Date: Sunday, August 12th 2018 @ 10:18PM

It's like I'm dying. I'm dying slower then I thought possible. I'm dying. My heart is dying, giving up. I cant stand to face it but I cant ignore it anymore. It's all adding up. All I wanted was to be 'normal', to have a real family. Know look at me. I'm dying, only just alive. Only just living. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of living with time. They say 'only time can tell.' What if my time is soon. Right around the corner, even. I've helped people that I may never see or help again. I've lived long enough to see the world change. (And not for the better.) I try. I hold. I let it go, but I cant and its killing me. My story is written in a book for Pete sake. A book, written. My world isn't even mine anymore. I hide, afraid? Maybe? But I hide everything. Hereditary somethings that nobody will know hurts. Ever:

-my Unknown (7) thinking/ignoring me. I'm dead to her these days.

-my Unknown (6) has only talked, seen, hugged me three, THREE TIMES. Hasn't EVEN BOTHERED TO TEXT ME!

-My family (grandfather) is dead and I still haven't cooped/couped

-My dad! It hurts to even spell the word father.

Everyone I loves in my family is leaving me.

-Unknown (10) is an ASSHOLE!

-My ex boyfriend is a Unknown (10), copycat apparently.

-I'm going to high school.

Time huh? I gave it my life, my whole entire almost fourteen years. What the FUCK did it do to my life. Other the fuck it up more.

That's about all I can think it did.

My levels of stress relieving skills.

1) Nothing 2) Nothing/Dance/Sing 3) Color 4) Write 5) Read 6) Nail Polish 7) Knife/Razor/Glass 8) Anything

1= being not so bad

8= being so stressed I cant think

Yep my life is FUCKED!

And that's what happens when time comes to play its part!

Most days, so far have been, ok. I also had to admit something to someone(Unknown 11), today.

I'm so crazy they wanted to put me on pills. PILLS!

They almost same "PILLS" that killed my mom, or ruined my life a few days to many, she was on them.

My Unknown (4) can do it! She can cry, feel the pain, unbury it.

Why the Hell CAN'T I?

What's wrong with me? What did the world do to me? What have I done to myself? (Other then create a monster. I already knew that.)

I feed off of blood, skin. (Mine of course.) I feel sick. I'm going to just stop so you know. 10:41pm