Review Detail of Kamikaze_Eagle in Pokemon : An Unexpected Journey
Ulasan detail
I kinda get the feeling the author wants the story to be edgy and ends up sacrificing logic in the process. At the beginning the MC is already ostracized by his peers... because he's handsome? Because he has red eyes? As if people don't have weird hair and eye colors in pokemon at all. Then he gets a job at a factory and his coworkers get jealous that he's going to get promoted so quickly so what do they do? They decide to hire thugs to attack him like any sane person would do (sarcastic). So the MC flees to some rocket base in the forest and they let him have a pikachu with a freakishly high talent as a starter instead of claiming it for themselves. Theres more issues but I've gone on too long as is. I'm ending it here.
Pokemon : An Unexpected Journey
Pixez
Liked it!
SUKABalasan2
You had pikachu learn thunderbolt from a TM dispite already knowing thunderbolt. Theres no sense of time, 1 day could've passed or 1 month and I'd have no clue. Dispite being criminals team rocket hasn't actually done anything shady to the MC unlike the normal people. MC gets missions that are supposed to be insanely difficult despite being a newbie to the organization. No real world building involved in the story. Ordinary people so far are portrayed as kinda cartoonishly evil, having extreme emotions and responses to minor things. (He's getting promoted let's kill him! lol)
Hahaha, thanks for reading and commenting. I emphasize that I am a novice and writing is just a hobby (it's not like I'm getting paid, haha). But I don't have time to change or improve the story. That's secondary since I'm busy with exams and that's my priority. I will follow your advice to improve the story. Thanks for reading the work.
Kamikaze_Eagle:You had pikachu learn thunderbolt from a TM dispite already knowing thunderbolt. Theres no sense of time, 1 day could've passed or 1 month and I'd have no clue. Dispite being criminals team rocket hasn't actually done anything shady to the MC unlike the normal people. MC gets missions that are supposed to be insanely difficult despite being a newbie to the organization. No real world building involved in the story. Ordinary people so far are portrayed as kinda cartoonishly evil, having extreme emotions and responses to minor things. (He's getting promoted let's kill him! lol)