MrKingCraft
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MrKingCraft2mthBalas Rishav_Saha_1096How about you write your own fanfic where everything is how you want it to be, or you can just read and stop complaining for no reason
"Pardon my intrusion, but the lady can have my seat; I don't find these bus seats comfortable anyways," I say softly, removing myself from my crouched position on my seat and receiving strange looks as I do.- MrKingCraft9mthBerkomentar
W pops
Buku ini telah dihapus. - MrKingCraft9mthBerkomentar
Good chapter over all. A few mistakes and inconsistencies but it should be fixed in time. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it but for now have a power stone.
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Narcissist tendencies so quick into the story...
Buku ini telah dihapus. - MrKingCraft9mthBerkomentar
Very fast time skip. Maybe a bit more background information would've helped especially since he just dropped in cultivation and I think the reaction was a bit too dry. If I had spent many years building up something only for it to fall and have me start over again, even if I could feel that the foundation of the building is stronger, I would still be extremely sad.
Buku ini telah dihapus. - MrKingCraft9mthBerkomentar
This came a bit too fast. Maybe you could've told us where he sat down and how he sat down to cultivate so that it's easier to visualize and it adds to the word count. Also to make this sudden act seem more realistic , at the end of the previous paragraph, you could've said that he was to weak to enter the forest and if he wanted to enter he'd have to get stronger. Then you could wrote about him going off to cultivate.
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my arms*
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You should use [These] for the system to so that the readers can properly differentiate between the system and other text.
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Weird. Isn't he twelve? Maybe he's just a bit more mature than other kids because I've never heard a 12.year old say something like that and I mean it in the nicest way possible.
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"These" would help
Buku ini telah dihapus. - MrKingCraft9mthBalas Dream_Lord14
- MrKingCraft9mthBerkomentar
I was wondering why i felt a "bungee gum has the property of gum and ruber" mixed with a pedo snakeman type vibes.
Thousands of snakes formed and they all went towards Naoto. He didn't pay any attention to them as the were destroyed upon contact with his lightning armor. - MrKingCraft9mthBerkomentar
passed*
Time past by really fast as all I did every single day was train with my old man. As mush as I hate to admit it, the geezer was extremely knowledgeable about cursed energy and jujutsu in general. - MrKingCraft9mthBalas Tarang_Sharma
Or he could've just put "in the clan" in brackets and leave the "except gojo" out of brackets. If not then there's no reason for gojo to be mentioned.
And his Cursed Technique was the strongest in the clan, and that's includes [Projection Sorcery] that his father and brother have. Naoto is also the fastest sorcerer(excluding Gojo) in the clan as his technique allows him to move at the speed of lightning. - MrKingCraft9mthBerkomentar
thought*
Naoto looked at her from the corner of his eye and sighed. He knew her though process and decided to give her some encouragement. - MrKingCraft9mthBalas PapaguroMaki Zen'in(Pic)
- MrKingCraft9mthBalas PapaguroAsami Fudo (Pic)
- MrKingCraft9mthBalas PapaguroChisato Fudo(Pic)
- MrKingCraft9mthBalas Papaguro
Smash
Nobara Kugisaki(Pic) - MrKingCraft9mthBerkomentarA typical virus cycle when it finds a host cell, in crude terms - is that it attaches to the cell, enters the cell via endocytosis or fusing to the cell membrane, releases its genetic material and hijacks the cell machinery to assemble more of the virus copies before exiting the cell via a process called cell lysis that was the equivalent of the FBI busting through your door - attempting to get out instead of in.