CHAPTER FORTY TWO

JAMIE'S POV

Opening my eyes, determined to go through with my plans for today.

Logan has plans that kept him away all night and I'm not going through this another night. I waited all night into this morning and he's still a no show.

Jess was worried all night noticing my anxiety. I had to faked falling asleep, before Jess finally fell asleep.

I know Logan is out there trying to fix this, but I am also struggling with what happened. Other than my husband, who can I talk to about my recurring nightmare? Who can I discuss my fears with? Talking to a shrink is not optional.

I don't want to worry anyone but I need to get out of here, i'm suffocating and I need to breathe and there's only one place to do that. I must find a way to get out of here, for a few days while Logan is busy dealing with whatever he's dealing with.

"Jamie, you okay?"Jess asked with closed eyes, as she must have heard me stir.

" No" I said softly, causing her to quickly sit up, forcing her eyes open.

"What is it?" she asks with concern.

"Go and call Jer and please don't let anyone" I told her seriously.

She quickly bolt from the bed, out the door, returning with Jer in about six minutes. By the look in Jer's face, she clearly didn't ask him to come.

"What, what? Are you okay?" Jer asks.

Ignoring Jer's question, I had to ask, "Did you drag him off the bed?" I ask Jess, chuckling.

He turned to glared at Jess, definitely upset, he directed his attention back to me, " what's wrong, that couldn't wait until I got up at a time that normal people do?" he asked, relaxing a bit, as he realize that I'm not in too much pain.

"I just want to breathe for a few days and I can't do it here." I said watching for their reaction because I know that they are worried about me.

"Okay"was all that Jer said. turning to Jess, "come with me" he instructs Jess, who stares at him surprise, as she followed him out leaving me confused.

I got out of the bed, gathering my medication and personal items that I would need but cash is going to be a problem, because I don't want whoever is targeting me to trace me through my credit cards.

I still need to shower, but I need Jer or Jess to help me to the bathroom. I made a sacrifice three months ago and I'm not going to be careless and endanger my baby's life because this might be my only chance at having a baby.

"Going somewhere?" I heard, a voice behind me ask.

I stilled instantly, smiling because that's the voice I've been longing to hear and now that he's here, I'm upset, because other things were more important to him than me.

I turn to glare at him, but my glare turned into a frown, as I look into the tired, haggard looking face, of my husband.

'What's wrong?" I forgot about being upset instantly and made a move towards him, realizing I had nothing close by to support my movements.

He quickly made a step towards me, I held out a hand, stopping him, "it's okay" I said, looking away from his intense blue eyes, self-conscious that I'm no longer, who I used to be.

I'm an invalid and having a husband wait hand and foot on me, is not something I feel comfortable with and it's not in my long term plan.

Looking at my bare feet, suddenly conscious about my appearance.

"Can you call Jer or Jess for me please?" I ask softly.

"NO!" he responded, impatiently.

Looking up quickly, frowning. I looked beyond him, checking to see what options I had instead of having him lift me to take me to the bathroom.

"You were in the hospital, I don't want to impose on you. You barely have your strength back" I said, my voice, quivering.

Without saying a word, I felt myself being gently, lifted. "Put me down this instant" I demanded, kicking my feet back and forth.

Logan, walked into the open bathroom, holding me in his arms as I wrapped my arms around his neck for balance.

Turing to look at me with a questioning look, "you can put me there" I said, pointing to the chair in front the sink. "and then you can leave" I instructed him. still averting my eyes from his.

"Remember my rules?" Logan asks, in a gentle tone.

"I don't want your pity" I declared embarrass, still not looking at his expression.

Putting me gently down on the chair, Logan went to sit on the edge of the bathtub, watching me.

Standing up, holding the front of the sink, I started brushing my teeth, aware that Logan's eyes never left me.

"You know that it's intermediating having you sit and stare at me in the bathroom right?" I said, in a muffled voice, with the toothbrush in my mouth, looking at him sideways in the mirror.

Shrugging, he smirked. "hmm, then putting you to sit on the toilet is going to be worst" he muses, looking at the toilet, embarrassing me further.

Spitting toothpaste into the sink as I rinsed my mouth, "that's why I asked for my brother" I muttered, quietly.

"Well you're stuck with your husband for the rest of our life" he chuckles softly, but the humor never reached his eyes.

Needing to use the toilet, I turn to Logan giving him a pleading, "please, I can help myself from here" I ask, "just give me twenty minutes and you can come back for me and leave the door open" I bargained with him.

Sensing my discomfort, he turned to me, with soft gentle eyes, "promise me, you'll be safe and I'll be right out there" he says, pointing to the open doorway.