I think I understand what he means here. Theres no real 'hook' in the story. The hook is what keeps readers invested. It's mostly the MC going through training and some simple interactions, which is fine but it doesn't keep a readers attention by itself. I hope my explanation makes sense and helps.

Should've charged them double honestly.

You had pikachu learn thunderbolt from a TM dispite already knowing thunderbolt. Theres no sense of time, 1 day could've passed or 1 month and I'd have no clue. Dispite being criminals team rocket hasn't actually done anything shady to the MC unlike the normal people. MC gets missions that are supposed to be insanely difficult despite being a newbie to the organization. No real world building involved in the story. Ordinary people so far are portrayed as kinda cartoonishly evil, having extreme emotions and responses to minor things. (He's getting promoted let's kill him! lol)

I kinda get the feeling the author wants the story to be edgy and ends up sacrificing logic in the process. At the beginning the MC is already ostracized by his peers... because he's handsome? Because he has red eyes? As if people don't have weird hair and eye colors in pokemon at all. Then he gets a job at a factory and his coworkers get jealous that he's going to get promoted so quickly so what do they do? They decide to hire thugs to attack him like any sane person would do (sarcastic). So the MC flees to some rocket base in the forest and they let him have a pikachu with a freakishly high talent as a starter instead of claiming it for themselves. Theres more issues but I've gone on too long as is. I'm ending it here.

Thunderbolt was already listed in Pikachu's moveset in the previous chapter.

So they let random kid have a 5-star pikachu? If people were willing to kill him over simple promotion in a factory why the hell would they give him a powerful starter instead of claiming it for themselves? It makes no sense.

That's too extreme to be believable. Especially since it's a group of people instead of one.

*bonk* Did I bonk the edginess out of the MC? You don't have to be devoid of emotions, just very selective about them.

"Isn't that too easy?" The was in that sentence didn't belong there.

Haven't read it yet but I'd suggest changing the title since theres another pokemon fic using the exact same title.

huargos?

Probably one of the best prologues I've ever read. I usually end up just skimming over them to make sure I don't miss anything important. Here I actually took the time to read it fully. Good job author. 👍

I can't help but be kinda disappointed. This story has followed the same path as the vast majority of every other monster story out there. They give them a 'civilized' humanoid form. What's the point of having a monster as a MC if your just going to give them a human or humanoid form eventually? There isn't one.

I hope not. Let the nonhuman MC stay nonhuman.

What is he doing? He's hunted and killed leviathans who haven't attacked him before. Now he's letting these two live after they tried to kill him?

I don't think you should include romance at all. That's just kinda nasty and it detracts from the story.

So they took a humpback whale and gave it the great Jagras makeover from monster hunter world.

+1

+1