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DaoistZe1lof

DaoistZe1lof

Lv4
2021-08-06 BergabungGlobal
3.4kh

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  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lofa month ago
    Diterbitkan

    This story is one of the most funny and crazy that I ever read the only problem is the time between chapters that ruins it.

  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lof2 months ago
    Berkomentar

    the gym can just put electric closets that open only when swiped by the right gym card(optionally used only if a person is insecure and by paying a small monthly fee)

    Buku ini telah dihapus.
  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lof2 months ago
    Berkomentar

    I do wonder the precise reason the MC doesn't want to be in a relationship since he was very vague when he was controlling himself to not have "other" thoughts.

  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lof2 months ago
    Berkomentar

    thanks for the chapter.

  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lof4 months ago
    Berkomentar

    Thanks for the chapter. I think that the MC needs to learn how to control her powers especially her cold aura since with how it is now it can't do much. I mean she has ice power and she knows but she just circulates it with the technique and that is it she doesn't try to move her power or manifest it so she can cool herself better, from what I read her power is constantly coming out from her body not all of it, but a small amount that escapes from the circulation technique creating that cold aura, meaning that if she thinks about it she can try to condense it on just her skin to maximise the aura effects limiting the heat that she feels.

  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lof4 months ago
    Berkomentar

    I pray to Arceus that the MC doesn't lock her up to make sure she is only hers

  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lof4 months ago
    Berkomentar

    thanks for the chapter, a very good story different from the rest that just put themselves in the Pokémon world with plot armour everywhere. Instead this story shows struggles to get her rewards (and those rewards aren't op as hell) giving it life that other stories lack. Hope you continue this story even if you get few readers and power stones because every story needs to get a proper end.

  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lof6 months ago
    Berkomentar

    thanks for the chapter, one question is the MC a meat head? because in every film or novel that the MC can see and read the villains do this and he knows about the wagon and the accomplishes so the Mc could have asked for a second squad to take the wagon or to take enough guards to surround the house. If you wanted his to escape you could make his a low leveled earth mage that took time to build a tunnel as a secret escape in case he got caught scamming.

  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lof6 months ago
    Berkomentar

    thanks for the chapter, from what I am reading you are making the story slowly focusing more on character development instead of the surroundings.

  • DaoistZe1lof
    DaoistZe1lof6 months ago
    Berkomentar

    thanks for the chapter, The only problem is that it's very short you can read the chapter in one minute making it very unsatisfying to read since the entire chapter can be summarised in 3 sentences *the MC's party got into the town, the party they punished is trying to make trouble, the passengers pay for the transport.* I mean other stories do similar things but they try to take the reader's mind elsewhere like in the part with the party offended by the MC you can write a description of why they have such pride like do they come from important families like minor nobles or knights.