Review Detail of jaymanifesto in North Of Lies

Read a few chapters and overall, for your first story (?), it’s not bad at all. I really like your writing style, choice of wording, and judging from your sentence structures and grammar, your story has true potential to evolve. However, I found it quite hard to catch up with the story’s progression. Maybe it’s because there are a lot of metaphors….even in the summary/synopsis. Personally, as a reader, I prefer to know what exactly is happening in the story and usually avoid stories that beat around the bush. However, these are just my personal thoughts. Firstly, I guess I can say that the summary needs fixing, try making it more straightforward so that readers would know what the story is about…much faster. You are free, though, to render your story however you like! Once again, I wish you luck in your writing process and have fun!