Haizao
Join my Discord if you like my novels! https://discord.gg/ksJ8dJup4d If you feel generous, please support my work at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/haizao
Tulisan
membaca
153
Membaca buku-buku
Lencana
9Momen
259
Haizao10dBalas Triforce_AvatarCh 35 Taboo Tattoo- Haizao12dBalas Zenith_Seraph
- Haizao13dBalas DaoistjgSy04
Good catch! I had meant to edit that section since his age fluctuated a bit during early writing. He is, in fact, not too young.
Paragraf ini telah dihapus. - Haizao14dBerkomentarCh 1 Prologue
- Haizao14dBerkomentarCh 1 Prologue
- Haizao14dBerkomentarCh 1 Prologue
- Haizao14dBerkomentarCh 1 Prologue
- Haizao14dBerkomentarCh 1 Prologue
- Haizao14dBerkomentarCh 1 Prologue
- Haizao14dBerkomentarCh 1 Prologue
- Haizao14dBerkomentarCh 1 Prologue
- Haizao14dBalas vorlefan
- Haizao15dDiterbitkan
Traveler's Will is very solidly written, especially once the chapters reach the 20s and over. The author's sense of pace is very deliberate with the details, and really makes you feel the situation in a granular sense. The main character, Asdras, is strongly crafted, and while there is a System, it's not front-and-center in a way that interferes with the enjoyment. (Though that does make it a little harder to wrap one's head around). There are a few word use issues that are more obtuse than incorrect, and narratively I did find the MC gets his hand held by the plot somewhat, with other characters pushing him along a lot at times. But overall it's a solid read and quite enjoyable! Definitely good potential.
- Haizao15dBerkomentar
I think I get the context, but maybe "wishful thinking" instead of the word "denial" would work more clearly.
"For years, day by day, I've thought about how to slay that monster," he said, opening the first page. "At first, it was silly ideas, trying to think heroically and bravely, but week after week, despair filled us, and our denial was broken." - Haizao15dBerkomentar
Awaken, you mean?
"This place holds answers, kid," he said, his gaze shifting to the statue. "It's here; you're going to awake." - Haizao15dBerkomentar
As in Previous or Final?
"Damn! What do these words even mean? Last Death." - Haizao17dDiterbitkan
Two chapters out as of this reading. I can tell the author has a good sense of prose and narrative pacing. The technical side of this is good and has few errors. The reading is slightly inhibited by symbol use, but that is more an aspect of WN not providing basic tools like italics and bolding to new writers. That can be corrected in time. Overall, a decent start.
- Haizao17dBerkomentar
Try to be consistent when indicating italics. You used * in the previous chapter, and that's better because people who use autoreaders will have the reader read out the _ but not a *. Once you contract, you'll have access to actual italics via CTRL I
Pushing himself to his feet, Logan's gaze darted around, taking in the dense trees that surrounded him. His heart raced as he tried to make sense of the situation. _This couldn't be real, could it? _ - Haizao19dBalas Bored_momma69Ch 141 Siege Town