Chapter 8 - Nora Gasal

Horatio breathed slowly. He ran his finger over her palm, carefully feeling for her. Repeated beeps came one after the other. He listened to them, relieved with every one. He was happy she was alive and unharmed. He was however unhappy that she was still unconcious.

"Sylvia, please wake up. I need your help. I can't afford to make a mistake here." Horatio called, his voice was shaky, he wiped his face with the back of his hand then wiped his wet hand in his shirt. "There's too much at stake here."

Sylvia remained motionless. The beeping continued. 

Horatio took in a deep breath, sterile air filling his lungs. "Hey you, do something...anything." Horatio's body heaved as he spoke.

"Report: There is nothing we can do. The Toldaap's advanced V.O.I.D. technology has already accelerated Sylvia's healing, outclassing anything we are capable of." The Analyst replied.

Horatio cursed. He knew there was nothing he could do, he knew Sylvia would wake up eventually, he knew everything would go back to how it was afterwards.

He also knew, with absolute surety that this was his fault. The weakened point had opened only because of the load both he and Margulis placed on it. Neither of them knew of that rift's existence. It was Horatio's fault that Margulis had been there, she was there to scold him, and that had led to this.

 Horatio fell to his knees, grabbing hold of the bedcloth. He sobbed quietly, shaking and cursing fate.

Time passed, Horatio reamained on his knees. He spent that time in his mind, doing anything to take him away from the guilt he was feeling. He thought of the future. He knew he had to secure her safety.

Horatio stood. He had no idea how long he had been crying. He looked down at Sylvia's face and quickly turned away. He shook his head, he couldn't stay any longer, he had to do something.

"I'm sorry Sylvia, this is all my fault, you shouldn't be here," Horatio said aloud, turning towards the door. "I'll fix this, don't worry, I won't ever let you suffer through this again."

Horatio slid the door open stepping out of the medical room. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. It was a sleek new model Margulis had gotten for him so they could communicate.

"Hey, Margulis." He said into the phone. He was walking through the Toldaap mansion, making his way towards the exit. He had her number on speed dial and she always picked before the third ring.

"Horatio." Margulis' voice came through, "I'm a bit busy right now, is there an emergency?"

"No, nothing like that. You're at our spot right? I'm coming over." Horatio hit the 'end call' button before Margulis could answer. He didn't need her to, he could tell exactly where she was from how her voice sounded..

Horatio breathed deeply, taking in the crisp smell of the thick trees. If everything went according to plan this would be the last time he would walk through these woods.

"Flauna," Horatio called. The flame came into his palm exactly as he wanted it. The Flauna had become more obedient after the incident. Horatio waved the fire away.

"Hey Margulis." Horatio waved at her, walking into the clearing.

"Horatio-" Margulis jumped. Horatio noticed a few sigils closing. "How did you know I was here?"

Horatio laughed, "Where else would you be?" He said walking closer to Margulis. 

"Is everything okay, Horatio?" Margulis' face softened as she watched Horatio's slowed gait. He gave her an apologetic smile, realising she had noticed.

"I um, I was just with Sylvia." Horatio began, gesturing generally, "She doesn't seem to be waking up soon." Horatio said keeping a straight face "I'm worried." He shook his head dismissively, "I'm scared Margulis."

"Horatio," Margulis started, she paused searching for what to say.

Horatio sighed, he knew he couldn't drag this out too long. It was the way Margulis made him feel, she could make him reconsider without saying a thing. He played with his fingers, cracking them absentmindedly. He shook his head, it was now or never.

"Horatio, Horatio. Wake up." Horatio rose slowly, his vision blurred, his dream fluttered away. He blinked, feeling residual wearyness on his eyes. Before him was a blurry shape, mixed colours of blue and brown danced imperceptively.

"Horatio, what's wrong?" He heard a voice ask. Horatio ran his hands over his eyes, they came away wet. Had he been crying? He looked up to see Nora staring down at him, her face stained with worry.

"Hey." Horatio forced a smile. His head hurt. He ran a palm over his face.

"This again?" Nora's voice was plaintive, her expression portrayed her worry.

Horatio looked away, his head hurt even more, and so did his chest. "Sorry." He mumbled.

Nora sighed. She pulled a chair and took a seat by him. Horatio felt her hand on his back. "Horatio, tell me what's going on?"

Horatio's fists clenched. As soon as he heard Nora's words his mind and body reacted. He had hidden something and she wanted to uncover it.

He closed his mind, intentionally blocking out Nora's words. He didn't want to remember, it hurt too much. But his brain wasn't listening. He heard the voices, loud as day, then he started seeing the sights.

His memory had become more vivid as a result of his binding, he knew that now. So why were the visions still haunting him? Even now when he they should not?

"Horatio you can't be serious." Margulis' voice said. Horatio covered his ears, blocking out the sound of her voice, blocking everything out. The memories still came, ignoring the fact he had closed his eyes and covered his ears, he saw Margulis. Her face was pale as she spoke, her voice shaky and weak. And it was his fault.

"I am serious." He felt himself saying. At the time he wasn't really sure of what he was saying. He knew he had to do it now, but it still didn't lessen the pain.

"Break out bond Margulis," Horatio said, authority in his voice this time. the authority that he lost when he was bound. He glared at Margulis, piercing her with his eyes. Margulis shrunk back, defiance written on her face, but a broken resolve lay under.

"Horatio, please don't do this. Sylvia can protect herself. We could protect her if it's necessary." Her hand reached for Horatio's. He pulled back, watching her with eyes that hurt. He didn't mean it, it was just necessary, otherwise, he would rescind on his decision.

"Margulis, this bond isn't giving me what I need, I agreed for a reason." Horatio informed, his hands rising to his chest, carefully undoing his shirt buttons.

Margulis blushed, her surprise noticeable, "Horatio, you don't have to do this, you can just ask-" Margulis began and trailed off. She stood in silence watching Horatio's bare chest. Her eyes travelled across his skin. "Horatio..." She gasped.

"I joined you for one single reason," He said, "to protect others." Margulis froze, looking at him she saw the truth in his statement. She was staring at scars, scars that streaked across his torso, disfiguring him. These were scars he got in the process of closing rifts, scars he got from fighting the enemies of the voidwalkers, scars he got from keeping the world safe.

Margulis covered her mouth with her hand as she came upon the final realisation, these were scars he got, from protecting her on every battlefield.

"Horatio...I-I didn't know." Margulis' words failed her, she couldn't articulate the grief she felt. She was quiet, unable to take her eyes of Horatio's body, she knew how Horatio was feeling right now, she too had felt that way.

She clenched her fist, forcing herself to muster courage. She knew that his feeling would only grow, the doubt in his heart would slowly corrode his faith, weakening his will. 

"Horatio, you are protecting others." She had to remind him of that fact, that his sacrifice was not in vain, "You don't have to keep taking hits for me, I can-"

Horatio shook his head and Margulis stopped "I'm fine with taking hits for you Margulis." He sighed, "Nora, Sylvia and you Margulis are the closest people to me, the only people I truly care about, even more than myself." He said.

He tugged his shirt back on, it was chilly outside late in September . He continued once he was properly dressed, "That, is why I chose to join you, to protect those I care about. But, if you're getting hurt, despite my efforts...if working with you hurts the people most important to me," He paused, taking a moment to calm his breathing.

To Margulis that moment felt like an eternity. She heard ever word Horatio spoke. Hanging on them, trying to think up counter-points.

She understood his pain, his frustration, regret and anger. She knew he was beating himself up over Sylvia's accident. She knew they had been lucky, she had been lucky. In that situation she could have lost both the Peppingars.

Margulis knew she had to be ready for what Horatio was about to say, this was a crucial moment she could not afford to mess up. Her heart beat once in that moment. She tensed.

"Then I would rather have our bond broken."

Margulis felt her heart sink, sink low then shatter. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. She breathed and tried again, "Horatio...I...Sylvia..." Margulis felt time slow, she tried to think, anything that could make him reconsider.

"Horatio please." She looked into his eyes, his cold unfeeling eyes, and she knew, knew at that moment that she had lost him. She clenched her fists and looked down to the ground, trying to hide her eyes. Her vision blurred as tears began to fall. She heaved a long breath and spoke.

"Okay."

Horatio heard her words. He had gotten her to agree. He knew this would be hard, he knew how she would react, how hard she would take his decision.

He also knew how hard he would take it, the pain on her face as she was forced to agree with his decision, he knew that pain would eventually turn to hate, and he hated himself for making that happen. He cursed fate, the force he had so easily manipulated.

That was his memory, the terror that troubled him, the repercussion for his actions. Like a tormenting ghost, it had done its job and then left, leaving Horatio back in his classroom with Nora beside him, her caring notions misplaced on him.

Horatio held Nora's hand tightly. 'If only I could' He complained to himself. He had analysed every possibility, there was just no way for her to know without raising incompatibility.

He had searched so desperately for truth, and now he would do anything to make that truth a falsehood.

"Horatio tell me, please." Nora begged again.

Horatio felt his heart quicken, blood rushed through his veins in a powerful surge. Nora's tone made him feel different, she was comforting him. 'This is my fault' He noted 'Nora shouldn't have to worry about me.'

"It's nothing, really." He said, he hated having to lie. I took all he had to say those three words, to keep the others from tumbling out.

Nora was silent. Horatio took that as a good thing. He was happy she understood him, but as he sat waiting for her to move on to another topic another feeling began to show itself. It washed over him like a freezing bucket of water. He felt as though he was drenched in it, drowning in a sea of it. He had began to be more and more acquainted with it. He would speak its name acidly, Guilt.

He looked up to face Nora. He had to do something, say something. Nora looked back, her gaze was unpleasant, an angry visage glaring back at him. His heart sped up, he could feel bile in his throat, he hated himself right now.

"I guess it's a first." She sighed.

"A first?" He asked, the pressure in his chest exploding into panic.

"The first time you've insulted me, and it really hurt. To think I'm stupid enough to believe that." Horatio felt Nora's disappointment. To him, it was living breathing thing. It was a monster that bore on him. A beast of his own making, with claws and fangs ready to strike. He felt it take out his heart and devour it whole.

"I'm sorry."

"You've changed Horatio." Nora stood up, grabbing her bag. Horatio knew her words to be true, He was no longer her helper, neither was he her savior. It would be a stretch to call him her friend. He was broken now, weaker than that day at the dam seven years ago.

"I'm sorry." He said again. Nora shook her head and left the classroom. Horatio stared at the shut door, then it dropped back onto the table. His mind felt slowed, as though bogged in marsh.

"I need help." He said aloud.

"Indeed you do." The Analyst responded.

"What do I do?" Horatio looked at the door again. He had to leave the class but his body felt unresponsive.

"I simply stated that you need help, I did not say I could provide it." The Analyst said. "But I am in the process of a related analysis, perhaps that could help."

Horatio siged.

The classroom door slid open. Horatio froze, so did the one who entered.

Horatio felt a sudden rush of adrenaline. He couldn't believe his eyes. Fire burned at his throat, he felt like throwing up. His heat hammered at his chest and a sharp pain touched his palm.

He closed his hand into a tight fist, feeling his nails cut into his skin. When he spoke his voice was a dangerous growl, the word 'red' raced through his mind.

"Margulis." He said acidly. The red-hair did not break her scowl. The air was icy, chilled electricity zipped through.

Margulis entered the classroom, not breaking eye-contact with Horatio, piercing him with her glare. "Don't soil my name with your lips boy." She warned simply.

Horatio smirked. He held out his palm, ordering her to stop. He had noticed it now, the stressed crackling that brought her here.

"This one is mine." He said. He had become much better at sensing rifts, he had to, to keep those he cared about safe, their number recently lowered by one.

Margulis smirked at his statement. "Try and take it from me, Horatio."

A glassy shattering rang through, Horatio swiftly assimilated the energy, mixing it with his as he pushed it through his body. His body took it readily, prepping it for some light exercise.

Horatio pushed open the small white gate, stumbling into his front yard. 

"Ow!" He cried accidentally pushing too much weight on his injured leg. He dragged himself inside wobbling dangerously.

"Another fight!?" He heard Sylvia ask as he wobbled inside.

"Don't worry, nobody was seriously injured." Horatio huffed, propping himself against a wall.

"Well except for you." Sylvia noted, her eyes moved over him. Horatio noted clear worry.

He smirked, Sylvia was way too caring for this world.

"I'll heal." He groaned. He felt frustrated and angry. He though again about the fight.

'That cheating bitch!' he cursed mentally. He definitely would have beaten her, if the didn't fight dirty. Just how was he supposed to avoid a giant fireball at point blank?

Luckily the fire element he gleaned from the rift protected any major damage. 'Wait, was she trying to kill me?'

Sylvia sighed "Wait there, I'll go get the first aid."

Horatio watched her go. He was grateful to the Toldaaps for speeding up her recovery wth their V.O.I.D. technology. She had woken up just a week after he broke ties with Margulis.

It was explained to her that the Toldaaps owned a highly advanced private hospital. A front Horatio had requested.

Sylvia came back, holding a black box. "Take off your shirt, let me get a good look at your injuries." She said.

Horatio hesitated. "Maybe I should do it myself. You shouldn't have to worry about me." He said with a light laugh.

"Nonsense Horatio. I'm your big sis, it's my job to worry. Now take off your shirt so I can treat your wounds, and no more fighting." Sylvia said sternly. 

Horatio gave her a tight smile. Slowly he took off his shirt. As expected Sylvia stood motionless for a while, he could see her eyes tracing each scar on his torso. But she said nothing, instead setting down the box at pulling out disinfectant. 

Horatio tugged on a black tee and headed out of his room. Sylvia was coming out of her own room, looking dressed to go outside.

"Im going over to the Toldaap's place for dinner. Do you want to join me?" She said, answering Horatio's questioning look. He waved off her invitation.

"I've got homework." He explained.

"Okay, I'll be back in a few hours." Sylvia said. "I trust you not to burn the house down."

Horatio waved her goodbye and the door slammed shut.

"I guess I could make cup noodles." Horatio mused, walking to the kitchen.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" The Analyst's voice came to him.

"Huh?"

"A certain loose end you haven't quite tied up?"

Horatio groaned. His mind went to Nora. He couldn't find a way out.

"Please allow me to eat something before you give me an anxiety attack." He huffed, pulling out a noodle packet.

Horatio pulled out his phone, curling up on his bed. An unwashed bowl on the floor. He sighed, pulling the covers over him and pushing the power button.

A picture of Nora and him from a year ago was on the screen. They were smiling, she was hugging him. Sylvia had taken that picture, he saw the beach in the background.

He swiped the picture away and opened his instant messenger, selecting Nora from his limited contact list.

-I want to apologise- He typed and hit 'send'. He pushed the power button again and the room was absolutely dark. He held the phone close to his chest, his heart slamming. He breathed, trying to calm his nerves.

His phone beeped. Trepidly he pushed the power again. The screen lit up, Nora had replied.

-For what?- She had sent. Horatio's heart sunk, he felt a sudden cold set into his bones. He realised this wasn't going to be as easy as he had thought.

Horatio's fingers moved from key to key. -Everything- He hit 'send'. He waited in silence for her response, staring intently at the screen as though he could change her next response simply by doing that. 

The wind whistled quietly through Horatio's room, his own heavy breaths being the only noticeable sound.

Horatio, heart skipped a beat as a new message came on the screen. -Don't waste your time making a mockery of our friendship.- it read.

Horatio felt himself deflate, felt his heart in his throat. He cursed, tossing his hand but keeping a tight grip on his phone.

Horatio stared at the ceiling, his phone hanging off the bed. His mind churned out situations, none of them pleasant.

"Any progress?" He asked.

"I might need a few more days." The Analyst responded. Horatio sighed. He brought the phone to his face, reading the message over and over. He tried to discern her emotional state. 

"She's definitely feeling betrayed," he noted.

"An emotion that has made quite an entry to your life." The Analyst added. Horatio sighed again. He tried to write a response.

-I'm not making a mockery of- 'No' He thought and hit 'delete'. He couldn't antagonise her, he needed to play for her goodwill. He thought hard, making use of all the resources he could, running half baked mental simulations to come out with an answer.

-Nora please- He hit 'send'. He sighed. Interpersoanl relationships really weren't his forte. He closed his eyes and felt the night. He needed a rift.

Horatio's phone beeped. He waited, his heart wasn't ready. He took in as much air as his lungs could and breathed out slowly. He pushed the power and read Nora's message. His fist clenched and his heart stalled, then flew into action.

Horatio breathed again, trying to clear his agitation. He shook his head,  it just wouldn't leave. Red flooded his mind.

'Dammit!" He threw off the covers and rose, shoving his phone into his pocket. He left the room, powering down the halls, stairs and out the front door.

His eyes scoured the dark sky, Sylvia would be home soon. He pushed through the small white gate and onto the street. He began up it, starting with a brisk walk before launching into a dead sprint, his hair glowing brilliantly.

-Nora, I really want to explain everything. But you have to understand that I can't.- He typed, he felt much calmer now.

He looked at the massive corpse beneath him, its tough scales made it a nightmare to beat. He was lucky this one hadn't matured enough to use its poison breath.

A new realisation dawned on him. Even without the threat of incompatibility he wouldn't want to bring Nora into this world.

He hit 'send'.

"I need a bath." He sighed, wiping blood off his clothes.

Horatio slipped into a tub of warm soapy water. He moaned, the slippery liquid relaxing his tense muscles, the soap stinging the scrapes he had picked up. Nora hadn't responded yet, she most likely wasn't going to at all.

"I should have asked Sylvia for help." He noted, stretching under the water.

"I advise to keep that option until ultimately necessary." The Analyst said. Horatio sighed.

"This is much worse than I'm catching on isn't it." He said with an awkward smile.

"Interpersonal functions still not calibrated, but perhaps this may offer some assurance: Nora does not hate you, and neither does Margulis."

Horatio mused over The Analyst's observation. He knew it was always right, so why did he find no truth in its statement? 

He rose and drained the tub, heading to his room.