Prologue

I could hear the pounding of my heart in my ears.

The constriction of a phantom hand gripping my throat.

The burning cold blood constantly stabbing my body from the inside out.

My teeth aching at the clenching of my jaw, trying with all my might not to scream out in pain.

My breath, shallow and uneven. My lungs, struggling with each breath.

My bones ached.

I didn't want to be here anymore.

With no sight, or smell, I was left with only my hearing. Hearing that was starting to weaken by every fleeting minute. This was torture, painful. But it could never match up to fact that I would never be able to see my daughter's face again, that I could never smell where she'd been playing today, and soon, I wouldn't even be able to hear her innocent voice. Though lately it hasn't been the most pleasant thing to be listening to. The tone of pain and sorrow, the raspiness of her voice from nights of crying. But nevertheless, it was her, and I wanted to soak up every second of it while I still could.

I didn't want to leave her, not like this, not ever. Not to leave her, or my pack, or my husband.

Derek.

I knew everyone would be in good hands because he was just him. Strong and smart, for both our daughter and our pack. All of the ups and downs we'd been through, how I'd seen him fight for what he loved, there was no doubt in my mind that he could do it. If anyone could it was him.

"Mommy?" I heard faintly.

I jumped slightly from surprise. I couldn't even hear her footsteps anymore. This is the end I suppose...

I smiled and tried to look towards where I was guessing her voice came from. "Hi baby girl." I said weakly, the scratchiness of my dehydrated throat shattering my voice.

"We're on the other side, Sam." Derek said, his voice a little more clear, knowing he needed to be a bit louder for me now.

I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold in a choked sob and turned my head to where they really were. "Maria, sweetheart," I swallowed, "you're going to need to speak up for mommy, okay?"

She didn't say anything, but I could almost see her nodding in my head. Her hair bouncing slightly over her shoulders.

"Mommy, are you going to die?"

I felt a tear form in my eye and slowly trickle down my cheek. "Um," I cleared my throat slightly, "yes baby. Mommy is dying."

"Why...?" I could hear the strain in her voice. My heart was breaking.

"Well, when people get sick, really sick, they die. And the moon goddess takes us to paradise."

"Can the moon goddess take me too?"

I smiled. "No. You still have so much to do here. So much to accomplish. You're going to do some amazing things."

"But I want to go with you!"

"Maria, no." I reached out for her hand and she gave it to me. "I love you. So much. But mommy is leaving soon. And you need to stay here and watch your dad." I choked, more tears dampening my face. "And grandma and grandpa, and Auntie Amber, and everyone in the pack. Just for me. I'm trusting you, and only you. Can you do that for mommy?"

I assumed she nodded again, so I continued. "And once you're all grey and old, you can join me in paradise." I placed my other hand over hers and felt her warmth, knowing this was the last time I'd be able to. "Now, go to the house with your Auntie. Daddy and I need to talk for a bit."

I felt her little fingers drag across my palm as she was pulled away.

I began to cry even more, the tears seeming to have no end. "Is she gone?"

I felt a hand touch my head and Derek's scruffy cheek brush up against mine. "Yes." He said and began soothing my hair.

"Everything hurts. And I can't-" I swallowed. "I can't do it anymore. I can't see, I can't smell, I can barely hear. I'm so scared Derek. I'm so scared. I don't want to die." I couldn't control myself. I couldn't stop talking. He needed to know what I had to say, he needed to understand what I needed from him, I needed to hear my own voice just a little longer, I needed to hear his just a little longer.

I covered my mouth, trying to hold back the sobs, but it was too much. The pain, physically, mentally, emotionally. It was overwhelming me, consuming me. I didn't want to live anymore, I didn't want to live in this rotting meat suit. I wasn't alive, I wasn't anything. Practically a vegetable.

"I know, I know. It's okay, it's okay."

My husband, my rock. I don't know what I'd do without him.

I calmed myself down a little bit and gripped his shirt and pulled him down to me. I wanted to feel his lips one last time, I wanted it to be just like the first time, something that can only happen once, something irreplaceable.

With his lips on mine, electricity shot through me. It was the only pleasant feeling I'd felt in the last 22 hours.

"I love you. I love you so much." I could barely hear myself anymore. It's was all a muffled mess, nothing was coming through.

"I love... u... t..."

That was it. I had lost it.

I'd be dead by morning.