No Time to Heal - Ella POV

The second we hit the plastic ice floor my arm began radiating pain. I looked to Eros, but he was just seething in anger at Stacy. He didn't look at me, didn't check if I was ok, didn't even offer to help me up. He just stood up and started yelling.

My mind went straight to the past when a boy from my class back home pulled my pigtails and I fell trying to swat his hand away. I instantly started to cry and my father was there in seconds.

"Hey love, don't cry." His soft hazel eyes looked at me with so much pain. My father could never bare seeing me upset. I could literally see his heart breaking when I teared up or pouted.

"Jacob pulled my braids and I fell." I sobbed to him.

He chuckled brushing my tears away. "I saw baby. He was being rude to you and I'll talk to his parents. You don't have to cry though, ok. Let me see that big girl smile I love so much." His eyes twinkled at me and I gave in widening my lips in a big smile with all my teeth.

"There's my baby. Come on let's get some hot chocolate." He picked me up lightly tickling my side as we walked off the iced covered lake.

As I sat on the cold plastic ice my eyes teared more remembering how kind my father was. Even Jacob, the boy that pulled my pig tails, apologized immediately. We became pretty good friends after that.

I reached to my ear to feel the earrings I alway wore from my father. He bought them for me as my Christmas present, but he never had the chance to give them to me. I found them one day when going through our old house. There was a note that said "For my little girl to shine even brighter".

The second I felt nothing on my ear pure undiluted sadness bubbled in me. It was gone! My father's earring was gone. Everyday I was losing a little more of him. Memories, traditions, kindness, and now his presents.

I looked up to Eros staring down at me with a pissed off face holding out his hand. He looked at me like an annoying child and I lost my temper. I didn't want him. I didn't like how he treated me and I definitely didn't want his help in any way.

I yelled at him not caring how I spoke. He didn't understand why I was upset with him but not Stacy. He will never understand that it was because he meant everything to me and she meant nothing. It was my fault though. Eros never lead on that I meant anything to him. Right now I didn't care though.

I walked off to find my earring leaving him even more angry than before. I kept praying to let it just sparkle somewhere. I can't lose it, not this piece of him too.

"Hey, princess. What's wrong?" My dad was knelt beside me as I crawled under the seats where we sat for the tree lighting.

"I lost my father's earring." I cried still frantically crawling on the ground.

"What?" He looked at me strange.

"I lost my father's earring." I said more stern than I should had. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone though.

"I see. I don't think you will find it. How about I take you to the jewelers tomorrow and get a new pair? We can make a whole day out of it."

"I don't want one from you." I stood looking around. Where else could it be? I didn't go far. Maybe I lost it before coming here. Yes! It could be in my bedroom.

"Ella, sweetie." My mom stood before me now.

"I have to go check my room." I went to walk pass her but she held my arm.

"Ella, calm down, sweetie." Her brown eyes looked intensely at me. I looked down at myself and realized I was covered in grass and dirt. I wiped my face only smearing more dirt over my tears.

"Mom! He got those for me and didn't even have a chance..." my eyes started tearing and I ripped my arm from her. "Just forget it. You wouldn't understand. I have to go."

She let me leave, but I saw her own tears. My father would be so upset with me if he knew I made her cry. He was just as hurt to see her upset as he was me. I never purposely made her upset and I felt like crap now that I spoke so rude to her.

The second I got home I tore through my bedroom. I flipped my mattress, empty my dresser, ripped all my clothes off the hangers. There was nothing. I finally fell asleep on my floor crying. It was gone and it was another part of my father I would never have again.

———

I woke in the morning to my dad gently nudging my shoulder. "Hey, princess. Good morning." He smiled to me with sadness in his eyes.

I looked around my trashed room and sighed. "I'm sorry about last night. I just lost my mind the second I didn't feel him there. I mean, the earring, when I didn't feel the earring there."

"It's ok Ella. I know losing your father was never easy for you or your mother. No amount of time will heal that loss. I didn't mean to upset you by offering to replace it either. I just didn't know what to do and said that."

"I appreciate it dad. I'm sorry I snapped about it. I was just... I don't know, just out of my mind, I guess."

"Let's get some coffee. Today will be a better day, ok."

"Yeah, ok. Thank you. I'll be there in a few minutes."

He gave me a kiss on top my head and left. I went to my bathroom looking at the mess I became. I had worn a little mascara last night and it was all down my face now. I tilted my head to the side looking at the one earring that remained. I wasn't taking it out so I guess it will just be one more thing that made me weird, but I didn't care.

I washed my face then changed my clothes. My dad was right, today will be a better day. As I walked out of my closet, stepping over the pile of clothes, my mom was sitting on my bed.

"Hi mom. Everything ok?" I walked to her with worry. She rarely came in here.

"Hi Ella. I wanted to check if you were ok. This room is... untidy." She smiled a little looking around.

"I had a bit of an outburst last night. I'll clean up later, I promise."

"I know you will." She looked at my one earring frowning. "I should had given those to you after..."

"It's ok mom. I found them and he would be happy I still got to wear them."

"He would. I remember when he picked them out for you. He was so excited to give you your first pair of real diamonds." She smiled thinking of him as her eyes watered.

"Please don't cry mama. Dad wouldn't want you to be so upset, especially not because of him."

"No he wouldn't." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "He was a really good man. I miss him everyday, I miss everything."

"Me too. I love Aaron and everything you both gave me here too though."

"It's bittersweet isn't it."

"Yeah, it is." I sat next to her laying my head to her shoulder. She reached her arm around me giving me a little hug. I ate up every second of it too.

"I'm sorry I can't be better for you Ella. If you need anything you can always come to me though."

"You're perfect mama, just like daddy always said you are."

"Thank you, sweetie pie."

I giggled at the old nick name my town use to call me.

My mom looked at me a moment. "Is there something going on with you and the boy next door?"

Wow! Wasn't expecting that question, especially from my mom. "I don't think so. We were kind of friends. I completely lost my mind to him yesterday though. I don't think he will talk to me after that."

She thought quietly looking a little confused. "Ok, I'm sorry you two had a fight. Eros isn't someone you should be friends with though."

"Why?" Now it was my turn to be confused.

"He is just... he just wants different things than you, sweetie. His father is always traveling and changing wives like their underwear. I don't think Eros knows the value of family, just his own needs. I don't want you to get your hopes up thinking he will be somebody he's not."

I was shocked by what my mom said. It did seem to fit Eros, yet I wanted to defend him. I looked down thinking. We wanted very different things and at the thought I might be pregnant he ran off showing me he wouldn't help if I was ever in that position with him. His father remarried five times and his sisters only came to visit during holidays. That's not the future I wanted for my family.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, mom." I left the conversation there. I didn't really know Eros to defend him and everything he has done showed me he was everything my parents thought he would be. I should just write him off forever.

My body was not on the same page though. No one else set me on fire like he did. No one pissed me off like he did either. It didn't matter anyways. I'm sure Eros realized what a true freak I was. We already agreed to no more sex and now I'm sure the five minute friendship we had is destroyed.

After breakfast I decided to spend my day in the studio. I didn't want to be in the world today and I was thankful I found my escape when I needed one.

I dragged myself home well after dark wanting to just crash. My hands physically hurt from drawing for hours non stop. I think I even had a few blisters forming. None of the pieces I did today I would ever show anyone, but it felt good to put what I felt on paper in my own way. I stuck mostly to black and white sketches and the imagery was of course either of my father or whatever relationship Eros and I had lately.

The second I opened my bedroom door I screamed. People really needed to stop showing up unexpectedly like this.

"Ella, what's wrong?" My dad yelled coming down the hall."

"Just a freeloader laying on my bed. I'm ok, daddy." I smiled at him and he knew how happy I was.

"Get in here and hug me already." Amber jumped on my bed yelling to me.

It was almost Christmas so that meant Eros' sisters would all be in town. Lucy arrived yesterday. She was tall and skinny with short blonde hair and blue eyes, in a nut shell, drop dead gorgeous. Her and Eros were only a few months apart and were the closest.

The wild woman jumping on my bed was Amber. She was almost two years younger than us, but was the boss. She didn't take anyone's shit, and did whatever she wanted. Her mom lived in France but sent her to live with her father on and off to be more well rounded in the world. The second we met she instantly attached herself to me and we became friends. I wish she lived here full time, but she didn't get along with her father.

The youngest of the sisters was Jackie. She was only fourteen and lived in Russia. Despite being much younger than all of us we feared her the most. She had this very sneaky glint in her eye that said she was up to no good. Jackie played the most pranks and loved making people scared. I was a little worried about her as an adult, but so far everything has been innocent fun. She was only fourteen so we see how the teenage hormones change her.

"I can't explain how good it is to see you." I ran to her jumping on my bed too. She hugged me tight and we continue to scream and jump in excitement. I got a couple days of my friend and I wasn't wasting it being upset about my dad or Eros.

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