Curious minds

The person who said curiosity killed the cat surely hasn't met me because I'm still alive and as curious as ever

After hearing what my friend said I walked home with an anxious heart. Yes I was happy he was feeling the same way, that he liked me the way I liked him but childhood trauma certainly knows how to kick in on its own. As a person with mommy issues and daddy issues from my very childhood before teenage hood I was vulnerable to very shallow and sensitive thoughts.

I feared he would walk away like everyone else or he would hurt me too because I wasn't enough, I wasn't worthy of love . Despite all I knew of him and how I knew he was and how he wouldn't dare do it I still thought of the worst possible future.

It scared me deep down and made me wonder if I deserved his love and affection,maybe I did maybe I didn't,time would tell

The night passed as I turned and tossed in bed wondering if my pal had lied to make me happy or if my crush was being honest with me for I always wear my heart on my sleeves for him.

Soon dawn came and I groggily walked out of bed to prepare for the school day my dear friend's words tattooed in my mind throughout the preparations for the day.

As I walked into the school yard I saw him further away deep in conversation with a classmate, I walked over to greet them and get help for the science test I was to have later .

His eyes were on me observing my actions, they were so condensing I couldn't make out anything from looking at them, I couldn't comprehend if he was in love,had a crush or was looking from a sign from me.

As his friend left I jumped straight to the question that had been making me wonder too much

'So, when I left you with my pal what did you talk about she's refusing to tell me ,please do enlighten me' I asked nervously clutching my notebook to me looking rather at his attire than his eyes.

'Go write your science test first , we'll talk later. We can chat during our geography study alright?' he told me with laughter tinting his voice and a beautiful smile on his face accompanying the sweet rejection to tell me.

I sighed frustrated but agreed to wait a while longer, and thus my day went on but my mind refused to calm down for the question still remains , what was said when I was gone.

During my English lesson I saw him walk out of the literature classroom after his lesson,we locked eyes and he smirked and fixed his attire his eyes still on me. I couldn't help but blush and look away first.

And to make matters worse the girl who was my desk mate also liked him....

She may have not noticed this exchange but she surely has a foul thing to say about me .

The day began to become busy and we both didn't manage to find the time to study , unfortunately for me and my curiosity but I did get to speak with him and have him help me with an assignment but what can I do, it's incomparable to knowing his true feelings for me.

So as the bell rings I walk home tired from the events at school and mentally exhausted from thinking overtime.

Hopefully the morning will bring a new beginning for us or it might as well be the end of our relationship but I hope it shan't be something painful, for a lovestruck person once told me risks in love bring rewards and joys half the time it all depends on what the risk is and if it's worth it