Review Detail of Kirito_Link in DANMACHI WITH YUNO TEMPLATE (rewriten )
Ulasan detail
This story is terrible not because of what you are trying to say, but how you say it. There are several grammatical errors, making the story too mechanical, so it's not really pleasing to the eye.
DANMACHI WITH YUNO TEMPLATE (rewriten )
faiz_mumtaz
Disukai oleh 3 orang
SUKABalasan9
owh okay, for next chapter i will using an app. please tell me if make it better or not thanks. guide me again
Kirito_Link:You did not understand a thing I said... What I meant was that you should avoid repetitions of words, verbs in ed/ing... Nothing about the length of the chapters, but overall I think you should rewrite every chapter. Sorry to say it to you, but yes it's that bad. Another example of mistakes I found in your latest chapter I believe was 'Bell and Zeus who is walk'... You should have written it like 'Bell and Zeus walked' or 'Bell and Zeus were walking'...
faiz_mumtaz:well i know how about my grammar but i don't under stand about the mechanical thing? can you tell?
It doesn't really feel humans, like the repetition of the 'ed', the 'later on' that is repeted twice in a row.
Kirito_Link:Like how do you feel reading this?image
owh. naruhodo, so i need make longer ? (don't worry i will rewrite that. is there any paragraph or chapter i need to rewrite?) (Also can you give me some reference for that one i really don't know how) thank you for your advice
Kirito_Link:It doesn't really feel humans, like the repetition of the 'ed', the 'later on' that is repeted twice in a row.
You did not understand a thing I said... What I meant was that you should avoid repetitions of words, verbs in ed/ing... Nothing about the length of the chapters, but overall I think you should rewrite every chapter. Sorry to say it to you, but yes it's that bad. Another example of mistakes I found in your latest chapter I believe was 'Bell and Zeus who is walk'... You should have written it like 'Bell and Zeus walked' or 'Bell and Zeus were walking'...
faiz_mumtaz:owh. naruhodo, so i need make longer ? (don't worry i will rewrite that. is there any paragraph or chapter i need to rewrite?) (Also can you give me some reference for that one i really don't know how) thank you for your advice
If I ever had to rate your English, I would say it is A2. Which is quite low, I'm mainly not ranking you A1 because you have some vocabulary but your grammar is simply awful.
Kirito_Link:You did not understand a thing I said... What I meant was that you should avoid repetitions of words, verbs in ed/ing... Nothing about the length of the chapters, but overall I think you should rewrite every chapter. Sorry to say it to you, but yes it's that bad. Another example of mistakes I found in your latest chapter I believe was 'Bell and Zeus who is walk'... You should have written it like 'Bell and Zeus walked' or 'Bell and Zeus were walking'...
faiz_mumtaz:well i know how about my grammar but i don't under stand about the mechanical thing? can you tell?
(srry my bad eng....) use chat gpt to edit your chapters... I've read that it works wonders... try it.
faiz_mumtaz:owh okay, for next chapter i will using an app. please tell me if make it better or not thanks. guide me again