Who Am I - Ella POV

The second I got to the bathroom I locked myself in a stall. I didn't even know myself right now. I loved how he made me feel and wasn't even ashamed about it. I completely lost myself to him and just felt us. I wish it was different afterwards between us.

I let all my tears out then went to the mirror to fix my face. With how easily I cried I knew to bring makeup remover and mascara to reapply. After twenty minutes I looked just like I did before our little sex in a coat closet escapade and then my melt down.

I knew he was with Chrissy before me and for almost a whole year. Of course they did things together. I wasn't sure if it upset me that he openly dated her and I wasn't good enough, or that she was right here in my face talking about how they were together. You didn't usually hear the guy you were with ex talking about their past sex life.

I shook my head at myself and went back out to the party. I was upset but the stabbing pain in my heart was becoming a natural way of being lately. Amber waved me over and I took a hard breath then moved towards her. Eros was there and Chrissy was right next to him. This was so stupid.

Was I being unreasonable to feel so jealous? She was good friends with his sister and they just broke up. Eros and I weren't together, but he did clarify he wasn't with her anymore. God, I was tired of thinking about this. This wasn't supposed to be so hard. I'm creating unnecessary drama about a boy that I'm not even dating.

"Want to sneak out of here?" Amber whispered to me.

"You're taking me too or I'm telling dad!" Jackie said not even looking at us.

"You're only fourteen. Ella and I are going to do adult things."

"Please you turned eighteen like two months ago. You're barely an adult."

I giggled at them bickering back and forth. Eros caught my eye as he laughed at a joke someone told. His smile was wide and it made me smile bigger too. His eyes caught mine and he winked at me. God, I'm totally obsessed and it sucks. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Let's go! Jackie can come too." I said grabbing Amber's hand. I needed to get out here.

"Ella, you look lovely dear." Eros' dad was right there as we turned around. Great! I wasn't exactly known for being smooth.

"Hi! Thank you!" I nervously moved the little fly away hairs from my braid behind my ear. I rarely spoke to this man. He was intimidating and I didn't have a lot of respect for him.

"Aaron your daughter is turning into a beautiful woman. Have you two discussed what career she wants to per-sue? We have some intern positions open at work that could be a good start."

"Ella is taking some classes at college and has a part time job. She is still figuring things out right now." My dad responded putting his arm around my waist. He always avoided this question. Was he embarrassed I was an art major? I looked to him annoyed and moved away from him.

"Actually, I want to be an artist. I'm studying all the different styles to find what fits the best."

I wasn't in the mood to be perfect Ella. I heard the chuckles around me. It didn't bother me before so it wasn't going to bother me now.

"That is a wonderful hobby. What about long term career?" Eros' father asked.

"That is my long term career." I shot back to him crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm sure with Aaron helping she will do fine." A man Eros was talking to before commented. I looked at him annoyed. Seriously? Did he just say that?

"I don't need Aaron's money and I'll do just fine on my own. Better than you, either of you." I looked over the man with the rude comment then back to Eros' dad.

My eyes drifted to Eros himself and he looked nervous. He looked away, probably embarrassed and I shook my head at him.

"I've seen Ella's work and I doubt she'll need anything from anyone. Truly amazing." Jack smiled to me as he put his hand to my back. "My good friend, Cheryl, says Ella has a real eye for tapping into raw emotions and bringing it to life."

I didn't know he was friends with Cheryl. "That was supposed to be anonymous." I spoke low not meeting his eyes. This was embarrassing.

"It was, but I hosted the event and I hired Cheryl. Only a few know the artist behind the art. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." He whispered the last part to me making me smile like a little kid.

That was really sweet. Not just the promise to keep it anonymous, but how he stepped in to defend me.

I glanced back to Eros and disappointment race through my body. He still stood there silent. I didn't need anyone to stick up for me, but if I could choose one person to alway have my back it unfortunately would be him. I needed to let go of fantasy Eros and start seeing him for who he is.

"Thank you, Jack." I smiled up to him and he returned the same look of desire. Mine was to have a partner that deserved to be by my side and I'm sure I could guess what his was.

"No worries. I've been wanting to say I knew it was you since that day. Cheryl said you sold a few more at one of her client's opening too. That is an amazing start for any business venture."

"I was a little discouraged from the first event that I didn't get a lot of feedback, but at the art opening Cheryl said people asked for printed copies of the sold pieces. She is working to get them made. It's scary, but exciting." My body was all giddy talking about it. I was hiding this part of me for so long and I didn't want to get my hopes up.

"Ella, that's amazing. Why didn't you tell me?" My dad was next to me looking shocked. He had never seen my work either.

I shrugged my shoulder. "I wasn't sure if it was just a fluke or not. Plus, my mind has be preoccupied lately."

Usually I was spiraling in depression from my dad's anniversary of when he died, but not this year. Nope, this year I decided to lose my virginity on that day. Eros was a pretty good distraction, or I guess replacement. Trading one sadness for the other.

"Excuse us. Amber and I were going to dance some with Jackie. We only have a few days to see each other." I shot Eros' dad a nasty look and walked off with them.

"Wow! I think I see why Amber wants to be your lover now." Jackie said as we walked out of the building.

"What?" Why was she so weird, and scary?

"That was badass. Very passive aggressive yet still bitchy. Loved it." Jackie winked at me.

"Anyone that takes a dig at my dad has all my love." Amber hugged me as we walked to the taxi station. "I would totally be your lover too." Amber kissed my cheek and I laughed at her.

"We should do something big tomorrow. Get away from this stupid city and just have a girls night out." Amber said as we got in the car.

"My friend invited me out tomorrow actually." I never told anyone when my birthday was so Amber had no idea. It would be nice to just escape a little instead of dragging out conversation with my parents at dinner then crying all night missing my dad.

"I'm guessing I'm too young." Jackie said, but there was that little hope in her eyes.

"You're definitely not coming." I laughed and Amber agreed.

"Whatever! I didn't want to go anyways. I'm sure Barbie on crack will have something stupid planned anyways."

Jackie had serious issues with Lucy. I could tell she loved her, but I think she only tolerated her bubbly overly nice personality.

"We have tonight, Jackie." I said with a smile. We needed to do something for her.

"I got the perfect place." Amber bit her lips with that look in her eyes. I knew I would regret this. That look in her eyes was nothing but trouble. I smiled and nodded my head. I've been reckless enough lately why not with some friends. Granted I only saw Amber a few days a year and Jackie hated me up until ten minutes ago. Still it would be better than going home and wallowing in self pity.