a bunch of his silver hair.

His empty eyes showed confusion as the white room reflected on his scarlet eyes.

Nix was wearing plain white pajamas that were wrongly buttoned and was showing his pale white skin.

If others saw this they may as well be shocked by just how handsomely gorgeous this man was. Nix was tall, even with his long silver hair no one would mistake him as a girl. His face was very refined, with sharp edges and a straight perfectly shaped nose.

But Nix's eyes were blank and empty, even if it reflects something it does not mean anything.

Because right now, the man does not know anything.

More like, he was not capable of thinking about himself.

And presently, all his attention was taken over by his hunger.

Then from the corner of the bed, Nix saw the only object in the room that was not colored white.

Nix slowly moves his hand using his meager strength and snatches that brown object towards his embrace.

All throughout his life this fluffy, and soft brown bear accompanied him until it became like it was now. Stiff, tattered and broken.

He can't remember where this brown thing came from or who it was from, but Nix knew this bear was important to him. Very important...

He held the teddy bear within his embrace and curled up as he endured the painful feeling of hunger he was having.

Nix was feeling so uncomfortable. He knitted his brows to show how much discomfort he was feeling right now.

He pursed his lips tightly and some blood could be seen trailing the lines of his pale lips, staining it red.

He was biting his lower lip, and didn't even spare his tongue.

He was so uncomfortable that he did not know what to do.

Nix was so hungry, his mind does not work the same as normal.

But then, he looked at the object in his arms. He met the bear's black eye that was still intact and was yet to be replaced. Nix saw his reflection, it was very distorted and hideous as if what he was seeing was a monster.

However, the man did not even waver seeing himself like that. Nix just let go of his longtime companion and started to look at his arms with his empty eyes.

It was full of pinholes of needles, and there were even old surgery scars scattered everywhere on his arms and hands leaving very ugly marks.

He then moves his hand and slips it inside his white shirt and caresses his stomach.

Nix's body was carefully maintained, and was full of defined lines of muscles. However, it was also full of scars and marks from needle and thread, just like his old bear companion that was repeatedly stitched up after being destroyed countless times. And it was not just on his upper body and arms, his whole body was filled with the same exact mark, even his head. If that silky silver hair was removed, the cover that was protecting his head from exposing all ugly mutilated scars would be gone.

That's why Nix took back his thoughts. He has never thought normal before.

His mind was always blank, like right now.

Nix can't think of anything. His mind is blank, his eyes see nothing but white, his nose smells everything unpleasant, and his ears hear nothing but silence.

And from his skin, he felt the same sensation. Ants crawling and biting from within, from the inside of his skin that will never ease up from just a simple scratch.

But even if his mind was blank, the hunger still lingers.

His hunger overwhelmed all that sensation.

Nix wanted to alleviate this uncomfortable situation he was in.

No matter what, from all sensations he felt hunger is the most painful thing for him.

His stomach grumble, so loud that the man can't help but feel annoyed.

He was so hungry, his head kept throbbing painfully, and this really annoyed him greatly.

He was uncomfortable all over...

His body felt cold and his hands were trembling.

Gurgle. Gurgle.

His body felt weak and his feet felt all soft.

Hungry...

Gurgle. Gurgle.

He was so hungry...

What should he do...

Nix is so very... Very hungry...

Gurgle. Gurgle.

But the problem is.

Nix does not want to eat.

The frustration he gets from thinking about him eating is much more stronger than wanting to alleviate his hunger.

But Nix was so uncomfortable...

So painful... and cold...

So, Nix got up slowly after fetching his bear and walked towards the kitchen.

This room has everything and looks like an ordinary room. Except that there are no windows, and the door was carefully hidden and can only be open from the outside.

When Nix was feebly walking to the kitchen, swaying as his feet took step by step, he passed by the TV. It was off and it seems that it was not plugged in.

However, as he steps forward passing it by, the TV starts up, showing silver static lines. Irritating rustling sounds rang from the TV, but the man ignored it all and just headed straight towards the kitchen.

Nix stopped by the counter and just stood there for a long time, seemingly thinking why he went to the kitchen.

But nothing goes through his mind.

...