Review Detail of MrAuthor101 in North Of Lies

Oh boy... Where do I start? So we have a story, which gives fo a vibe, at least to me, of another one called The Beginning After The End. I would call it a plus. The first chapter checks most of what the first chapter should check. It gives some questions for the reader, but also provides quite a good understanding of what the story might be about. Revenge, re-rise to glory. The language is good. I would even risk saying it's great. The sentences read mostly smoothly. Now the weak points. Let's start with the logic of the story. Chapter two has a child falling asleep in the mother's hand. But, two, three paragraphs later the doctor is giving the chile, presumably the same, to mother. Then Chapter 3 has the timeline set up in winter, with the protagonist literally walking on ice in his room, just so he can walk later to a rainforest. As far as I know, geography doesn't work this way. There is a lot of telling instead of showing in this story, also the dialogues fall flat. I'll end up here since you didn't want the pointers, but there is a lot more to add here. I hope this helps you to improve.