Review Detail of Divine17 in Undergoing Drastic Rewrite
Ulasan detail
Cons: you gave the mc a system, but it was useless. you force the plot a lot. your mc is a side character because you can't break pass story plot of the original. you story nerf your mc to where it is so dramatic at times when it doesn't need it. gave your mc enough to break out of his wall in the beginning, but didn't so he stayed emo. pros: the beginning was good because it didn't follow anything and it was your creativity. advices: I agree with someone who commented it map out your story plots. your mc is your priority make them grow dont drag on with their weakness. don't drag on your plot more then 50 chapters. don't nerf the plot or the mc because the moment you do then your story is dead. again with that weakness your system is trash for the mc instead of helping him improve.
Undergoing Drastic Rewrite
D_Ghoul
Disukai oleh 3 orang
SUKABalasan18
Well, to be transparent, I only every tried to stick with the original events because I thought that the readers would get upset if I did my own thing, but I already had pretty big plans that would change the Harry potter world, but held back. However, ever since you helped me understand my more subtle mistakes and told me that it wouldn't be a bad thing to go off-script, I have a huge surplus of ideas that I think would help the overall story. If I were to say that it either gave me more flexibility or room to write, I think that it gave me a some wiggle room to express my ideas, although I'm not entirely sure what the difference in flexibility or more room to think is.
Divine17:been holding off but I will read it tonight after work. quick question now that you tried it did it give you more route to write? or more flexibility?
Thanks for pointing those cons out. I've been trying to fix the major problems, and this helps. Also, I've been trying to make the system more relevant, but I just now realized that it needs restrictions, so these last few days, I have been figuring out how to implement these restrictions to the story. And, can you explain the story's cons in more detail?
force personality= you made him kill the soul of the infant when he was reborn, but now he is struggling with the body personality? The mc grew up in the body it is his personality just trail him to fight against his inner demon so he can grow some more.
D_Ghoul:Thanks for pointing those cons out. I've been trying to fix the major problems, and this helps. Also, I've been trying to make the system more relevant, but I just now realized that it needs restrictions, so these last few days, I have been figuring out how to implement these restrictions to the story. And, can you explain the story's cons in more detail?
system useless= if you want to fix it give him mission too. this is why most of these novels use systems for mission. you called it affection system but the dude can't even figure out what the girls want.
D_Ghoul:Thanks for pointing those cons out. I've been trying to fix the major problems, and this helps. Also, I've been trying to make the system more relevant, but I just now realized that it needs restrictions, so these last few days, I have been figuring out how to implement these restrictions to the story. And, can you explain the story's cons in more detail?
just remember you called your title. you don't need restrictions on the system because half way through the story the mc will not depending on the system because he will grow to strong for the system. system = aiding device for mc in the beginning.
D_Ghoul:Thanks for pointing those cons out. I've been trying to fix the major problems, and this helps. Also, I've been trying to make the system more relevant, but I just now realized that it needs restrictions, so these last few days, I have been figuring out how to implement these restrictions to the story. And, can you explain the story's cons in more detail?
your mc is your mc dont need to worry about the "other mc". other then your mc romance. make your mc a shadow lord or make him go on his own adventure. shadow lord= work behind the scenes.
D_Ghoul:Thanks for pointing those cons out. I've been trying to fix the major problems, and this helps. Also, I've been trying to make the system more relevant, but I just now realized that it needs restrictions, so these last few days, I have been figuring out how to implement these restrictions to the story. And, can you explain the story's cons in more detail?
story nerf= you added allie because you can't write pass the 1d original. your the writer your the 5th dimension and your mc is the 4th dimension. only time you broke the wall was when hermi went into raven and then you went back and threw her back into the fray with the boys... this is not about hp and his merry adventures. its your about your mc.
D_Ghoul:Thanks for pointing those cons out. I've been trying to fix the major problems, and this helps. Also, I've been trying to make the system more relevant, but I just now realized that it needs restrictions, so these last few days, I have been figuring out how to implement these restrictions to the story. And, can you explain the story's cons in more detail?
mc personality progression: you sort of didn't fix his personality as he grew up. he had a chance to start all over, but didn't even progress even with Luna. sort of just made them both understand each other and that is it. you need to concrete his persona in the beginning before the school ark and then let it grow more as the story progress through the worlds. wishy washy mc are the worst characters to read.
D_Ghoul:Thanks for pointing those cons out. I've been trying to fix the major problems, and this helps. Also, I've been trying to make the system more relevant, but I just now realized that it needs restrictions, so these last few days, I have been figuring out how to implement these restrictions to the story. And, can you explain the story's cons in more detail?
last thing to say i like the beginning of the story where it is a story on its own story. remember when you write your own things it is more interesting then following a plot someone else wrote. why? because it is own adventure. one more thing fill in your plot holes and make sure to write them down so you don't have to rush in filling them or forget it and have to force things.
D_Ghoul:Thanks for pointing those cons out. I've been trying to fix the major problems, and this helps. Also, I've been trying to make the system more relevant, but I just now realized that it needs restrictions, so these last few days, I have been figuring out how to implement these restrictions to the story. And, can you explain the story's cons in more detail?
So, what you are saying, is that I need to tear through the original plot, and add many different events that only concern the MC?
Divine17:story nerf= you added allie because you can't write pass the 1d original. your the writer your the 5th dimension and your mc is the 4th dimension. only time you broke the wall was when hermi went into raven and then you went back and threw her back into the fray with the boys... this is not about hp and his merry adventures. its your about your mc.
atm you already gone to far with this story in hp. you gonna have to find a break point to improvise the probably best time is the when the school ends of the first book of hp. your story is about "your mc" and his companions and here and there the villains ploys against him. my tips are to guide you so build a world around your mc instead of depending the plots other already used. those plots can be used as a reference point so people know where in time your mc is.
D_Ghoul:So, what you are saying, is that I need to tear through the original plot, and add many different events that only concern the MC?
oh and to answer your question about events yeah. like what I point about the story in the beginning is creative until up to the part where you added "allie" and slap harmi back with hp and ron at that moment i felt that you sort of took to many step back and started to depend on hp plot line.
D_Ghoul:So, what you are saying, is that I need to tear through the original plot, and add many different events that only concern the MC?
Right. I know what I'm getting wrong now. (Don't weaken the main character, instead, I have to progressively make him stronger, and I should branch out, and begin to depend on my creativity instead of the original plot line, and make sure that not everything is as dramatic as it was before.) I'll do something about it. Thanks for the advice :)
yup that the way to go when you make your own mc it might be harder, but you get so many path you can take. the only reason people choose to reincarnation into the mc like harry is because they can mostly copy and paste the story plot which is easy to do.
D_Ghoul:Right. I know what I'm getting wrong now. (Don't weaken the main character, instead, I have to progressively make him stronger, and I should branch out, and begin to depend on my creativity instead of the original plot line, and make sure that not everything is as dramatic as it was before.) I'll do something about it. Thanks for the advice :)
D_Ghoul:Right. I know what I'm getting wrong now. (Don't weaken the main character, instead, I have to progressively make him stronger, and I should branch out, and begin to depend on my creativity instead of the original plot line, and make sure that not everything is as dramatic as it was before.) I'll do something about it. Thanks for the advice :)
Divine17, I have written a multitude of new chapters, and just wanted to see what you thought of the story so far. I've been following your advice, and I hope you'll enjoy the story more when this 'Christmas Break ' is over, and I proceed with the new arc that I have planned for when Quentin returns to Hogwarts.
been holding off but I will read it tonight after work. quick question now that you tried it did it give you more route to write? or more flexibility?
D_Ghoul:Divine17, I have written a multitude of new chapters, and just wanted to see what you thought of the story so far. I've been following your advice, and I hope you'll enjoy the story more when this 'Christmas Break ' is over, and I proceed with the new arc that I have planned for when Quentin returns to Hogwarts.
D_Ghoul:Well, to be transparent, I only every tried to stick with the original events because I thought that the readers would get upset if I did my own thing, but I already had pretty big plans that would change the Harry potter world, but held back. However, ever since you helped me understand my more subtle mistakes and told me that it wouldn't be a bad thing to go off-script, I have a huge surplus of ideas that I think would help the overall story. If I were to say that it either gave me more flexibility or room to write, I think that it gave me a some wiggle room to express my ideas, although I'm not entirely sure what the difference in flexibility or more room to think is.