Entrée De Journal Treize: New Beginnings

It's been a month since all that happened. Nico's gotten better, and he's stopped lying to me. We've talked about our feelings for each other and how we would like to do things, and we've both realized that we aren't ready for a relationship just yet, but it's not out of the question for the future.

The war with Gaea was only a month ago, but it feels like it's already been a year. Nico was able to start training yesterday, and he's already about to lose that privilege again if he doesn't stop over-doing himself when training.

He's getting better, I just worry it may not last as long as I'm hoping it will. He's been talking to Dionysus more lately. He's been smiling more too. I'm happy for him. Our friendship has also come a long way in one short month. We've been hanging outside of the infirmary more, and he's also been coming in and helping me out when I'm on shift there. He's basically become an Honorary Apollo kid. We've all just kind of taken him in. Everybody has accepted him. He's also been hanging out with Percy Jackson a lot more, they've been rebuilding their friendship with the help of Jason and I. That is actually how Nico's been getting hurt a lot lately, it's because of how much he's training with Percy now.

He's improved a lot. We've improved a lot.

I'm probably going to take a break from writing after I finish up this entrée. I don't have much more to cover, nothing, actually. The rest of this is probably just going to be a note for Nico if he ever reads this, which I'd like him to at some point. It may be embarrassing for me to have him read this, but I'd like him to know what I think about him.

So, if you're reading this, and you're not Nico, please, stop reading here, this is for Nico, and Nico only. You can come back at the end where I'll write a separate note for you, to help you with your journey.

I'll see you soon, reader, but it's Nico's turn to read now.

Nico,

I know we may have fought a lot when you first came into the infirmary after the war, and I know I may have been a pain in your ass, but that doesn't mean I didn't have faith in you, that doesn't mean that I didn't believe that you wouldn't be able to make a recovery, whether it was fully or even half.

I know you may only call me by my last name, but it doesn't change how I feel or think of you. If anything, it makes me like you more.

I'm going to say something that you may not like, but I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to do it in person, so this may be the only way you'll find out. But, I like you, and not just as a friend, I like you in a relationship-y way. I want to be your boyfriend and I want you to be mine. I want to take care of you as my boyfriend, not my patient. I've liked you since I saw you in our first Battle, when you came charging in with an army of skeletons with Hades by your side.

I was terrified when you left Camp for the first time, Nico. I remember running all around Camp trying to find out more about you after you were claimed, and even a little bit beforehand. Gods, I wanted to be your friend so badly, it killed me when you left.

And I don't mean to say any of this sounding like an absolute creep, but, it's the truth, and I'd rather not keep you from any more secrets if I can help it. I want to be an open book with you, and I hope you want to do the same with me. But, it's okay if you don't. I can wait, and if you never want to, that's okay, too. You don't have to be open with me if you don't want to, I don't want to push you into anything you may not feel comfortable with. It's the same thing with a relationship.

What I'm trying to say is that, it's okay to not be ready for things, just like it's okay to not be comfortable with things, too. I want you to know that I'm proud of you. You've come so far in the short two months that I've been getting to know you, and I hope that as you start getting out more, and not just with training, I hope that we can hang out more. I hope that you'll make room for me in your life, because I'll make room for you in mine. I always will, even if you don't feel the same way for me that I feel for you.

That's another thing that I want you to know. It's okay to not feel the same way for me, it's one hundred percent okay! You don't have to feel the same! You can't control how you feel, nobody can. I mean sure, you could try to suppress feelings, but in the long run it would only send you spiralling into a depression you may or may not move on from.

I don't think I need to tell you how depression works, but I will if I ever need to. I'll be there for you, Nico, if you ever need anything. Even if you just need some company to help fill the silence, I'll be there.

But, in summary, I guess, I just wanted you to know that I will always be there for you. I'll be there for you even if we're half-way across the world from each other, or if we're sitting next to each other. I'll be there, always.

So, please don't forget that.

Love,

Will Solace, your friend.

Readers, you can come back now so I can give you your special advice. It's similar to what I told Nico, but it will include more details in it because I'm probably never going to see you as much as I'll hopefully see Nico.

With that being said,

Reader,

I know we don't know each other, and I know how hard things can get in the mortal world, trust me, I was one of you before I was brought here to Camp. Life isn't easy, and it probably won't ever be easy. Things will get hard, things will be easy, it all just depends on the timing.

Something may happen and it will feel like your whole world just came crashing down on you, but I promise it will get better. I won't say you'll feel better within twenty-four hours, or even four years, but it will get better when the time comes. The Fates planned this all out for a reason, so if something does happen, try to use it for the best, make something good come from it. I don't want to make this too relatable because I don't want to say the wrong thing and trigger something for you, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you, too. You've come a long way, and that's something you should be proud of. If you want, when I start writing again after my break, I can include something like this, but much shorter at the end of each entrée so that you have those little reminders that I'm here for you! I'll always be there to talk to. I don't have much more room to write in this Journal, so the next time I write I'm going to have to buy a new one, turns out I can only fit twenty thousand words in each Journal. Don't ask me how I know that.

But, try to make the most out of your life, don't hold yourself back. Go outside more, it'll be good for you, and I know that simple task may seem hard, trust me, I've been there, but once you do it, you'll feel so much better. Even if you're just out there for three minutes.

So, just keep that in mind. Things might get rough for a while, but it'll turn back around. It may cycle like that for Gods know how long, but you'll find your way. You'll figure out what is right for you.

Just remember, you may not find your perfect fit on the first try. It might take a while, and that may come with a bunch of hard work. But, that doesn't mean you should give up! No! If anything, it means that you should work for it if you really think that it will be right for you! And, if it's not? That's okay! Try something new! Try something different, and don't be scared of change! I should probably take my own advice on the whole change part, though.

So, how about we make a deal? Sound good? Great! If you promise to work hard in life, I will do the same! Now, I understand it may sound stressful, but that's just how life is!

I want to be a doctor when I grow up, and that's something I feel like it's really hard to do. So, we're going to make a contract.

I, Will Solace, promise to work hard in life, as long as the reader signing this does.

I, _____________________________, promise to work hard in life, too.

We will work hard in life to get to our goals, and we won't let anything stop us, ever.