Chapter 12

Probably being in California, or perhaps because of being a well-known alumnus and also as a representative of the new - journalism, Jingan often recalls Joan Didion's words.

　　"I've never been much of a fan of people who don't leave their hometown, and I don't understand why. Leaving home seems to be the duty of life."

　　For the entirety of her second year of graduate school, Jingan often thought about where she was going. Her grandmother's condition was unstable, and they didn't want to hire a housekeeper, so only her grandfather was around to take care of her; her parents were in Africa, and the family of five was scattered in three countries, and her father's health was not good, so he was always in the air and back frequently, so this was not the way to go for a long time.

　　It's not that she couldn't leave her hometown, but at this stage, there was a more important option than her plan, and that option was to go back.

　　This decision was not made firmly, and the family had been unusually peaceful for several months in a row, so Jingan vaguely sensed that something was wrong.

　　It was the beginning of May when she returned home, close to graduation, and Jingan did not inform her family in advance. When she arrived home, she found the door closed, and only after a phone call did she learn that her grandmother had been hospitalized again, and her father had returned from Morocco with a shoulder injury and was receiving treatment in the hospital.

　　The family's intentional concealment made Jingan feel very uncomfortable, and she brought soup from home to the hospital for a week.

　　Jing An washed the lunch box and didn't go back immediately. The window at the corner of the hospital stairs was a little dirty, and the moon was a little dull outside, so Jing An suddenly wanted to drink a Coke, which Joan Didion said must be very cold to taste good.

　　Jing An stood on the curb and drank the whole bottle, then took out the red box her grandmother had given her two days ago from her bag, and the pair of oval-shaped cufflinks inside were very chic. Jing An's grandfather used to learn to make suits in Italy, the cufflinks were made by his own hands, the process was complicated, and a lot of machines were purchased for this purpose, he had a wrist injury, he did not stop, and the requirements were also high, it took nearly half a year to make a satisfactory pair.

　　The letters are engraved on the top, one "an'ging" and one "quieto", both representing Jing'an.

　　Jing'an actually got an offer from Silicon Valley, and could be transferred directly after joining the company, but she needed to reply to the emails within half a month, and if she didn't reply after that, she gave up the job opportunity by default.

　　She originally only had the mentality of trying, but this mentality betrayed her, she was hoping to get the job at the bottom of her heart.

　　That day Grandma still asked her to read to her from "The Lovely Chekhov", which always wished people fortune and a happy life.

　　Tolstoy's eldest daughter, Averova, had been bitterly in love with Chekhov, who wrote in his last letter to her, "I wish you all the best, and the main thing is to live your life happily and not to bother too much about life, which probably is actually much simpler."

　　Grandma patted Jing An's hand as usual, "It's meaningless to think too much, your grandfather and I haven't had enough of the two of us yet, you should stay over there first, gain a few years of work experience, there are still many opportunities to return to China later, the most important thing now is not to leave regrets. I know my own health, one day really unwell, even if you do not want to come back, I have to call you every day, I can not let go of my precious granddaughter."

　　Jing An buried her face in her grandmother's hand and said for a while, "I'll think about it."

　　Flying back to Berkeley in two weeks, with graduation coming up and the to-do list crossed off, Jingan exited the journalism school building and headed to a nearby bar.

　　The Chardonnay had the aroma of lemon in it, not unlike the lemonade she often drank, and was much lighter and more refreshing. Jing'an drank slowly, sitting at the bar and only looking down at her phone, out of step with the others.

　　The discussion in the group is very hot, all around the recent "news", Jing An is very innocent, often being circled. Cheng Yan knew she had just returned from China, and this time did not compete to be the first gossip, but only asked her if her family was okay.

　　Jing An casually took a photo and sent it to Cheng Yan, who returned an "OK" and said she would come to her later.

　　When Shen Xihuai appeared, Jing An was bored with the group's messages, but her head was still thinking about staying or leaving. The family did not want her to give up such a good job opportunity, and even proposed that the family move to the United States to keep her company, Jing An cried and laughed, but the grandmother as if the words must be done, even if only a joking threat, but also gave Jing An a shot in the arm.

　　Screw the indecision! The big deal is to stay in the job first, so there is no need to dwell on it.

　　Jing An threw the phone on the table, picked up the wine and drank it all, threw the cup back, Jing An raised her eyes at that moment and saw Shen Xihuai a few steps away.

　　The corner of the mouth still has a little bit of liquor left, Jing An wiped it away with her fingertips, she looked fixedly at the person opposite, her eyes moved along his straight shoulder line to the arm, and then down to the wrist covered by the shirt, she thought Shen Xihuai may be missing a pair of cufflinks.

　　Jing An's face was slightly burned by the alcohol and probably already red. When she was in the hospital, her family asked her if she had anyone she liked and encouraged her to fall in love, while saying there was no rush, as long as she was happy, and when they handed her the cufflinks they said, "Give them to your boyfriend later."

　　Jing An remembered the details of the cufflinks and imagined it being worn on Shen Xihuai's sleeve, he was a clothes hanger and seemed to look good in everything he wore, this pair of cufflinks must suit him.

　　Her head was stuffed with thoughts for a moment, and she waited for Shen Xihuai to stand beside her before she went back to looking at his face.

　　"Where's Cheng Yan and the girls? Have they come?"

　　Shen Xihuai frowned slightly, his face was particularly ugly, Jing An even felt a thin layer of cold frost on his face.

　　"They went to a classmate's house to play de puff." He lowered his eyes to look at her, his eyes slid over the glass of wine that she drank clean, his voice was cold: "One should not drink outside."

　　Jing An was weak and explained in a whisper, "I just drank this one cup."

　　It was the first time she drank, and the first time she came to the bar alone.

　　Shen Xihuai did not seem to hear, "Send you back."

　　Jing An did not move for a while, she rarely wanted to stay outside for a while, the past two years in addition to study is to study, she rarely have no care to indulge in time.

　　But still honestly get up to get the school bag, but Shen Xihuai first to take away, his movements are strong, his steps are also fast, Jing An had to jog to keep up.

　　The car smells of perfume, and he is the same, like lush green orange leaves, wrapped in the cool sea breeze.

　　Jing An peeked over, only a side face can also see Shen Xihuai's lips are very good shape, his lips are thin, but very full, kiss up taste must not be bad.

　　Jing An quickly turned back, fingertips across the inner wall of the car door, the mind immediately appeared Shen Xihuai will hold her into the arms and head down to kiss the image.

　　Jing An found herself finished, but her thoughts were uncontrollable, followed by the kiss, and some other unpleasant scenes.

　　The wind blew in through the window, the wine was not too strong, but Jingan felt hotter and hotter, she unbuttoned her shirt by two and looked out the window at the street scene silently to calm her heart.

　　It seemed that she was downstairs in the blink of an eye, and Jing'an came back to her senses, realizing at first that she didn't really want to get out of the car, so the movement of unbuckling her seat belt became slow.

　　When she turned back to get her school bag, she looked at Shen Xihuai: "Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something?"

　　Shen Xihuai handed over a look that was hard to figure out, and Jing An didn't want to figure it out, "I still have some focaccia and ribs in the fridge, so if I don't eat them again, they'll go bad."

　　The first thing you need to do is to get out of the car.

　　"Are you still awake?" Shen Xihuai asked.

　　"Hmm?"

　　"I'm asking if you're still awake now."

　　Jing An's face was burning, but she knew she wasn't the least bit drunk.

　　She explained in a low voice, "I'm not drunk."

　　"If you're not drunk, get out of the car."

　　Jing An realized at this moment that she had completely screwed up, she was stunned, then embarrassed, pushed the door and got out, just closed the door, the Rolls-Royce immediately rushed forward, but three or five seconds, quickly disappeared in the corner of the street.

　　Jing An's head went blank for a while, she gently patted her burning face for a while before lifting her feet and walking towards her residence. Just before she reached the entrance of the building, her footsteps suddenly paused, and then followed the sound to look over, the silver-blue car actually reappeared in view.

　　Shen Xihuai's movements were clean and sharp, and after parking the car, he walked towards her with big steps.

　　"What did you want to eat?" There was a bit of thin anger in his voice.

　　Jing An still didn't respond, and he didn't seem to need an answer, saying immediately after, "Lead the way."

　　Jing An's head buzzed, she lived on the fifth floor, the hallway was not bright enough, and the light on the third floor was completely broken, she slowed down in the darkness, then stopped and turned back, Shen Xihuai stopped one step later, two steps away, about to be at eye level with her.

　　With the bright light from the window, Jing An has never found Shen Xihuai's face so attractive as at this moment, she lowered her head, quickly grabbed his wrist and tugged him on up.

　　But a few floors, Jing An entered the house panting, the house did not turn on the lights, only the street lamp through the window shine in.

　　The carpet is very thick, and the school bag is almost silent when thrown on it.

　　Jing An did not dare to have a pause, turned back to look at Shen Xihuai, then took two steps closer, tilted his head to kiss him.

　　The actual fact is that she should ask him whether he has a girlfriend or not, but she clearly has the answer, or else she would not have the guts to be so boundless.

　　She kissed very haphazardly, and only after the kiss did she have time to feel Shen Xihuai's breath, his chest rose and fell violently, his breath sprayed on Jing An's forehead, a little hot, and a little itchy, Jing An's mind moved, once again on tiptoe to kiss him on the lips.

　　This time she wanted to try to stretch her tongue, but before she could open her mouth, she was suddenly pushed back.

　　Jing An looked at Shen Xihuai flush and clean shirt collar, a moment very confused, she thought he went and returned, is bound to understand her meaning, but now he refused to kiss with her.

　　"You in the end ..."

　　Jing An's words have not finished asking, the person in front of her suddenly tightened her back again, Shen Xihuai's action is obviously more aggressive than her, but also sharper than her, the two lips just dipped, he pried her teeth straight open, probe into the tip of the tongue at the same time will be her heavy against the door panel.

　　......

　　The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a box of unopened items, and after a while you can't find it.

　　Jing An's room is very small, in order to make more space, she deliberately changed to a one meter two bed, a person can still stretch freely, for two people on the narrow a little too much.

　　Not only is it small, but it's also not very sturdy, but a few times, the bed makes some unusual noise.

　　Jing An couldn't catch her breath, her waist was pinched by something, she caught Shen Xihuai's hand up, signaling him to take off his watch, but he sent it towards her, asking for her help.

　　She did not have much patience left and did not take it off for a while. Shen Xihuai did not help her, but at first just watched, and then lowered his head to plug her lips.

　　The house only open a night light, very dark, dark to Jing'an can not see Shen Xihuai's face, can only feel with their hands.

　　......

　　The first thing she need to do is to get back to the bed, she raised her head to kiss Shen Xihuai's earlobe and softly asked him if he could help her pour a glass of water.

　　Once the words were out of her mouth, Jing An realized after the fact that she could be pampered with someone other than her family, but she did run out of strength and was thirsty.

　　The lemonade was in the fridge, just three or four meters away from her, but it was already more than half an hour later when Jing'an drank it. Shen Xihuai's ears are probably very sensitive, Jing'an a kiss, he is not too much to bear.

　　Later, unable to do measures, the two will keep kissing, kissing to the end, Jing An tired to directly pass out.

　　When she woke up, she didn't know what time it was, the room was dark and unknown, Shen Xihuai was standing by the bed getting dressed, making a rustling noise, Jing An squinted her eyes and looked at his lean white back covered by his shirt. She wanted to see his face to confirm his mood, but Shen Xihuai did not give her the opportunity, quickly dressed, without looking back, lifted the door and left.

　　Jing An is extremely sleepy, but can no longer sleep, picked up the phone to send something to Shen Xihuai, delete and subtract and do not know how to say.

　　She knew she was impulsive and hadn't thought about the consequences in advance, but she didn't regret it at all.

　　The daylight outside is getting brighter and brighter, and there are crisp birds chirping on the windowsill, so Jing An's will is finally overwhelmed by her body, and she closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep.

　　The first time she woke up, she was drowsy, she rolled over and continued, her head was choked by something, she took the pillow away and there was Shen Xihuai's watch lying underneath.

　　Jing An squinted at it for a while and finally sent a message to Shen Xihuai.

　　"You left your watch here."

　　Nearly noon sent, Shen Xihuai did not return until the evening, only three words: "i dont need it anymore."

　　Jing An is not stupid, she immediately understand.