'Tis The Season (Part Four)

Being that myself, Eddie, Hisako, and Ruth would all be gone off-campus come Christmas, and because I lacked the patience to hold onto their stuff any longer than I needed to once I'd finished shopping, I decided I would just give out Paladin presents early.

Eddie already received his, so it was time to see the look on everyone else's face when they got theirs. Hisako seemed a tad apprehensive when I shoved a small box into her hands. Her apprehension turned to surprise when she unwrapped a set of AirPods, purchased, because I got tired of seeing her walk around with wired earbuds that she wound up catching on everything.

Hisako was a functional girl more than the type to enjoy something goofy or sentimental. I had deemed it best to get her something more useful than anything stupid-fun.

"Whoa. Are you serious?" She stared at the box, about to test to see if it was a gag gift until she saw the receipt taped to the back of the box, "Bel, I just expected a shirt with a lame, slightly offensive joke on it that I'd probably end up sleeping in."

"Oh, everyone's getting one of those too," I said, "-But that's more stocking-stuffer material. If there are two things I don't fuck around with; it's fighting and presents."

Hisako, not understanding that concept however, continued to protest.

"It's too expensive," She argued.

"It was, like $120 bucks."

She looked at me like I was an idiot, so, nothing out of the usual, "That's too expensive!"

I'd originally squared away $300 as a starting budget for everyone's gifts, but seeing as how I hadn't had to dip into it at all for Eddie's, the rest could go to the others. Money wasn't really an object though, and I wound up going over. I'd been working for my parents for years, including over the summer, and I never had particularly expensive tastes. The most I blew money on was for video games and other stupid odds and ends. I had lots of money stockpiled for a kid.

"'Tis the season for spoiling you jerks," I said with a sarcastically grand, sweeping gesture, "Now take the gift and give me a hug, you stick in the mud. Don't steal my gimmick. I'm supposed to be the buzzkill around here."

Hisako rolled her eyes, but smiled and did as requested. That was two down.

Ruth had been extremely easy to shop for. She was type who would have liked just about anything I got her, but she'd actually taken earlier cues and had been hinting to me what she'd be interested in for a while.

With Mister Rasputin's help, Ruth was getting more into art. As it turned out, she had a serious knack for it. More importantly, she enjoyed it. Not just painting or drawing, either. The time he had his art classes attempt sculpting, she really seemed to like it. She found the overall process calming, which was a positive, because any outlet was good when you considered how upsetting it probably was to see as many awful visions as she did. If sketching some of it out helped put her mind at ease, more power to her.

The only problem was that she didn't have unlimited access to the school's materials. Mister Rasputin could let her stay a little later when she wanted to do a little extra work, but she didn't have free reign to come and go as she pleased. This was an easy fix, seeing as how I could just overload her with all of the art materials she could have ever wanted to get her started.

Plus, as a bonus for me, I'd probably get my pick of whatever dope shit she wound up making in the future. Despite the harrowing connotations attached to it, that Limbo painting she did was A-plus. The moment Mister Rasputin graded that thing, I asked Ruth if I could have it. It was coming with me back to San Francisco to go into a frame in my room.

Anyway, when her gifts were presented to her, I got a gigantic hug that almost knocked me down and a massive burst of affection beamed right into my brain.

Alright, that counted as a win for me. Three down.

Laura though... that had been a tougher one, and arguably the most important.

She had sensibilities like Hisako, where she wouldn't enjoy something silly or frivolous, so no flashy bullshit gadgets. Aside from that, I wanted to get her something that wasn't just nice, wasn't just something she'd find some real use out of, but would mean something.

That was the kind of thing I should have been aiming for as her boyfriend, right? The whole 'best gift comes from the heart' adage.

I had that in mind when I found Laura standing by a large window, watching snow fall by herself. Even though there were more than enough people I thought she would be comfortable enough around by then, I could still count on finding her alone more often than not.

"Bellamy," She greeted without turning around, "Do you need something?"

I thought about using some cheesy pick-up line, and just as quickly shot it down. There was a time and a place for everything, and this wasn't it.

"Nothing big," I assured her as I leaned on the ledge beside her, "I just wanted to give you this," I wiggled the box containing her present for emphasis.

She didn't immediately reach out and take it when offered, "I told you I did not want a gift," Laura said.

I feigned confusion, straightening up as if I were surprised, "What? Are you sure? I don't remember you telling me that."

"Selective memory, perhaps?" Laura replied. I could hear the sarcasm in her tone.

"Come on, Buzzsaw," I urged, "This is literally the first Christmas you've probably had, right?"

"I have lived through sixteen previous Christmases, so no."

"You know what I meant, you smartass."

The first actual Christmas where she wasn't being tormented by her creators, or being sent out to kill something for them. The first actual Christmas where she wasn't somehow being exploited. The first actual Christmas around people that loved her, where she wasn't all alone.

Goddamn, it was hard trying to get her used to being treated right.

Laura sighed, probably realizing that I wasn't going to back down on this, "You do not owe me anything."

This girl really wasn't understanding that currying favor wasn't the entire concept of gift-giving. You could just give people things to show them that you valued their existence, and I definitely valued hers, even if she didn't seem to all the time.

"You taking this would do more for me than you, really," I said, trying to sway her, "Look, I give my gifts with the receipt. If you really don't want it, you can take it back and get it exchanged... or cash... or a gift card... or whatever the fuck the place I got this from gives for returns."

She eyed the gift then looked down at her own empty hands, "I do not have anything to give you."

"And you don't need to," I replied, holding the box out to her once more, "This is a token of my appreciation for you being a gumdrop."

Potentially homicidal gumdrop with claws that she was.

I must have worn her down, because eventually she did take the box from me. It was a little bit bigger than my hand, and she seemed to regard it curiously as she tore the wrapping paper away to reveal the plain case underneath.

Watching her open it, I was more excited than she seemed to be, "It isn't Kimura's head dipped in gold like we talked about, but I hope you like it anyway," I tried to joke to downplay my own anticipation.

Laura popped open the lid to reveal a choker inside with a gem in the middle. It wasn't too ornate, but it was a very well-made piece. I made sure to run the idea by lady friends who actually knew what they were looking at before I made the purchase, because I didn't trust my own tastes.

I watched her like a hawk as she pulled it out and appraised it. I hoped if she had a problem with it, she knew she could tell me. All the same, I really wanted her to like it. When she looked up at me and smiled, I released the breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

She thought she was a mistake; something that never should have been created. But framed against the background of falling snow on the campus, she looked like the only bit of warmth in a frozen wasteland. If only she could see herself the way some others did. The way I did.

She took off the necklace she'd been wearing and handed it to me so she could try on my gift. I thought it looked great, but I was obviously biased. Pulling out my phone I handed it over so Laura could get a glimpse of herself.

As she checked herself out, I busied myself by flapping my gums, "The gem is supposed to change colors depending on your mood," I pointed out as the white gem turned a cool green for a neutral color once it had gotten acclimated to its wearer, "Now people around you can actually figure out if you're pissed about stuff."

"Present company included?" Laura quipped, an eyebrow slightly raised.

"Oh, absolutely," I admitted freely, "But seriously, I thought it fit your style, and I figured if I got you something big and time-wasty, you'd just get annoyed."

Laura then used my phone to look at more than the choker, "My... style," She began checking out the rest of her clothes; black corset top over black jeans with black arm-sleeves cut off at the fingers. She oftentimes dressed in a similar manner.

"Yeah, your style," I said, gesturing at her entire person, "You know; the way you dress. Your whole aesthetic."

"Aesthetic?" Laura sounded skeptical that I managed to break that out of my vocabulary.

I couldn't help but get a little smug, "I've got that 'word of the day' drip, I'll have you know. Better start breaking out your dictionary to deal with me."

It seemed like I almost got a laugh out of her, "I know what 'aesthetic' means, Bellamy," She regarded herself again at that, looking herself over from head to toe, "I... took it from my cousin. She wore clothes like this often... while I stayed with her and my aunt. They were good to me. They taught me a lot. But then, we had to separate... for their safety."

She didn't need to say much more. I was familiar with the primary source of her pains in life, "The Facility."

"Yes..." Laura nodded, looking down. Blue must have been the color for sad, because that was what the gem turned to. Not that I needed it, as it was all over Laura's body language.

"Sorry for bringing it up," I said, wincing at having done something potentially hurtful.

Damn it. I wanted to try and make her happy; not give her an excuse to dwell on the past. Could I do anything for this kid that didn't result in digging up some shallowly buried trauma?

"No. They were good memories," She reached up to her chest and put a hand on her heart, "When I think of them, it feels a lot like how I feel when I think about you now. It is not quite the same though," She concluded cryptically.

While she likely just meant that it felt different. Whether it was better or not was left up to my interpretation. One could only hope it was at least comparable.

I wrapped my arms around her and smiled when I heard her sigh in relief and return the gesture, pressing her head against my chest, "Merry Christmas, Buzzsaw," I said, giving her a kiss on top of the head.